Mysterious

Thanks!

By Yuri - 29/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 401

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 28/03/2023 10:00 - United States - Leawood

Today, I finally shared some of my insecurities and difficulties I’m experiencing with a close friend. The response was great, they listened, and gave advice. Later I met another friend, who said that they’re here for me. Everyone was just trying to help, but now almost everyone I know knows. I feel worse than before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 199

Hairy situation

By Bleh - 12/11/2022 18:00

Today, I woke up with a mouthful of cat hair. I don't have any recollection of how this could've happened. My most plausible idea is that my cat shoved his face in my mouth while I was asleep. But how did I not wake up from that? Maybe when I'm done pulling all the hairs out of my mouth, I can think about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 190

Secretive

By whattheHellman - 23/10/2022 00:00 - Australia - Traralgon

Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 132

Suspicious Minds

By Anonymous - 03/08/2021 16:01

Today, I finally found out why my wife always told me to never visit her at work. You see, my wife and I are dark haired with blue/brown eyes and our daughter is blonde with very striking emerald green eyes. You know who else is blonde with striking emerald eyes? My wife’s boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 126

Paws for thought

By James - 16/01/2012 04:17 - Australia

Today, my front house window was smashed. A note was left, saying, "I want my cat back." I have no idea what they are talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 538

You deserved it 2 301

The plot thickens

By Anonymous - 20/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I did laundry and found one lone sock in the washer. Thinking I was done, I left it there and put the rest in the dryer. When I pulled out the clothes, the sock was missing. It was in the dryer all along, but I couldn’t find its partner anywhere. A sock black hole struck again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 108

Mysterious

By Anonymous - 29/03/2023 22:00

Today, I woke up with severe back pain and about $100 missing from my paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 160

Manifesto?

By Anonymous - 04/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, I woke up to news that a document had been made about me and about 50% of my friends left me behind after reading it. None of the alleged acts are true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 99

Uneasy feeling

By Anonymous - 02/10/2022 12:30 - United States - Grafton

Today, and for a while, I’ve noticed one of my closest friends getting a little to friendly with my boyfriend. Maybe I’m just reading too far into it, but then again maybe I’m not? I really want to be wrong about this and I’m pretty sure he would never hurt me, but I’m scared something’s going on that I don’t know about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 298

What did you ACTUALLY do?

By Anonymous - 23/06/2026 15:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I got dumped, so I was sad. I was so unpopular in my friend group that everyone but two people "sided with my ex" in their words; the other two "didn't side." I'd told my ex that I hated her, so I asked my friend to tell her I'm sorry, my ex-friend then replied with death threats. Like WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 395

Maybe next time

By Anonymous - 11/06/2022 04:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I received a message saying that tomorrow's plans are cancelled. I spent the whole week preparing for it, and now because of ONE person who isn't able to make it, all my efforts are gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 104

Wait, what?

By Bradley Earl - 01/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Lansing

Today, my girlfriend was a mystic and I'd told her not to use FML because it seemed negative. I think it feels controlling and I don't want that. I also deleted a file that was about fear of her husband dying because she lost her dad. I wish I could go back and be on FML too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 476

Mystery person

By How - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I received a letter from my apartment complex saying I have an unauthorized tenant living with me. I must provide proof they don't live with me in the next 72 hours or I get kicked out. Nobody lives with me, and I don't know how to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 161

You deserved it 261

Out of the blue

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 12:00 - United States - Oxford

Today, on my last day of vacation with my family, and after moving my kid back home after their college graduation, I received a text message from my supervisor that said, “Hello, your services are no longer needed" and that they would pack up my desk and mail it to me. I can’t get anyone to explain why or even answer me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 98

Not so close

By WorriedGF - 21/02/2023 16:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 3 years has a 'Close Friends' restriction on his Instagram stories. I’m not included in that restriction. Upon asking about it during dinner, he knocked stuff off the table, told me to “stop worrying about petty shit so much,” and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 197

Missed that part of training, eh?

By I DID NOT KNOW - 09/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I found a mysterious button under my desk at work and pressed it out of curiosity. It was the emergency panic alarm. Within five minutes, security, my manager, and then two confused police officers were asking if I was OK. I just wanted to know what the button did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 532

Truth bomb

By Anonymous - 15/12/2022 00:00

Today, 98 year-old mom with dementia thought she was talking to one of my dead sisters and not my wife, telling her she'd better never tell me who my real father really, that I ruined her marriage. She won't have me ruining her reputation, so her getting pregnant with me from an affair was my fault apparently. None of my siblings ever told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 414

You deserved it 146

Whispering wind

By dabull - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, nobody wants to hang out with me due to a nasty rumor that my ex has spread. No one will tell me what was said, because I apparently "know full well" what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 726

You deserved it 4 116

A whole mess

By Anonymous - 25/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I parked at the airport and rushed inside. TSA pulled me into a back room for screening, including a rectal exam, then let me go, but I missed my flight. Back at my car, there was a note on the windshield: “I know what you did, John. Lock your doors next time.” (My name isn't John) and I found a pile of shit on my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 104

Casual sexism

By QueenofMean2U - 21/01/2023 14:00 - United States - Freeport

Today, we found out someone got fired, and someone who was supposed to get fired, did not. I wonder if the boss is sleeping with employees, because all the men always get fired, but a few of the women haven't, and one cannot account for $30,000 in missing parts. I'm too old to finesse the boss like the thots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 149

Mystery text

By Anonymous - 26/05/2022 15:59

Today, my son sent me a very frank text telling me my husband is no longer welcome at his house, because, “He knows what he did, if you want to know then ask him.” This isn’t going to be good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 158

In the doghouse

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 16:00

Today, my toddler started running around the house yelling, "Daddy said a bad word!" over and over again. I don't even know what I allegedly said, but now my wife is giving me the "we need to talk" look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 101

What was in the box?

By Anonymous - 29/09/2024 22:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 163

Database corrupted

By Anonymous - 16/12/2023 12:00 - Australia - Wacol

Today, after almost two months, I almost finished sorting through my boyfriend's Magic: The Gathering cards. He has been collecting them for 10 years and never bothered to keep them organised. The box of Mythic Rare cards that I was saving till last is missing. I remember exactly where it was, and no one has seen it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 181

Mysterious

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 12:00 - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, my wife lied to me three times, saying she was at work but in reality she was home the whole day. Every time I ask her about it, she says she's not in the mood to talk. And says a lot of "I don't knows…" Almost like she has something to hide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 150

The real housewives of FML

By NotInMyClick - 02/05/2024 09:00 - United States - Glide

Today, a girl I despise from our group of best girlfriends, who just moved in with another, has showed her true colors. I smelled her bipolar disorder in our group interactions and took a step back, but was afraid to say something to the two other girls like, hey, she's unstable. Now she thinks she's in the group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 637

Mysterious girl

By Anonymous - 31/10/2021 11:00

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. It was our anniversary just 3 nights ago, and she said she was sorry for leading me on. She still hasn’t told me why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 93

Demon spawn

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 06:00

Today, my son's head teacher yelled down the phone at me, “I’m sorry but this is the last straw, Take him home now or I’m calling the police to remove him.” He’s 9 and this will be his sixth expulsion in 4 years, and we have no idea what caused this behaviour. He behaved just fine up to 4 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 442

Mean girls

By ToxicFriends - 26/05/2025 20:00 - Germany

Today, a mama from my daughter's class has been talking nicely with me, and we've been friends for the past year, going to the playground and library together regularly. Now, all of a sudden, she has stopped talking or going out with us for no reason. I don't know if my daughter and I are both back in school now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 88

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was out shooting pigeons with my brother. I decided to climb a tree to get a better view of where they were flying in from. As I perched on a branch and surveyed the skies, my idiot brother mistook me for a pigeon and shot me in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 3 503

Today, I woke up and texted my girlfriend, "Good morning" like I do everyday. She responded with, "I'm dating somebody else". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 443

You deserved it 2 254

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 215

You deserved it 3 377

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 575

You deserved it 14 708

Today, my college professor/employer failed to send in a letter I had been counting on for a scholarship application. He has also decided not to pay me for the last two months. I'm not going to make rent. Apparently this is the punishment you get for politely declining a date with a married man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 003

You deserved it 2 923

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 345