Friends, Thief, Bikes and Miscellaneous: Nice "friend" you've got there - FML

Nice "friend" you've got there

By jwhizzle - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found my "lost" bicycle in my best friend's garage. I've been having to catch two buses to get to work for the past few months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 649

You deserved it 3 095

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Classic

By Anonymous - 04/01/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I thought my car had been stolen because I couldn’t for the life of me find it in the office car park. I panicked and called the cops, only to remember I had taken my bike to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 528

By anonymous - 22/12/2017 15:00

Today, I took the bus home after visiting a friend. Standing in front of my house, I realized that I had forgotten my keys. They were still in my car, which I had parked at my friend's place and forgotten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 160

You deserved it 3 500

By UnluckyTeen - 22/10/2009 11:29 - Singapore

Today, I went to retrieve my stolen wallet from a train station. After I collected it, I returned to the place where I'd parked my bike, only to find that my bike had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 883

You deserved it 3 416

By Blue_Heart - 05/09/2015 18:47 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I decided to bike to work. I normally forget the key to my lock, so I leave it out back and hope that nobody takes it, and nobody does. I finally remembered my lock key so I chained it up. After my 7 hour shift, I walk to the back only to find the lock had been cut, and my bike was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 896

You deserved it 1 974

By walkingisfun - 02/07/2017 20:00

Today, the university bike permit that I'd ordered half a year ago finally arrived. Unfortunately, my bike was stolen months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 847

You deserved it 311

By Zyopy - 18/12/2015 08:33 - Australia - Hampton

Today, I didn't secure my friend's wheelchair well enough to my car roof before giving him a ride. It flew off mid-drive and we still haven't found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 006

You deserved it 7 199

By brokeasscollegelife - 20/11/2015 21:25 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 664

You deserved it 3 466

By double trouble - 04/05/2015 04:04

Today, I found my bike that was stolen a week ago in front of someone's house. Now this wouldn't have been a problem if my husband didn't steal it to go meet with his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 906

You deserved it 2 572

Stranded

By i love stupid people - 14/07/2019 06:30

Today, I went on a 50 km bike ride with a friend. We stopped for a break halfway through, and locked our bikes up. When we returned, some guy had locked his bike to mine. We had to wait an hour for him to return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 019

You deserved it 127

This is how I roll

By Carrie P - 14/08/2024 20:00 - France - Lambesc

Today, I went out to where I'd parked my bike only to find that someone had stolen my bike seat. Not the bike, just the seat. I had to ride my bike two miles home in the rain like I was climbing a hill in the Tour de France, while other cyclists moved out of my way in confusion, all while trying to avoid me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 89

Next

Top comments

Awahso 25

Thursday 20 October 2011 16:03

Well, now you "found" it.

kaka123abc 0

Thursday 20 October 2011 16:03

Well what a nice friend you have

Comments

jalapeno64 10

Friday 21 October 2011 6:58

Why didn't you just buy another one?

chosha_fml 26

Friday 21 October 2011 7:04

I think 'best friend' should be in inverted commas as well as 'lost'.

satph 12

Friday 21 October 2011 7:31

nice 'best friend'.

j_cat187 19

Friday 21 October 2011 8:05

I had the same thing happen with a longboard. I had to walk to school and work and I didn't have the money for the bus. When I came to pick up my board, It was on the lawn with the nose sheared off.

tehslack 5

Friday 21 October 2011 9:03

Years ago, my now ex-"best" friend stole the football captains jacket from our high school. I asked her about it and she said she didn't have it. Then I pulled it out of her closet. Crazy bitch.

laden_swallow09 34

Friday 21 October 2011 16:24

Great! Now you can steal it back! :)

abceasyas123abc 12

Friday 21 October 2011 17:39

Was this some sort of a prank? Maybe some of your friends thought it would be funny to make you freak out about your bike and take public transport to work? I don't really know why but bike riders in Sydney (I'm assuming you're from Sydney?) have a bit of a rep for being wankers..

False_Stupidity 41

Friday 21 October 2011 22:40

They just get upset when the idiot drivers try to run them off the road all the time.

jellyD 1

Friday 21 October 2011 21:37

Wuss

stevenmx86 7

Sunday 15 April 2012 20:39

Why would you catch buses? With the money you probably spent over those 2 months on bus fare you probably could've bought another bike...

doglover100 28

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:24

Awesome friend you have.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, the self-checkout machine at the grocery store kept yelling, “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA” while I frantically tried to scan everything. An employee came over and said a bit too loudly, “Ma’am, you have to scan the condoms before bagging them.” Of course there were people around to giggle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 426

Today, I got called a racist because I refused to sell a woman a bunch of rather large 4-inch goldfish for a 10-gallon aquarium. These fish get 10 inches long and she wanted 20 of them. Essentially, she screamed at me for a half-hour, asking to speak to my manager. I'm the manager. She called corporate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 858

You deserved it 133

Today, I was hanging with friends up at my best friend's cabin. We were in his hot tub cracking jokes when he told one that sent me into a fit of hysterics. He tried to shut me up by splashing water on me. It worked, because when I jerked my head to the side, I dislocated a rib. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 669

You deserved it 226

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 674

You deserved it 16 128

Today, I tried to pick up two girls by asking them what time it was. They burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 938

You deserved it 55 145

Today, my sister announced her engagement to my ex-boyfriend, who she’d stolen from me. She got upset that I told her I’m not attending her wedding, nor congratulating her. Since she’s “Christian” her logic is “What God joined together, let no man separate.” Yeah, right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 142