Work: Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and...

By evomadrid24 - 02/06/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 195

You deserved it 2 802

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Same thing different taste

Pissed

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Windsor Heights

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 718

You deserved it 6 583

Waste of time

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 06:00 - United States - Belton

Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 92

Just Say Yes

By bringthemback - 29/03/2014 10:34 - United States - Columbia

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 141

You deserved it 4 259

By xharmonyx - 24/04/2012 08:29 - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 763

You deserved it 71 136

By dragynfyre - 06/03/2012 05:37 - United States

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 936

You deserved it 2 136

By overflowing - 16/04/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 205

You deserved it 8 676

By Anonymous - 10/06/2016 17:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 735

You deserved it 1 320

Are you taking the piss?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 14:00

Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 538

You deserved it 926

Never trust a cookie

By Anonymous - 06/01/2022 14:01

Today, I'm a proud non drug user, but I trusted an oat cookie at my brother's birthday, which was loaded with pot. Tomorrow is our mandatory drug screening at work, my job is government based, and I worked my ass off to get it. Anyone who tests positive or misses the test is sacked immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 192

By heck - 12/08/2016 13:57

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 159

You deserved it 18 548

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 9:02

Why 2 hours later? Did you need time for your erection to go down?

frozenfreeze 5

Thursday 2 June 2011 9:21

It could have been worse. You could have had to pee while 130 guys were watching you.

Comments

WillKill4Beer 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 11:22

Pissssssss Test!! "Alright.... Let's see te meat and potatoes and fill those cups!". lol...

bluegoldfish 7

Thursday 2 June 2011 11:52

well that must have... *puts on sunglasses* pissed you off.

bluegoldfish 7

Thursday 2 June 2011 12:36

YEEEEAAHH!

FlipInBrosky 4

Thursday 2 June 2011 12:01

That does sound something like what the military would **** you over for! So, FYL 8==D

bringmepieskm 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 15:44

my thoughts exactly! sounds like a day in the navy! meat gazers everywhere!

arianebanana 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 12:06

did I mention I was gay and thought my day went fabulously

rogerusmc23 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 14:21

sounds like a military gig. i had to do that once awhile back.

MaskingTape 2

Thursday 2 June 2011 17:38

I've had to do that for the random testing too. fml.

perdix 29

Thursday 2 June 2011 14:54

Well, now you know just how small your dick is. "Bigger...bigger...bigger...about the same...bigger...bigger...Yay! Micropenis! I'll become friends with this guy because he won't steal my wife!"