Kids: **** off - FML

**** off

By Insomniac - 02/02/2012 07:07 - United States

Today, I finally got my stubborn toddler to take an afternoon nap after an hour and a half of wrestling with her. Ten minutes later, a UPS package arrived at my door. The UPS man decided it would be a good idea to ring my doorbell repeatedly in rapid-fire sequence as he was walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 253

You deserved it 2 939

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Same thing different taste

Why now?

By Anonymous - 14/10/2023 15:00 - United States - Lufkin

Today, it took me 2 hours to get my toddler to sleep. Just after I got him down, my mom woke him up by banging my pots and pans around in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 127

By Millar - 24/10/2018 00:30 - Australia - Carlton North

Today, I witnessed a postal worker with an important parcel stopping before knocking on my door, shrugging, getting back in his van, and driving away. I couldn't get the door open quickly enough before he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 915

You deserved it 183

Gimme my stuff

By siciliano12594 - 12/11/2012 18:40 - United States - Harrison

Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 159

You deserved it 1 959

By finalyearsofhate - 13/03/2017 22:00

Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 313

You deserved it 565

By yrfavweapon - 02/07/2010 19:29 - United States

Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 544

You deserved it 3 880

CPS!

By jasminejzhu - 14/04/2013 09:58 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 049

You deserved it 11 687

Looking good

By Alex - 31/07/2024 16:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was expecting a package from Amazon, so when the doorbell rang I rushed out in my pajamas. It wasn't the delivery guy. It was my ex and her new boyfriend, here to drop off some of my old stuff. I'd answered the door wearing an anime onesie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 540

What was in the box?

By Anonymous - 29/09/2024 22:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 162

Hushhhh

By Anonymous - 15/07/2016 16:14 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 786

You deserved it 3 110

By mediocreboobs - 18/02/2009 22:31 - United States

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 469

You deserved it 8 900

Next

Top comments

Buttsexpirate 9

Thursday 2 February 2012 12:08

UPS delivery men just want to watch the world burn I swear.

Fangsnuzzles 8

Thursday 2 February 2012 12:07

You should put up a sign at your door asking people not to knock so loud, or not to ring the doorbell.

Comments

jedouril 15

Thursday 11 April 2013 1:25

UPS guys can be dicks. I've had them purposely agitate my dog when he's outside as their leaving.

legendof90 14

Saturday 23 January 2016 16:16

Report him is all i can think of

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Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 023

You deserved it 3 079

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. We are on a cruise together. She has already found another room to sleep in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 829

You deserved it 3 569

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 576

You deserved it 36 926

Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 657

You deserved it 3 650

Today, while playing golf on a local course, my idiot of a friend decided to push his pushcart down a massive hill towards me. When he realized that I was going to be hit, he screamed for me to move, but it was too late. I collapsed to the ground in pain, all while he chuckled about the situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 122

Today, my girlfriend suggested we try something new and spontaneous. Excited to find out first-hand what she had in mind, and ready to fool around, I hurried over to her place. Turns out she's just taken up vegan cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 820

You deserved it 6 663