After too many family dinners By Lewis - 28/12/2018 00:30 - France - Paris I'm not fat! Just well prepared for winter... I agree, your life sucks 282 You deserved it 137 Share Tweet Share
Today, it's been so long since my fiancé and I have had sex I now apparently have dreams about all-night unprotected screwing marathons with George Bush. FML I agree, your life sucks 10 338 You deserved it 1 456
Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 012 You deserved it 2 753
Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 700 You deserved it 41 226
Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML I agree, your life sucks 11 544 You deserved it 33 715
Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML I agree, your life sucks 20 741 You deserved it 93 586
Today, I was joking to mom that at the rate I’m going I’ll have to start an OnlyFans to afford college next year. She shrugged like it was nothing because apparently prostitution got her through college and bought her her first house before she accidentally got pregnant with me. Um, WHAT? FML I agree, your life sucks 609 You deserved it 288