Sex and Love: Today, I asked my husband to come upstairs to our bedroom, thinking...

By anonymous2.0 - 12/10/2012 06:15 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I asked my husband to come upstairs to our bedroom, thinking I could get some "special time." It ended up with us arguing about his mother, and him falling asleep cuddling my pillow while sucking his thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 344

You deserved it 3 667

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Randy

By Anonymous - 09/05/2024 19:00

Today, it took me two hours to put all the kids to bed, so all I wanted to do was watch TV but my husband, who'd spent all that time asleep on the sofa, started pestering me for sex like he thought he deserved it after I'd asked him for help 3 times before just doing all the work myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 187

Crazy nights

By Ugh... - 20/07/2010 08:15 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 600

You deserved it 10 091

Alexa, play "Cannonball" by The Breeders

By Anonymous - 18/05/2020 17:00

Today, I was getting frisky with my husband under the covers in bed. My son decided to run into our room and cannonball on top of my husband. This startled him, which caused him to bite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 619

You deserved it 317

By jess - 24/12/2018 04:00

Today, I decided to go home and apologise to my husband for accusing him of having an affair. I came home to find him having sex with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 270

You deserved it 336

By really - 07/11/2014 00:30 - United States

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 060

You deserved it 4 371

Classy dude

By tw@ - 28/09/2014 15:30 - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 932

You deserved it 4 891

Can't catch a break

By Anonymous - 22/04/2023 18:30 - India - Bengaluru

Today, my husband went out for a walk. My kids were tucked in bed and all the chores were done, so I finally had time to myself in a long time. I just wanted to watch porn and masturbate, but then my husband returned early to kiss me good night, and my son snuggled into my bed as he had a nightmare. Me time? Lol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 395

By Anonymous - 21/06/2016 23:24 - United States - Winder

Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 573

You deserved it 1 095

By WasntWorthIt - 30/07/2014 17:04 - United States - Concord

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 764

You deserved it 5 886

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 635

You deserved it 2 709

lolmigosh 15

Friday 12 October 2012 12:01

well that is special in its own way..

SakataGintoki 9

Friday 12 October 2012 12:06

Doesn't surprise me he was arguing about his mother considering he still acts like a child.

Comments

asherm 15

Saturday 13 October 2012 0:16

He needs to detach himself from mom's ****. Imagine when you have kids, he'll probably really regress because he won't be the baby anymore. Have fun with that.

aj94w 4

Saturday 13 October 2012 3:59

His loss. His thumb was all that got sucked that night.

Chris_Hansen_DMC 2

Saturday 13 October 2012 4:22

Violate him

Chris_Hansen_DMC 2

Saturday 13 October 2012 4:24

Violate him

kneecoalparis 3

Saturday 13 October 2012 4:59

Lmfao

Chris_Hansen_DMC 2

Saturday 13 October 2012 16:13

Poo on his face whilst he sleeps

JuliannVo 11

Saturday 13 October 2012 21:21

What a baby o-o..

Tyvex 2

Monday 15 October 2012 1:22

So you had an argument. He was probably in a bad mood about his mother and you did something to offend him. And now you're complaining because he didn't want to have sex. Do you want to have sex every second of every day and never refuse it?