Scams and Money: For whom the bell tolls - FML

For whom the bell tolls

By Christina - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 881

You deserved it 50 534

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Same thing different taste

So close…

By barman - 17/07/2010 20:51 - Australia

Today, while working at the bar, I was having a flawless night. Every pour was perfect, every shot expertly measured. I saw my manager for the first time that night, turned to greet him, and knocked over a tray of 30 or so glasses. Only two remained unbroken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 824

You deserved it 5 362

By darn it. - 20/02/2009 16:16 - United States

Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 067

You deserved it 4 161

It's on me

By doubledown - 04/06/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I went to the bar I go to every week. My favorite bartender told me I owed $50 for a tab because the waiter screwed up and undercharged me. The tab was from when my friends bought me drinks to cheer me up because my girlfriend moved away. I ended up paying for my own drinks, plus theirs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 458

You deserved it 3 470

No buyers

By Kai Curtis - 17/01/2023 18:00 - United States - Exton

Today, I went to the bar because, I like to go to the bar every Saturday, but wearing a wedding ring so people wouldn't hit on me. But when I went this time, I forgot my ring and people still didn’t hit on me. So now I know it has nothing to do with the ring at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 1 033

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, it's my birthday and my friends and I went to our favorite pub to celebrate. As I'm a little broke at the moment, they all offered to buy me birthday drinks. Which I later learned meant that they would order them for me and bring them to the table, but put everything on my tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 575

You deserved it 2 932

By halien1982 - 03/01/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was sitting at the bar of a popular local restaurant. I sat there for a few hours and drank my sorrows away with the bartender. I thought she was pretty, and decided to give her a large tip. The tip sent me over my credit card limit, and the bartender is not single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 433

You deserved it 35 458

By Anonymous - 15/10/2013 00:14 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my friend texted me from a bar, saying they had just called my name in a raffle to win a trip to Aspen, CO. You had to be at the bar to claim the prize. I had left the bar half-an-hour earlier, not knowing they were even having a raffle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 698

You deserved it 4 444

By Colleen - 18/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I bought a party bowl of Bud Light for a get-together. Around midnight, I realized that I didn't have the tap to get the beer out. Fifty-five cans of untappable beer and no more beer money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 759

You deserved it 22 629

Gassy in 4/4

By nomwar - 17/06/2013 13:55 - United States

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy, so I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know, the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off, all eyes turned to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 137

You deserved it 14 904

By frenchy - 06/02/2009 00:55 - United States

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 129

You deserved it 55 474

Next

Top comments

thatssomeBS 9

Monday 5 December 2011 11:37

Never ring a bell without knowing the consequences. Especially at a bar.

Naitras 15

Monday 5 December 2011 11:38

That is a really good policy. Great for business

Comments

AvikC818 8

Monday 5 December 2011 15:08

I wish I was at the bar when you did that

jkick 1

Monday 5 December 2011 15:14

Was it at the devils gap in banff?

hedgehog80 0

Monday 5 December 2011 15:22

It could have been worse.... It could have been a rape bell.

OctoberRainfall 13

Monday 5 December 2011 17:15

Why on earth would a bar have a rape bell?????

cheefer 0

Monday 5 December 2011 19:08

Hello, because the ugly people at bars need sex too!

desireev 17

Saturday 10 December 2011 15:24

I have never rolled my eyes so hard before!! That is the most stupid thing I've ever seen before! Just insert foot in mouth!! Save us all am earache!!!

Kornlover 9

Monday 5 December 2011 15:56

At least you made a lot more new friends.

compasseagle89 8

Monday 5 December 2011 16:15

it appears humans don't outgrow the exploring stage. babies stick things in their mouths, adults ring bells in bars.

xHuey123 0

Monday 5 December 2011 17:03

@48 I died laughing when I read that

rillastyle 1

Monday 5 December 2011 17:06

Don't turn you beer glass upside down Your telling the bar "I'll fight any commers"

Heeeerroin 5

Monday 5 December 2011 17:10

Next time I go to a bar and there's a bell, I'm gonna tell the guy next to me to ring the bell for strippers to come out. Sounds legit.

slyace 9

Monday 5 December 2011 17:43

Sounds like fun. There should be more stripper bells in the world. In bars, nightclubs, and parole offices

bramberkhout 10

Monday 5 December 2011 17:43

Hahaha welcome into adulthood OP!

punchline_fml 5

Monday 5 December 2011 17:50

Bet you were popular the rest of the night!

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Keywords

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The Top

The Top

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 451

You deserved it 8 750

Today, I was helping my dad move into his new house. It's a 4-bedroom house and he has three kids so it's perfect. I was wandering around and noticed that the first bedroom is his, the second is my older brother's, the third is my younger sister's, and the fourth is an office. I have no room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 999

You deserved it 3 341

Today, my mom dropped me off at a friend's house. Upon leaving, my friend's mom said how much I looked like my mother. My mother then replied, "That's funny, she was adopted." This was the first I'd heard of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 395

You deserved it 151

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 178

You deserved it 4 220

Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 648

You deserved it 6 217

Today, I was having a heated argument with my boyfriend over the phone. Mid-sentence, I yelled, “You never listen to me!” Alexa, from across the room, replied, “I’m listening.” My boyfriend started laughing so hard that he hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 309