Miscellaneous: Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last...

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 10:52 - Australia

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 925

You deserved it 7 787

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Same thing different taste

Just a prank, bro

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 22:03

Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling upbeat and confident I was gonna get the position, until I saw that my main qualification on my resume was being a "real n**ga" and "getting bitches and hoes 24/7." My brother had changed it as a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 251

By Unemployed - 16/10/2011 07:15 - United States

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 006

You deserved it 5 663

By Jobless - 13/08/2009 01:47 - United States

Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 990

You deserved it 4 356

By fuck you, tasha - 24/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 291

You deserved it 8 651

By mareecasellafml - 27/03/2015 09:51 - Australia - Belrose

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 444

You deserved it 4 257

By anonymouschicka - 01/08/2009 19:20 - United States

Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 259

You deserved it 54 457

By captainfail - 14/07/2009 15:27 - Germany

Today, I applied for my first job. I didn't know how to write a resume, so I copied and pasted one from someone else and reworked it. I got on the bus, handed it in, and left. Then I remembered I forgot to change the contact info and date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 632

You deserved it 75 016

By nojob - 07/05/2009 19:15 - Canada

Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 164

You deserved it 4 475

By stilljobless - 21/05/2015 02:49 - United States - Willimantic

Today, I got a call from a really great company that I applied to work for, asking me to come in for an interview. When I went in, they had no appointment scheduled and no idea who I was. It turned out it was all a prank by my brother and his friends. My brother is 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 566

You deserved it 2 183

By Anyonexx0 - 14/04/2015 18:15 - United States - Washington

Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 808

You deserved it 3 789

AnnyPants 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 16:23

haha, wouldnt you proof-read your resume before you went out? maybe you will in future

TwilghtLuvr13 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 16:29

Please learn to, use commas correctly

Comments

erinashleeburns 0

Monday 19 October 2009 2:46

dude your an @$$

Fuzzynavel 10

Monday 19 October 2009 3:42

Douche bag is an American insult. I live in Victoria and i've never heard anyone use it. Either you're American, your bro watches too much tv or this is a load of shit. I'm callin fake. I'm so cool i can wear sunglasses at night.

sophiexo 0

Monday 19 October 2009 9:04

i live in australia and hear douche bag ALL the time. i hate that word.

Honda288 2

Monday 19 October 2009 4:06

Wow does he know what he just did??? Go kick that dumbfucks ass!1

urlifeisfucked_fml 0

Monday 19 October 2009 4:07

You're an idiot. When you're looking for a job the more resumes you send out, the more likely you are to get a job. Don't comment on stuff you know nothing about.

GreenHacker 0

Monday 19 October 2009 4:20

lol, that is hilarious. In college I changed the autocorrect settings on my roommate's computer so every time he typed his name, it would automatically change it to JackOff McGee. YDI for not double-checking your resume before handing it out. If I were looking to hire someone, I would not give you the job. If you make an oversight like this before I even hire you, what will you be like after I hire you?

StanVanGundy 0

Monday 19 October 2009 4:41

Also, I'm not sure how many recruiters are looking for resumes in paragraph format. Short and sweet seems to be the way to go.

Cozzies 0

Monday 19 October 2009 5:02

If you happened to hand your resume in at one or more of: Kotex Tampax Pink Hygiene Libra Kendall Nanma Mfg Co TidyBio Narang Medical Apothecaries Sundries Mfg Co Gem Optical Instruments Industries Lifeline Systems Pvt. Ltd GPC Medical Ltd.(Hospital and Medical Equipment Division) Avishkar International Private Limited Dream Zinks Jaison Rubber Industries Ved Sons Industries India Vallabhji Bhikha & Company Tian Wang Technology OR Rand Research Then being a massive douche bag will put you head and shoulders above all the other applicants, in which case this is not an FML, but rather a Win!

GreenHacker 0

Monday 19 October 2009 5:05

So maybe print out another copy of that resume and apply for the Tampax Corporation?

Djoooiz 0

Monday 19 October 2009 6:56

Your brother is awesome!

AnnoyingFlamingo 0

Monday 19 October 2009 7:46

Well hopefully one of thaw businesses was a telemarketer firm. They are giant douche bags. If there is no luck, see if any female employees need a new gyno.