Neighbours

Welcome…

By Brenden - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Massillon

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 982

You deserved it 7 318

Karen has concerns

By go away karen! - 29/01/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I had to call the cops on my batshit crazy neighbor, who’s repeatedly threatened to steal my dog. I finally got her ass on camera. She swears that my dog is being abused because it prefers to sleep outside instead of being in the house. Imagine that, an animal that likes being outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 148

Welcome to the neighborhood

By Anonymous - 31/07/2022 04:00

Today, I went to tell my neighbour I was sure his son had been taking pictures of me from his window. He laughed in my face, then assured me no one on planet earth could possibly want photos of my fat ass and double chin, then shut the door in my face, still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 317

Witty, but still…

By Bad neighbor - 20/07/2026 22:00 - Canada - Brockville

Today, I helped my neighbor carry her groceries upstairs. One egg carton slipped from my hand and exploded in the sink. She stared at the mess, then at me, and said, “That's my omelet down the drain.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 108

Home invasion

By Anonymous - 26/07/2023 00:02

Today, I found my neighbours bratty kid in my house, eating my snacks, dirtying my sofa, and drawing on pages torn from my books. I marched him back home by the ear, him screaming I was a meanie, and his mother's only excuse was, “Boys will be boys.” No apology or anything. I HATE KIDS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 223

You deserved it 152

Smoke 'em if you've got 'em

By Dumbweed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 344

You deserved it 68 201

Retaliation

By LawnmowerGuy - 22/06/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, my assmunch neighbor snitched on me and told my wife I was bringing my girlfriend home to sleep over while she worked her job during the graveyard shift. All because I’d forgotten to return his lawnmower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 4 681

My eyes!

By Anonymous - 30/11/2022 18:00

Today, I saw my neighbors having sex. They’re not great looking and bang like pornstars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 863

Gentry

By Hannay - 13/08/2026 20:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I bought a somewhat rundown house and started working on restoring it, cutting the grass, and doing exterior work. People from the neighborhood have asked me to stop, saying I'm "gentrifying" and "erasing the neighborhood character." I wasn't aware neglect and graffiti counted as character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 68

Keep it down

By Rusty - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - New City

Today, I'm actually starting to miss my former heroin addict neighbor because of how mellow he was compared to my new neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 201

You deserved it 2 585

For Those About to Rock…

By ljajjanaa - 04/04/2021 11:00

Today, I had to politely request that my floormate not blast heavy metal music at 4 a.m. His response? "It’s the weekend," followed by him slamming the door in my face and turning the music up. I work weekends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 105

By Anonymous - 05/03/2015 02:05

Today, my neighbor at my apartment building told me water from my sink was leaking into his apartment. He told me to call maintenance to fix it, but they won't help unless he calls. He refuses to, and I can't do my dishes without feeling like an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 361

You deserved it 3 038

No more yodelling

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 00:00

Today, I was singing in the shower and my neighbor called the police because they thought I was in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 241

Pest control

By sigh - 13/04/2016 02:10 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my new neighbor offered to "humanely capture and relocate" the squirrels in my attic. He then "humanely" shot at them with a BB gun, and the "relocated" them into his stomach once they were killed. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 830

You deserved it 2 541

Pipe down

By Hotdogwater - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, my neighbour put in a noise complaint against me for being loud at midnight. I was having a coughing fit and couldn't breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 338

You deserved it 427

Oddly specific gift

By Anonymous - 27/07/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I gave a housewarming gift to my new neighbor, a cookbook titled "Quick and Easy Meals for the Busy Bachelor." He thanked me awkwardly and later mentioned that he and his husband have been married for ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 705

Cursed buildings

By investing in earplugs - 23/02/2022 05:59

Today, sick of the unfiltered noise we hear from our neighbours in our upstairs apartment, as we're above their fence line, we signed the lease on an apartment downstairs. While I was downstairs, my partner clomped upstairs, opened the bathroom door, and took a piss. I heard EVERYTHING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 344

Snared

By drummerboy - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I practiced my drum playing in the garage instead of my room out of consideration for my neighbors. Guess the consideration wasn't mutual, because one of my neighbors just shot a hole in one of my drums with an air gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 865

You deserved it 2 245

That 20%

By MI3 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Oakland

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 919

You deserved it 2 390

Stop trying to make fetch happen

By Frankie - 24/02/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I thought it would be cute to teach my dog a new trick in which I throw and then he brings me back a rolled up newspaper. He disappeared after it, then successfully returned with what turned out to be my neighbor's dirty boxer shorts. Apparently, my dog has a different definition of "fetch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 158

Get off my lawn!

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 14:00

Today, I found out that when my neighbors throw a party, it includes guests having sex in my garage, and relieving themselves on my lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 274

You deserved it 110

By fml9124 - 19/02/2021 19:58

Today, my neighbor yelled at me because her two kids got into my pool. They scaled a two-meter wall to get to my backyard. They used a tree in her yard that hangs over the wall. I guess I could install razor wire on top of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 63

Peace and quiet

By Julie - 31/08/2026 12:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, it's the second night in a row when I thought, "I really need to catch up on my sleep deficit!" and instead had an even shittier night than the one before. My neighbours just started a party right under my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 63

I'm so bored

By Anonymous - 11/02/2022 10:00

Today, I’ve worked out that my neighbour is cheating. Her husband leaves at 7, another guy arrives at 9, vigorous sex noises last for an hour, then the guy leaves. It’s come to this has it, I’m so bored since losing my job that I’ve become a nosy neighbour lady. Why won’t anyone hire me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 255

Karen of the day

By Anonymous - 21/11/2024 12:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my ultra-Christian neighbor called the cops on me (again). This time, it was because she could smell "weed" coming from my apartment. I was burning sage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 117

Creepy guy

By iamnotalawyer - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Glendale

Today, I found out that when people in my apartment complex warn their kids about strangers, they use me as the example. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 290

You deserved it 4 251

Farmville

By unwilling redneck - 24/05/2013 22:48 - United States

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 538

You deserved it 4 605

Please leave

By Yada yada yada - 28/08/2024 22:00 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow some tools. Trying to be friendly, I asked how he was doing. He then spent the next 45 minutes describing his recent breakup in excruciating detail. I just wanted him to take the tools and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 172

By OperaLover - 12/09/2011 19:00 - United States

Today, I learned that the building I just moved into contains both a drummer and an opera singer. Both are very dedicated to their craft, and practice frequently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 159

You deserved it 3 468

USA! USA! USA!

By Not like that - 20/06/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I called the cops on the house next to me, since they constantly make tons of noise and throw trash in my yard. Turns out they're all undocumented migrants, and now three families with little kids are getting deported. I feel like scum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 329

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Random

Today, I woke up to the sounds of fire alarms. Panicked and assuming it was my neighbor's gas furnace that set it off, I nearly broke their baby's bedroom window trying to wake them up. Turns out my roof leaked into the fire alarm, causing an electrical fire. It was my first day here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 880

You deserved it 2 356

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 4 perfectly happy years together. The reason? He had a dream in which his dead former girlfriend from when he was 13 told him she still loved him. He now believes his dead childhood sweetheart is trying to contact him and I'm "in the way of their love." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 571

You deserved it 4 622

Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 396

You deserved it 81 729

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 148

You deserved it 7 167

Today, I overheard my parents arguing over who had to tell me that I'm adopted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 441

You deserved it 345

Today, I tried to get the day off because of snow and ice on the roads, which had already caused 2 accidents close to my house. My boss just called me a useless millennial, fired me, and hung up the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 355

You deserved it 1 308