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By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 20:37 - United States - Chesapeake
Today, I found out that I'm never getting laid. Ever. My girlfriend, who I'm too in love with and have been in love with for too long to break up with over something like this, admitted to me that she's asexual. Even masturbating has now lost its appeal because that's all I'm ever going to get. FML