Intimacy: Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie....

By Ouch - 14/07/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 597

You deserved it 15 542

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Same thing different taste

Sick burn

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 502

You deserved it 8 202

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 435

You deserved it 54 881

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 124

You deserved it 64 171

Sexy time

By Msmerfner - 03/08/2013 08:40 - United States - Hemet

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 497

You deserved it 16 123

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 497

You deserved it 9 626

We'll just order out

By Lili - 22/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Akron

Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 271

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By Anonymous - 30/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 563

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 471

You tried!

By Noname - 15/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 963

You deserved it 50 986

Skin deep

By EffinAhole - 03/10/2010 04:27 - France

Today, to spice things up a bit, my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner, so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 116

You deserved it 36 981

6daysoverdue 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 12:12

HOT

24788 6

Tuesday 14 July 2009 12:48

Cook and lingerine?! Those two words together in the same sentence? He had it made until then. Now all he'll be seeing is the dark walls of his doghouse. FHL

Comments

dcstream 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:29

I don't see what's wrong here. You stayed in the kitchen.

GlobalB 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 5:09

Nothing says sexy like a second degree burn... FYL though. I mean.. in your boyfriend's defense it sounds like something I would do jokingly to my girlfriend as well, but not while handling materials she could potentially hurt herself with.

Muninn 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 5:12

Why the christ would anyone cook in lingerie. Furthermore, YDI for cooking using scalding oil. In lingerie. What's next, princess? Sex-ay naked arc welding?

tonyspag 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 6:40

Dump the boyfriend he's a moron.

FreshPrince19 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 7:41

ahahha thats jokes

WindsorDog 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 7:48

Well, did you learn anything?

lastdayinvegas 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 7:56

my suggestion, cook with no clothes on except an apron safer

laffinatu 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 14:57

your boyfriend is an idiot for not appreciating the sight and effort and for thinking that scaring you would somehow improve the moment. and it's never a good idea to be around boiling cooking oil half naked...it's just asking for trouble.