Intimacy: Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after...

By whoreticulturalist - 27/10/2012 19:18 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 663

You deserved it 15 563

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Same thing different taste

Oooooooh!

By only my life - 22/04/2014 22:21 - United States - Concord

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 924

You deserved it 6 750

By Anonymous - 05/12/2013 19:10 - United Kingdom - Washington

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 735

You deserved it 8 789

By Hard in flip flops - 21/01/2018 06:00

Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 938

You deserved it 4 772

Bobs and vagene!!

By fuck - 13/07/2013 17:22 - United Kingdom - Farnham

Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 513

You deserved it 59 946

By dad, please - 16/05/2016 05:37 - United States - Wellesley Hills

Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 040

You deserved it 1 565

By wowthatwould - 04/12/2011 21:39 - United States

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 423

You deserved it 46 736

Caught in 1080p

By wtf - 16/05/2014 22:25 - Australia - Narangba

Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 667

You deserved it 15 010

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 124

You deserved it 74 107

Overdoing it a bit

By Anonymous - 12/11/2022 16:00

Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 1 206

By PizzaNIF - 13/07/2016 17:58 - United States - Henderson

Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 861

You deserved it 1 335

The_Big_Boss 20

Sunday 28 October 2012 2:35

Wanking the gibbon...?

FMLkaiiden 8

Sunday 28 October 2012 2:31

Lmao, that sucks. All over that sucks, didn't finish, in pain, and embarrassed. Sorry to hear bro.

Comments

yenidewi 11

Sunday 28 October 2012 14:11

hahaahahahhahahhahaaha ... that's how **** made u feel happy ... lolz

MikeMufasa 1

Sunday 28 October 2012 14:20

That escalated quickly!

gregkingsley 4

Sunday 28 October 2012 16:39

I'm sure ur dad understands that you and Rosie Palmer have a relationship.

lhamil64_fml 5

Sunday 28 October 2012 22:00

Be lucky it was your dad and not your mom. I'm sure your dad has masturbated too.

Discombobulated9 12

Sunday 28 October 2012 23:21

And his mom hasn't?

mdmenchaca 5

Monday 29 October 2012 2:32

Damn bro I've had that cramp before when I was doing the dirty, glad to know I'm not the only one

off_constantly 8

Monday 29 October 2012 3:26

I seriously can't believe this fml got published...

sugarlover1998 7

Monday 29 October 2012 6:47

"wanking the gibbon".....

karen1991 15

Monday 29 October 2012 7:24

So did he give u tips about this problem? Lol

noisebox 1

Monday 29 October 2012 20:19

Not good but it have been worse if your mother came in instead. PS: I am going to include your story in my new book entitled:Unhappy Wacker Stories...