Today, I dropped my hair straightener. The good news is I caught it. The bad news is I caught it by the iron itself. FML
Today, I took a shower and went to put clothes on after, only to find no clothes in my closet. My mom took them all and hid them. No idea why. No idea when I will get them back. FML
Today, I found out why my cups of tea have been tasting a bit funny. It turns out my kettle is full of ants, so every time I boil water to make tea, the ants get re-boiled along with it. FML
Today, I was at a very important music competition. When we'd rehearsed the song in question, the conductor said we were to repeat the last four bars of the song three times. As I went to play the third time, the whole orchestra stopped playing. I kept playing by accident and we came in third because of my mistake. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years finally agreed to marry me. As I went on with the proposal, her Grandma tried rejecting me by saying, "These guys have gangster friends." FML
Today, we had a surprise test at school. I was totally unprepared for any of it, so I BSd the whole thing and turned it in. A few minutes later, our teacher said we were allowed to use our notes to finish the test. FML
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Snapp...that hurts. 27... pull up your pants.
I agree her pants looks like they belong to her little sister