Intimacy: Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me...

By Anonymous - 14/02/2011 17:15 - Belgium

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 936

You deserved it 4 903

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Same thing different taste

By fashionVictim - 08/03/2009 20:35 - United States

Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 676

You deserved it 13 020

By Anonymous - 10/12/2014 08:13 - United States - Seaside

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 116

You deserved it 8 716

By jaxattax - 20/10/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 567

You deserved it 82 950

By Anonymous - 27/12/2014 20:53 - United States - Tucson

Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 134

You deserved it 4 861

By flavored - 18/11/2013 15:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 238

You deserved it 19 477

Toys R Us

By microlovin - 28/07/2013 07:45 - United States - Pasadena

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 831

You deserved it 9 270

Missing

By Anon - 04/08/2013 05:36 - Australia - Perth

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 678

You deserved it 20 303

Donut eat this

By Anonymous - 07/08/2015 21:18 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my sister offered me a couple of doughnuts she bought recently. Thinking she was just being nice, I went ahead and started eating, and was met with the most horrid taste I've ever experienced. Turns out her "recently" was two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 734

You deserved it 2 160

By frootloops - 21/11/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 27 755

By samboob - 01/09/2010 21:01 - United States

Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 115

You deserved it 44 547

RavensRule97 0

Monday 14 February 2011 23:00

if he used it as a **** ring and you thought it was a bracelet either you have a small ass arm or hes hung like a horse

UTTU 0

Monday 14 February 2011 22:58

Now you just need to figure out what exactly you liked the taste of...

Comments

dayday14_fml 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 3:09

eeww

doof_fisch 2

Tuesday 15 February 2011 3:49

What was the flavor........peckermint?

mizzflory 5

Tuesday 15 February 2011 5:22

win(:

taelorrae011 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 7:19

lol clever(:

FYLSLOWLY 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 13:46

No, cockmint.

bella789 8

Wednesday 16 February 2011 15:54

that was a goodone(:

Black57Mamba 2

Tuesday 15 February 2011 4:00

I made an acount just to comment on this one!

jess6blondie9 2

Tuesday 15 February 2011 7:34

You made an account on FML to write a comment saying that you made an account just to comment on this one. Smooth.

quocvo 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 7:38

lol^

Mewzakuro240 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 8:31

Well aren't you so ******* special?

hahayousucks 3

Tuesday 15 February 2011 4:17

******* WIN!!! ^_^

Hawkcody1958 1

Tuesday 15 February 2011 4:25

number 4 lol lol that was soooooo funny

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Tuesday 15 February 2011 4:26

Was it Cherry? Or Orange? Or Grape? Or Kiwi? Or Blueberry?

BlackHoleSuns 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 6:13

Was it popped cheery? Or tangy orange? Or raped grape? Or hairy kiwi? Or blueberry waffle?

meeba 2

Tuesday 15 February 2011 4:27

mlck1996 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 5:04

sucka

hockeyplaya2029 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 5:16

was it salty

Mr25_fml 14

Tuesday 15 February 2011 5:25

..... Evil sisters

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 778

You deserved it 4 579

Today, I have killed at least several dozen flies over the course of the past few days. My cat, who used to be a fly killing machine, isn't doing shit to help me. She's not old or fat or anything, she's just lazy. Meanwhile, I had to go buy a water bottle with a cover to keep flies from going into my drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 252

Today, I decided to confront my friend who has been stealing from me for months. She denied it, while wearing a pair of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 154

You deserved it 4 438

Today, a friend told me that when I read, I make all the expressions the characters in the book are making. Apparently, I have been doing this since I was a kid, and no one ever told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 746

You deserved it 2 172

Today, I had my window opened slightly, without a screen behind it. I walked into the living room and smelled a skunk. I looked out the window and saw a skunk, so I quickly closed the window. However, it was too late. Before I could do so, it turned and sprayed me, a few meters of my house, and our front porch too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 170

Today, the friend I recommended for a job at my workplace is getting fired for being one of the worst people they have ever hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 341

You deserved it 856

Same thing different taste

Toys R Us

Missing

Donut eat this

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