Intimacy: The passenger

The passenger

By benander - 15/09/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 052

You deserved it 4 115

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Same thing different taste

By scarred for life - 28/05/2016 05:23 - United States - Carmel

Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused by working out and eating more healthily. It was from the tapeworm I discovered hanging out my ass after I took a crap. I had to pull it out with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 591

You deserved it 4 086

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 721

You deserved it 35 150

By what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - 05/04/2013 18:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 714

You deserved it 4 841

That's nice

By ouch - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 750

You deserved it 3 902

Sorry, little dude

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 117

You deserved it 3 662

Creepypasta

By mrsekko - 31/05/2011 12:44 - United States

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 882

You deserved it 5 302

By blowinchunks - 24/11/2009 06:00 - Canada

Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 774

You deserved it 2 969

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 20/08/2022 12:00

Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 292

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 17/03/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 92

By Rob - 16/10/2009 01:59 - France

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said, "Have fun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 650

You deserved it 3 584

LOLYLIF 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 3:05

I hope to ******* God no one does a comic for this one.

zrjones 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 1:52

this is oone of the nastiest FMLs ever

Comments

crazycatlady15 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 5:22

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU POOR POOR GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(:

christina7861 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 5:23

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

ShenziSixaxis 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 5:24

Well, that's horrible to learn. But don't worry, tapeworms don't do anything but eat the food you eat, so you'll be okay until you get the meds. Just make sure you take all of them as prescribed.

drseuss 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 5:27

... and people think that the Canadian health care has bad patient care and the best way to take care of patients are through money making business and that with health care reform patient care would get worse... like to see how this story could be worse