Love: Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store....

By splitzville - 16/03/2010 20:12 - United States

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 972

You deserved it 40 891

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 102

You deserved it 40 070

Hey you

By djteller - 25/04/2009 00:13 - Israel

Today, while I was running around the block, I got the urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 050

You deserved it 48 758

By Anonymous - 11/08/2014 17:24 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 706

You deserved it 51 500

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 10:12 - Malta - Qormi

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 184

You deserved it 5 998

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 510

You deserved it 6 832

By Anonymous - 22/02/2014 02:47 - United States - Irvine

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 915

You deserved it 8 257

What are you doing?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 632

You deserved it 12 961

By gumchuck - 05/02/2015 21:03 - United States - Marshall

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 860

You deserved it 16 321

Sticky

By Anonymous - 01/03/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 158

By Anonymous - 29/01/2013 17:41 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 447

You deserved it 10 084

Official_Person 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 2:34

You don't blow a bubble gum bubble if you're trying to impress someone. Unless you're six.

foolishworkerbee 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 2:33

i bet she was most impressed.

Comments

MsNeverSingle 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 8:43

sux 4 u...ouch

FYLDeep 25

Wednesday 17 March 2010 9:42

OP, it looks like you misspelled cum as gum. You should proofread better next time.

alex_vik 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 10:03

You realize you probably just tried to flirt with a straight person, right?

fakkumairaifu 14

Wednesday 17 March 2010 11:26

And your point is... what, exactly? Nothing ventured nothing gained.

buttshapedfruit 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 11:00

lmfao!!! fail! haha

Sdras 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 11:56

One thing FML teaches us is never try to look cool or be flirty, it always ends up in disaster.

lissn 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 12:11

Haha, smooth.

youthink_fml 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 12:58

Blow a bubble to get her attention? Are you 6 years old?

mahamii_93 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 13:04

so you blow bubbles when you're feeling flirtatious? YDI

caisonaboat 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 13:23

haha, too bad OP. Better luck next time :)

C2Ultima 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 14:16

Well, that'd look intresting in slow motion.

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Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 629

You deserved it 72 783

Today, my cat went from a badass huntress to the tuxedo equivalent of Garfield in just four years. She's only 6. I don't overfeed her and try very hard to keep her active. I have no idea why she got so fat and lazy. I do know that dealing with bugs by myself is something I can't afford to do adequately right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 181

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight about a clogged toilet. He was yelling about not having enough money to buy a better plunger and so I stormed out to buy one myself. While pulling his truck into traffic, a car hit me causing $1000 in damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 600

You deserved it 9 626

Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 503

You deserved it 3 045

Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 206

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 537

You deserved it 5 813

Same thing different taste

Hey you

What are you doing?

Sticky

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