Animals: Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 785

You deserved it 10 802

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Same thing different taste

Harmless, huh?

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 828

You deserved it 7 561

Mystery

By mugged - 01/06/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 280

You deserved it 4 717

By Username - 19/05/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 206

You deserved it 7 954

By Anonymous - 09/04/2012 05:15 - United States

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 192

You deserved it 3 596

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 602

You deserved it 943

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 693

You deserved it 5 355

By youknowwhatitis - 22/06/2011 13:31 - Australia

Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 740

You deserved it 36 031

Freakout

By Brie - 29/05/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 010

You deserved it 11 775

By furball - 15/06/2014 20:01 - Inchture

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 284

You deserved it 9 322

By violated ._. - 22/08/2013 22:45 - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 327

You deserved it 15 406

Dezi_Chan 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:05

Deserved it. You probably threw a peanut at it, or even worse... MADE THE DUCKFACE! :OO

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:07

I AM THE WALRUS!!!! coo coo ca choo :-P

Comments

cheezbrgrsrcool 1

Thursday 21 July 2011 7:35

lol

ilovepotatoes419 14

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:54

yeah

TheFiercePhoenix 5

Sunday 7 August 2011 0:51

I read this and saw waitress. My version was funnier.

ukrichu 14

Sunday 4 September 2011 0:44

Wait... You can pet the walruses there?!?!

CrassKal 27

Tuesday 4 October 2011 5:20

You got to touch a walrus? Awesome.

Doj456 5

Tuesday 11 October 2011 15:01

YDI for talking back to the Walrus-Pimp. BITCH, DON'T TALK BACK TO YO WALRAPIMP.

TheLBG 5

Thursday 13 October 2011 22:14

EPIC

nemoK96 6

Monday 28 November 2011 5:21

LMFAOO!!

charliebot 4

Saturday 24 March 2012 17:34

That isn't an fml. That's a freaking win.

CyberPunkTink 0

Sunday 15 April 2012 1:42

OP:You are the eggman, I am the eggman, I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob. Walrus:NO IM THE WALRUS BITCH!*bitchslaps OP*

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The Top

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 792

You deserved it 13 704

Today, I was loudly bitched out by someone for speaking in a fake British accent, to make myself "sound sophisticated". I moved here two years ago from London. FML

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I agree, your life sucks 40 735

You deserved it 3 437

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I agree, your life sucks 15 175

You deserved it 1 244

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I agree, your life sucks 1 498

You deserved it 248

Today, I had to find a date for this banquet we did in my town every year. I paid my neighbor 40 bucks an hour to be my date. It was a 4 hour event. Best part: she got drunk and told the whole town I was paying her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 910

You deserved it 59 703

Same thing different taste

Harmless, huh?

Mystery

Freakout

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