Miscellaneous: Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that,...

By Notasinner - 24/05/2012 22:39 - United Kingdom - London

Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 874

You deserved it 2 200

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Same thing different taste

By wallet? GONE - 21/04/2013 22:27 - United States - Pueblo

Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 712

You deserved it 3 823

By mel_bear_ - 14/03/2012 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 339

You deserved it 2 600

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 21:26 - United Kingdom

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 713

You deserved it 3 451

Book him!

By Anonymous - 14/10/2010 13:42 - Reserved

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 776

You deserved it 3 518

Get the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 22:00

Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 127

By sbutler - 14/07/2011 20:14 - United States

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 454

You deserved it 51 305

By NotBeingPaidEnough - 03/03/2016 13:17 - United Kingdom - London

Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat, and threw up on my checkout counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 471

You deserved it 1 325

**** off

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 12:24 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 139

You deserved it 35 320

By Dude - 19/08/2009 10:32 - United States

Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 671

You deserved it 5 039

By never thought I'd say that - 22/08/2013 19:05 - Norway - Stavanger

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 749

You deserved it 2 852

ICastillo 24

Friday 25 May 2012 9:09

"The power of Christ compels you bitch"

Meowingtons500 18

Friday 25 May 2012 9:13

Look mommy! That man is giving free showers. Oh sweet Jesus! Honey, walk faster.

Comments

mhopper 13

Friday 25 May 2012 9:28

Oh Jesus freaks. They make me laugh with their silly nonsense.

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Friday 25 May 2012 21:32

I had a bible thrown at my head once. I drew pictures and comments on every page, and threw it back the next day. Needless to say, that lady hates me.

Shadow_Phantom 26

Friday 25 May 2012 9:31

Those kinds of people always make me laugh... and facepalm at the same time. It's sad, really. I hope this doesn't happen to you often, OP. FYL.

jayfreeman80 0

Friday 25 May 2012 9:33

He's a visionary - hope you took his advice

sammy_mojo 7

Friday 25 May 2012 9:36

These type of people usually haunt the same area, so at least you now know one more area to avoid!

HannahLouise96 13

Friday 25 May 2012 9:43

"Praise the Lord, you shit!"

vicky_reoow 1

Friday 25 May 2012 9:56

"Dear Lord, please protect me from shitheads. Amen."

rattusrattus 18

Friday 25 May 2012 10:14

Did they specify the kind of 'evil shite'? There are lots of types: goat-botherers, wearers of polyester, people who like shellfish, people who yell bigoted crap over the internet, haters of kittens, loathers of puppies, me, people who genuinely enjoy Twilight... you gotta specify, otherwise you won't know what to repent for!