By Anonymous - 15/04/2011 00:53 - Canada

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML
I agree, your life sucks 10 619
You deserved it 36 066
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

batgirl_babygirl 0

just laugh at yourself dude, people like funny people...not lame ass liars

17 0
Cmliedtke 0

Whenever anyone tells those bullshit stories its so easy to tell theyre lying..

12 0

Comments

maa_rico 4

OP you are not fooling us either, i bet your girlfriend kicked your ass.

7 2
marriiee_fml 0

really? kicking a muggers ass? ..cant you say you fell down the stairs or something like any normal person.

0 1
KleenexWaffle 3

If he fell down the stairs he'd have a lot more than a bruised face. He should have used something like; 'So I was walking down the street the other day when I saw a puppy about to get run over by a car. I dove heroically onto the street saving the puppy's life! Then I tripped and hit my face on the sidewalk' It doesn't have to be believable as long as he doesn't let people know it was really because he's an idiot.

2 1
dolphincheddar 10

I'm going with 13. she probably beat the shit outta him and this is his try at sympathy while he cries in a corner. ydi for being a pussy

0 0
sterlingarcher 1

you don't have to yell, I don't have ear cancer!! ( Archer ) :)..

1 2
CherryBomb511 3

Haha 17, you made my night.

1 2
tsim_fml 0

hes not a retard, he was just unlucky

0 2
sterlingarcher 1

he's retarded for making up a lame story.. lol

2 0
tsim_fml 0

so you're going to just accept what happened and be like "i hit myself in the face with the door?" i dont think so

0 3
sterlingarcher 1

umm no .. I would think of a better story duh.. lol

0 1
sterlingarcher 1

umm I dunno.. I'll have to think of something lol..

0 1
KleenexWaffle 3

He should have come up with something along the lines of; 'I was railing this chick in the bar washroom when, *BANG*. Smacked my head on the stall door'. Much more believable and he can save face in front of his friends. He still totally deserves it though.

0 2
sterlingarcher 1

haha.. lol.. and yes they do deserve it! :D

0 1
gotbiscuits 0

Archer, considering your appearance, we couldn't tell if you had a black eye. Is that what the glasses are for?

0 1
dre_bro11 12

50, I hope you were joking, but sunglasses aren't just worn for 'people with a black eye'.

1 0
sterlingarcher 1

I know right?? sunglasses are awesome and I was in the car that's why they are on.. lol

0 1
ceepevoy 0

Did a tampon just say "temper temper"?

0 1
tsim_fml 0

i was about to say "tampon tampon" but it wouldnt let me

0 1
scar97 0

I dot know whats more pathetic... the fact I wear an adult diaper or the fact I still shit myself...

0 0
tsim_fml 0

probably the fact that you wear a diaper, i mean i shit myself all the time but atleast im enough of a man to do it in my own longjohns.

0 0
scar97 0

25- but when you smell like human feaces and I smell like lemony fresh adult diapers, well c who ppl like more. lawl

0 0
ryanriola 0

you wear adult diapers sucks for you.

0 0
scar97 0

34- ever heard of a joke?

0 0
CitrusGirl 0

Or that your comment didn't pertain to the fml?

0 0
scar97 0

Actually, the person in the FML talked about how he didn't know what was more pathetic. so technically, my comment did have something to do with the post.

0 0
Soloman212 28

Yes. it has parallelism and similar sentence structure.

0 0
scar97 0

56 I can't tell if that's sarcasm, but if it's not, then thank you.

0 0
0opsie 6

They know you're lying anyway.

2 0
Cmliedtke 0

Whenever anyone tells those bullshit stories its so easy to tell theyre lying..

12 0
batgirl_babygirl 0

I know right? op should enhance the fact he got beat up by a door and make it funny ..not be ashamed...that's what I would do.."you would not believe what I just did to myself ha ha...."

0 0
mintcar 9

Yeah because you totally kicked a muggers ass. Sounds all too believable.

4 0