Miscellaneous: Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room.... - FML

By nekkiddrunk - 14/01/2010 02:04 - United States

Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 900

You deserved it 40 620

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Fun vacation times

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I needed to relax, so I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished, I went to put the tray outside, not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room, wearing smiley face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 474

You deserved it 27 388

By Anonymous - 05/07/2019 05:58

Today, while we were in a hotel, I got so drunk I apparently couldn't find my room, and passed out in the corridor. I woke up to see hotel staff calling security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 2 049

By killmenow - 23/04/2014 14:54 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 842

You deserved it 14 423

By Blie - 04/09/2018 20:30

Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 4 235

By joser6969 - 29/10/2011 14:07 - United States

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 972

You deserved it 11 958

By FailedEngineer - 20/10/2009 21:31 - Australia

Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 284

You deserved it 35 681

Send help!

By Anonymous - 30/05/2019 23:30 - India - Pune

Today, I've managed to lock myself in my own bedroom. It won't open no matter what I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 388

Stuck

By crap - 19/06/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 886

You deserved it 44 922

By Sebastian20 - 08/05/2013 11:05 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 352

You deserved it 15 626

Maze

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 18:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while in a hotel, I left the room to get some ice. Since my parents left the door wedged open, I didn't worry about trying to find the room number. Without thinking, I walked in to another room that was also wedged open. Yes, there were people in it, and yes, they were both naked and hairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 984

You deserved it 9 229

Next

Top comments

24788 6

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:43

What's so bad about that? You were drunk and free. That's a win.

jair_lhao 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:32

idiot i would have laugh at you and taken pictures to laugh at you later in life

Comments

kimstirk 0

Friday 15 January 2010 14:12

haha, sounds similar to what Russell brand did. nice one.

brissychick90 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 1:45

lol @14 I agree what rugby team do you play for? or is this Nate Myles ??

jes23 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 3:32

ur ******* crazy ur such a dumb louser man get a life that is just sad

BLAARGH 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 8:00

PICTURES OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN

ricodino07 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 9:01

idiot

syd7575 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 18:40

g or b?? haha

toshmahal1 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 22:27

that happened to someone while i was in New Orleans. we all laughed and made fun of him!

NellyFC35 19

Saturday 2 February 2013 15:45

eeee....stanky body!

rochellecliffe 8

Thursday 25 July 2013 9:28

Way to party :D

NickThunder 12

Tuesday 26 May 2015 21:49

Don't get drunk next time bub

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Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

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You deserved it 2 092

Today, I discovered that no matter how hot and exhausted you are, being blasted in the face with a high pressure hose is always more painful than refreshing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 266

You deserved it 10 579

Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 861

You deserved it 1 335

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 102

You deserved it 4 780

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

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You deserved it 5 302

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

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You deserved it 54 225