Kids, Pregnancy and Family: He gets around - FML

He gets around

By Anonymous - 14/09/2026 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out I'm going to have a sister. Who’s the mom gonna be? It’s my cousin from my mom’s side. My dad’s excuse? "Well, she ain’t blood related." FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 40

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Top comments

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Monday 14 September 2026 22:10

Not that this wouldn't make it any less nauseating than it already is, but please tell me your parents are divorced.

tiptoppc 19

Tuesday 15 September 2026 8:30

What is with all those banjo tunes lately. My dad’s from Louisiana and even I haven’t seen that much genetic tree spooning as I have seen on here lately. And that’s saying something coming from a family of complete rednecks myself!

Comments

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Monday 14 September 2026 22:10

Not that this wouldn't make it any less nauseating than it already is, but please tell me your parents are divorced.

tiptoppc 19

Tuesday 15 September 2026 8:30

What is with all those banjo tunes lately. My dad’s from Louisiana and even I haven’t seen that much genetic tree spooning as I have seen on here lately. And that’s saying something coming from a family of complete rednecks myself!

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The Top

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room… where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 048

You deserved it 75 595

Today, I found out that my husband secretly DNA-tested all of our kids after they were born. Obviously they're his, but I'm incredibly hurt at his lack of trust and I'm thinking about divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 135

Random

Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out, "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by, "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 622

You deserved it 5 745

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 024

You deserved it 2 715

Today, I knocked an old-school slide carousel off my desk, scattering nearly 100 individual slides everywhere, including the specific slides my professor asked me to digitally scan, which were placed carefully on top. None of them are numbered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 024

You deserved it 5 936

Today, I tried explaining to my mom how liking her own posts on Facebook wasn't very cool. I later logged in to see she'd added all my friends and posted naked baby pictures of me, captioning them, "Now I don't have to like my own posts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 552

You deserved it 13 752

Today, I invited my boyfriend to his first dinner out with my family. As my older brother was discussing the injuries he'd received while working as a tow truck driver, my innocent 10 year old brother piped up saying he should see what I did to my boyfriend's back with my nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 258

You deserved it 5 412

Today, after I took up a job to design a website for a company, I had everything done… but they went with someone else. Their boss's nephew made a site that looks like it was pulled from late '90s GeoCities site, and is full of spelling errors and broken links. They paid him $5000 for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 105