Awkward, Airplanes Transportation Get me out of here

Get me out of here

IamHM - 19/07/2016 18:36 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Have a nice trip!

whatsmccraken - 10/09/2009 12:37 - Taiwan

Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML

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planes - 30/12/2009 06:27 - United States

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML

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Get me out

Anonymous - 21/03/2011 18:36 - United States

Today, I'm on a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML

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hatesmellyfeet - 20/01/2010 13:47 - United States

Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML

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Turbulence

Anonymous - 24/02/2021 21:30

Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML

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pzy - 24/10/2016 15:46

Today, I'm in the middle seat on a flight to Dallas. The guy on the aisle is sleeping with his mouth open and I can smell his breath. I feel nauseous. FML

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crapgirl - 18/04/2009 23:11 - United States

Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML

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First time?

ajdown - 17/06/2011 20:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I have an eight hour transatlantic flight and the person sitting next to me has already filled his third sick bag. This wouldn't be quite so bad were we not still at the terminal with passengers still boarding the plane. FML

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millzee - 17/01/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I spent 6 hours on an airplane next to an alcoholic Pink Floyd fanatic. I must've drifted off because when I took a trip to the bathroom I noticed that my pant leg that had been closest to the drunk man was soaking wet. I returned to my seat. He was on his side, facing me. I smelt the wet spot. Not beer. FML

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Unflattered

lindsay - 28/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML

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klutzyduck1 24

Wednesday 20 July 2016 10:35

Why would anyone trade with you, really? I sympathize with you, having to sit there for so long. However, no one in their right mind would willing sacrifice themselves to it either.

doemetoch 28

Wednesday 20 July 2016 10:47

Can't the two friends at least sit together, without having you in between them? That's just rude, forcing a stranger to be in the middle of their jokes and conversations.

Casual_Cthulhu 12

Wednesday 20 July 2016 19:32

What does a laughing moose sound like?

Gazerman100 13

Thursday 21 July 2016 0:08

Clearly the only logical solution is to jump out of the plane

KaylaTackett 18

Thursday 21 July 2016 2:07

You'd think it would be common sense to shower before getting on such a long packed flight. And blaming you for his nasty ass farts?? I would have complained. Sorry OP. Hopefully he and his friend weren't like that for the whole flight.

nonamebranding 12

Thursday 21 July 2016 6:50

I wouldn't trade you either

Phats 10

Thursday 21 July 2016 9:27

I once traded my seat on an 11 hour flight, so two friends could sit together and quit talking across me. The new seat was narrower than my original aisle one and next to a guy who pretty much overflowed from his seat onto mine. I won't do that again.