Coworkers

Violence is never the answer

By Anonymous - 04/06/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my coworker warned me that if I made one more dad joke, she’d belt me with a frying pan. Alas, I did not believe her capable of such violence, which is why I now sit here with a bag of frozen peas pressed to the 3-inch lump on the back of my head. Plus she was sacked, so now I feel horribly guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 713

Highly relatable

By Rasta Pickles - 16/05/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, my boss insisted we need to "do team bonding" so the deal was we all go bowling. I couldn't give a shit if they live or die, so ended up telling them I had COVID, just so I couldn't attend. Stick me on a desert island on my own and I'm in Utopia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 668

Edgy

By Anonymous - 01/05/2023 10:00

Today, I made the mistake of telling my militant vegan coworker I have fond memories of hunting with my dad, which set her off like a tofu-powered grenade. If she doesn’t stop treating me like the devil, making snide comments, and other shit, I may have to go to HR about her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 257

Herbie Kirby

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 12:00

Today, I was literally taking care of my coworker's garbage. Piss was dumped on me as I lifted the Herbie Kirby to the larger dumpster. What the fuck, people? Don’t literally leave your waste for others to take care of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 130

Lick that corporate boot!

By leteeatinpeace - 18/04/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, one of my super obnoxious coworkers tried to snitch on me and record me for “being lazy” on the clock. I was sitting in my car, while eating trail mix ON MY BREAK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 114

Tough love

By OfficeHusband - 09/03/2023 03:00

Today, during the party for my last day at my old job, my office wife professed her love for me. We’re both married, we have no chemistry, and I’ve been dumping my work on her for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 1 093

Dude, WTF?

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 04:00 - Israel - Haifa

Today, a co-worker at the restaurant I work decided it'd be a good idea to kiss my neck while giving me a hug. After I told him the kiss was too much, he wouldn't leave me alone or let me work in peace. I had to ask my sup to kick him out, all the while the event triggered my PTSD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 136

FREEBIRD!

By Anonymous - 01/03/2023 18:00

Today, I was singing and drumming on the steering wheel in my car while stuck in traffic, only to realize the car next to me was full of my carpooling coworkers, all staring at me in disbelief. They spent the day at the office requesting songs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 222

Addams Family Values

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Saint Albans

Today, I overheard my co-workers referring to me as "Uncle Fester". This is apparently my nickname around the office, and has been for nearly three years. I had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 095

You deserved it 2 855

Let him cook

By Anonymous - 30/01/2023 12:00

Today, I realized that I've been using the wrong name for a coworker for the past 6 months. I just found out their real name when I saw their name tag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 758

For science

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 17:30

Today, two of my coworkers broke the dishwasher. They ran a fully cooked rotisserie chicken through it multiple times until the meat disintegrated off its bones, just to 'see what would happen'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 112

Work is a four letter word

By QueenofMean2U - 17/01/2023 00:00

Today, I realized my workplace has incompetent employees who should be fired, while others who made one mistake did get fired. Our boss does nothing about complaints, except tell the offender everything you said. This environment is toxic but it's a job. Never seen such backstabbing and cliques EVER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 168

Rumor mill

By Gerald - 16/01/2023 16:00

Today, I found out that a new coworker was spreading false rumours about me. I confronted her. and she basically ran to management and said I intimidated her even though other colleagues discredited her claims. She now continues spreading the rumours with her fake intimidation charges on top of it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 104

Work sucks, I know

By Anonymous - 01/01/2023 16:00 - Malaysia

Today, it's my second week of internship, I have like 8 more weeks to go and I'm dreading it. It's an office internship and I HATE being in office environments. The sounds of the phone ringing, doorbell dinging, loud typing, and fluorescent lights? Argh, I want to end myself! FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 938

Coworkers aren't friends

By KisstheChef - 28/12/2022 00:00

Today, in an act of friendship, I made chicken curry for a colleague and brought it to work. She looked excited and squealed, "Yum!" When leaving the office at 5pm, she told me she was "taking it to eat at home." But at 7pm, during my routine snooping around for snacks, I found the curry hidden behind a shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 303

No uggos

By Anonymous - 01/12/2022 15:00 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I walked into work and overheard three of my female coworkers talking and laughing about how ugly my face is, and how they’re sorry for whoever has to marry me. They went on to name the coworkers they actually would sleep with. I’m 25 and I've still never had a girlfriend. Thanks for the self-esteem boost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 234

You deserved it 124

In case you haven’t noticed, I'm weird. I’m a weirdo. I don't fit in

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Conover

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better I said that she looked small. She said, "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 130

You deserved it 40 967

You know who you are

By Anonymous - 18/11/2022 04:00

Today, the way some people just pry into others' life is annoying me. I have very little patience for nosy people who imply and make assumptions about you based on very little information, then air it all out in a work environment. The anger I felt towards you, my coworker, oh my god. I know he noticed and I don't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 365

Passing the buck

By Anonymous - 01/11/2022 00:00 - Thailand - Huai Khwang

Today my boss gathered us to discuss about empowerment, accountability and Objectives and Key Results. My colleague set her OKRs as, “to empower others to do my work for me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 132

Common issue

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after an argument with a coworker, I sent him, "Sorry about being such a jerk" in a reply to a mass email he'd sent. I accidentally hit 'Reply All'. I now have 32 "It's okay" messages in my inbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 049

You deserved it 32 792

Snitch

By Cerie - 06/10/2022 16:00

Today, I confronted my coworker, who I had a crush on, for lying to me. He’d told me he was gay when I asked him out. He’s now dating another coworker of mine who’s a woman. He took this up with my boss, and I was written up for “creating a hostile work environment.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 2 040

The Loneliness of a Tower Crane Driver

By Savy - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Phoenix

Today, I have a better relationship with the machinery I've given names to at work than my actual coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 561

You deserved it 994

The betrayal of it all

By Ih8Snitches - 23/09/2022 10:30 - United States

Today, I found out that no matter how friendly a coworker is to you, never vent to them about how the job "is a total shitjoint but pays good” and that the manager “sounds like Cyndi Lauper on crack.” Apparently a listening ear is also a running mouth. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 1 614

Sweet home…

By Redneck - 07/09/2022 07:30

Today, my coworkers won't believe I'm from Alabama. Apparently, "You're too smart and not racist enough… plus you have all your teeth, and you're not dating your cousin." Fuck these people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 326

Failing upwards

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 11:00 - United States - Clear Lake

Today, I found out the job I applied for in IT was offered to coworker. I'm going to school for it, she has no degree/desire/knowledge of it. She was my trainer, I literally worked beside her for 2.5 years, and kept saying, "I hope you get it, I'm not going to apply." It was offered 5 days ago, which I found out about from another coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 168

You OK, hun?

By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had diarrhea at work. While trying to be subtle about the noises, the woman in the stall next to me called me by name and asked if I was having trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 144

You deserved it 3 194

Backfired

By Anonymous - 25/08/2022 00:00

Today, it was a coworker's last day. Over the last 6 months, he has been talking smack about me because he assumed I'd ratted him out for a Facebook post, ranting about our place of employment. I decided to confront him after work to let him know that I didn't do it. He then reported me for harassment to all of my supervisors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 245

Don't hate the player, hate the game

By lovebug - 24/08/2022 10:00

Today, after a new coworker flirted heavily with me and made me fall in love with him quite badly, it has become obvious that he has no interest in me, and just did it for the game of it all. I'm hurt and still don't understand why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 231

That'll be 250 bucks

By Anonymous - 23/08/2022 12:00 - Belgium

Today, I'm again stuck with my colleague for another monologue off all her divorces, narcissistic mom, drunk father, sex-obsessed husband, autistic children, and her aggressive dog she had to put to sleep. I feel like I give her a 7-hour free therapy sessions, sucking all the life out of me instead of doing my real job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 139

You don't like the thumpa-thumpa music??

By worst birthday ever - 20/08/2022 16:00

Today, some people from work I don't know very well insisted on throwing me a surprise birthday party. They took me to a gay club. I'm straight, in a committed relationship, and suffer from horrible social anxiety and hypersensitive hearing. I would literally rather have been trapped in a burning building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 148

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I said to my significant other, "I think I'm a pretty good catch." She started laughing so heavily that tears came out of her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 228

Today, I have to wake up in 3 hours for work, the medicine that should've made me sleep 8 hours straight failed and I woke up an hour later, not being able to sleep anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 72

Today, five minutes before closing, a customer was taking a bike from the row while I helped someone else. The customer ended up pushing the whole row down and left instantly without even apologizing. It took me about an hour to pick up the bikes and check for damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 618

You deserved it 218

Today, I realized after I had already left my house that my skirt was inside out and backwards. I’d been walking around like that for two hours before a stranger in a supermarket politely told me. The worst part? I still had to finish my grocery shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 172

Today, I went home with my cute coworker. What started out as a little dirty talk and teasing ended with him admitting he was in a terrible emotional place, then sending me home in an Uber so he could sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 782

You deserved it 424

Today, I discovered that my contract start date is exactly 2 days outside of the furlough date. Meaning instead of taking 80% of my salary, I'm only getting 40% (thanks to the company). This would be fine if I hadn't just moved countries to get this job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 192