My ex

Rubbing it in

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got an invitation to my ex-boyfriend's wedding. We broke up because he "didn't believe in marriage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 896

You deserved it 4 873

Money money money

By Anonymous - 26/04/2023 00:00

Today, my lovely ex-mother-in-law died and now my ex has stopped talking to me. I found out through a mutual friend that we only had an amicable divorce in case his mother had left me money in her will, but now he’s got all her money, he didn’t even take time to invite me to the funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 160

Troublemaker

By adult now - 23/04/2023 03:00

Today, my fiancé said he’s now having second thoughts about us getting married, all because my ex contacted him and told him that our relationship had ended because I'd cheated on him. I was literally 15 years-old and I didn’t even have sex, I just made out with another boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 396

Smooth

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 563

Divorced dad energy

By Anonymous - 14/04/2023 16:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I had to purchase an app to communicate with my ex-wife. She's too stupid to figure out how to unblock me in Hotmail so we can coordinate kid schedules. She is a control freak and regularly blocks/unblocks me depending on the time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 232

Sounds lovely

By Anonymous - 09/04/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, at our kid's extracurricular, my ex, with whom I have been fighting for our child for ten years, casually admitted that his preferred murder weapon is an axe. This is surprisingly in character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 166

It's been a while…

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 14:00

Today, I calculated how long it’s been since I had a partner. Works out to 7 years officially and 11 years unofficially. However, if you count the fact that my deadbeat ex wasn’t ever really present in the marriage, then I’ve been single all my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 160

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 04/04/2023 10:00 - Australia

Today, I was dating someone who completely believed cyborgs killed his family, although they are very much alive. He also faked having relationships a couple of times, and last but not least he pretended to be someone else he was stalking in real life for 3 years. I only found this out after I broke up with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 141

Stinked out

By can’t prove it - 31/03/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, my ex dumped a couple cans of smoked oysters, tuna, and canned salmon down the vent to my floor heater. She won’t admit to it, just smirked when I confronted her. I have no way to prove she did it and my house smells so bad I can’t stand to be in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 127

Dodger

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 22:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I went to the grocery store and saw my ex with her new partner. I tried to hide from them, but ended up getting locked in the store after closing time. I had to call security to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 952

Stealthy

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 04:00

Today, I was on a date with a guy and we decided to go see a movie. As we were walking in, I saw my ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend. I tried to avoid them, but my left heel got caught in a crack in the pavement and I fell face-first onto the ground. My ex and his girlfriend saw me, laughed, and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 153

Dumbass move

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 00:00

Today, I stupidly liked a post on my ex's social media account from three years ago. They then texted me immediately to ask why I was stalking them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 1 041

It's not me, it's you

By What dont I have - 19/02/2023 04:00

Today, my ex-boyfriend is moving to my hometown so he can be closer to his new girlfriend, my best friend. To pour lemon juice in the wound, he'd told me just 4 months earlier that he would never move to my hometown, thus ending our long-distance relationship of 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 146

Threatening

By I hate my family - 11/02/2023 10:00

Today, my mom told me to be my sister’s maid of honor at her wedding or I’m out of her will. She says if I don’t go, I’m being selfish, and she wants to see her “baby girls” bonding one last time before she dies. I would gladly go if my sister wasn’t marrying my ex-husband, who cheated on me with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 513

You deserved it 130

Good riddance

By Anonymous - 05/02/2023 16:00

Today, after receiving yet again a dozen insulting texts, I realized that my dog has way better grammar than my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 166

Forever in our hearts

By Anonymous - 25/01/2023 13:00

Today, I asked my mom if she had some good pictures of me for my resume. She gave me her phone to look through her gallery. I found a beautiful album of photos of me and my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 198

Girls gone wild

By Anonymous - 22/01/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, the only girl who seems semi-interested in me is my ex-girlfriend, who bails out every time we make plans to meet up. I deserve to be treated better, but better wants nothing to do with me. Genuinely kind girls tell I'm too short, or assume I have ulterior motives. I hate hookups and dating in your twenties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 273

Like a house on fire

By Anonymous - 14/01/2023 22:00

Today, my current girlfriend and my ex-girlfriend met each other. I don’t know how but they’re currently both getting on splendidly, while being mad at me like I’m the enemy of all womankind and should be castrated without delay. I want to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 304

He's a keeper

By Anonymous - 11/01/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I got the news that my ex-boyfriend from two years ago died in a car crash. My fiancé found me crying in the living room when he came home from work. When he found out why I was inconsolable, he said, "Make sure you say hi to that abusive turd in hell for me, thanks for everything." He is now staying at a hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 1 640

I was the bullet in the relationship

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 10:00

Today, for the first time in two years, I met my ex-girlfriend. I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 370

Overlap

By Wolverine Morningstar - 02/01/2023 18:00

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend for the first time in two years with the guy she told me "not to worry about" and they were celebrating their 3-year anniversary together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 152

Keep him

By Anonymous - 26/12/2022 15:00

Today, the county jail called. My estranged husband is being released, after spending a quality, week-long visit for restraining order violations. Merry Christmas to me and the only peace I've felt in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 138

Jealous weirdo

By Veronica - 22/12/2022 21:00 - United States - Palm

Today, I was at work when my ex and his girlfriend came in. She went on to claim that I was excited when I saw him… but I was actually happy because my shift was ending in 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 148

My new BFF

By max - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my wife got a new best friend. It's my ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 259

You deserved it 4 550

I'm an empath

By Anonymous - 12/12/2022 09:00 - United Kingdom - Amersham

Today, my ex of three years wanted me to comfort him because his new girlfriend broke up with him as well. And what do I do? I help him, I don’t fucking know why, and now he won’t leave me alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 1 239

Grudge

By Anonymous - 11/12/2022 03:00

Today, I got spammed and bitched at by my ex-girlfriend from high school because she found out I didn't even have feelings for her. It was 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 311

Healthy parenting skills

By Ghost1986 - 10/12/2022 12:00 - Australia - Moonah

Today, my ex-wife tried to hit me up for money for a skip bin, because the kids' room was too messy. She then sent me a picture of the mess after I said no, then I retaliated by submitting a report to child services against her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 588

He's a keeper

By Anonymous - 07/12/2022 00:00

Today, I met my ex, who told me he had something very important to tell me. I thought he was about to tell me that his girlfriend is pregnant (a fact I already knew). He told me that he still loves me and he'd never stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 139

With friends like these…

By Anonymous - 19/11/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my ex hit me up out of the blue, so I texted our mutual friend to tell them what had happened. The friend then told my ex and he got mad, ending with him texting me, “Pop quiz: When’s the last time you took a shower?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 252

Timeshare

By Anonymous - 17/11/2022 02:00

Today, my ex, who I still live with, invited he’s best friend (a drama starter) and his new love interest over for dinner while I was at work. Now I’m outside, waiting for them both to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 345

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The Top

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 568

You deserved it 4 415

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 584

You deserved it 4 420

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the guy I liked how I felt by making him a mix CD. Confident, I gave it to him. After class, I went to the trash can to throw some paper away. I saw my mix CD in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 270

You deserved it 8 214

Today, I spent 65 dollars in cab fare and skipped half of my grade 12 classes, including a unit test, to see my girlfriend on our two year anniversary. I arrived just in time to see her kiss her other boyfriend of over a year good bye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 749

You deserved it 9 388

Today, my partner thought I was having an affair because I received a video call but declined it. It was from my daughter, and I declined it because I was already on a video call with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 101

Today, my 9 year-old son actually thought he could blackmail me for money and an Xbox with a very badly photoshopped picture of me in bed with Hermione from the Harry Potter films. My wife thinks this is hilarious, but I’m worried if he’s doing this at 9, what will he be doing at 18? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 539

You deserved it 249