Childfree

Humblebragging much?

By Anonymous - 26/11/2023 16:00 - Sweden - Lidingoe

Today, I realized I have rejected at least five marriage offers and about the same number of women who've wanted to have my children. I have never been into kids or marriage, but all my girlfriends and some FWBs turn into marriage and kid crazy wannabe housewives after a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 869

Her body, her choice

By Anonymous - 08/01/2022 08:01

Today, my wife decided she wants to disregard our five-year plan to have kids, and is experimenting with the idea of having her tubes tied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 304

Get off my lawn!

By Anonymous - 08/04/2022 18:00

Today, some completely out of touch with reality woman told me I didn’t deserve my house I bought with my own money, because it’s a 4 bedroom yet I live alone, so I should give it to her unemployed ass and her 6 hungry children. She wouldn’t leave and stood in my garden fake crying for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 228

You deserved it 208

Dodged a bullet

By mama - 30/06/2019 07:09

Today, I went to the doctor's office after getting a positive pregnancy test. She did another one to confirm the result, which came back negative. My husband is wandering around with a great big smile on his face, because he isn't going to "have a rugrat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 053

You deserved it 432

Kids can be a dealbreaker

By Anonymous - 18/03/2022 12:00

Today, the new guy at work who’s been flirting with me outrageously found out I’m newly-divorced, with a baby daughter. He ghosted me so fast and started outrageously flirting with someone else in our office, who by the way he checked to make sure she doesn’t have kids first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 351

The talk

By Anonymous - 31/05/2023 06:00

Today, I asked my husband if we could start talking about kids. He said sure, so we talked about kids. Then I asked if we could maybe start trying to have kids, and he said, “Absolutely fucking not, are you mad? What’s wrong with you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 566

WTF dad?

By Anonymous - 01/01/2022 01:59

Today, my husband ranted about how children are awful, and parents who claim they love their kids are complete liars, and if everyone admitted that we hated our kids and resented them for existing, there’d be a lot more happy childless couples. We don’t even have kids for him to hate this much. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 246

Time for a conversation

By Anonymous - 25/07/2023 15:00

Today, after spending a great day with my nieces, I turned to my husband to ask him if maybe we should start trying to get pregnant like we both agreed we wanted to multiple times. Before the words even left my mouth he said, “God they were exhausting, thank God were not having kids.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 264

Different life goals

By Anonymous - 26/07/2022 05:00 - Israel - Jerusalem

Today, my boyfriend of almost 3 years told me he wants kids, specifically a biological child with me. When we started dating, I told him that I didn't want kids and he said the same, but now he's changed his mind. I haven't. I love him and will probably lose him because of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 224

Some things aren't obvious

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 04:00

Today, my now ex-girlfriend accused me of wasting a year of her life when I told her I seriously don’t want kids. We’ve never discussed kids until today, but I’ve always known I never wanted them. Apparently she does want them, so she considers our whole relationship as a waste of a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 1 084

It's not a phase, mom!

By gelly donut - 22/10/2023 20:00

Today, my parents disowned me because I told them I don’t want kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 142

Childfree confirmation ceremony

By Kathya Wilson - 01/08/2022 10:00

Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 319

No kidding

By huh? - 23/06/2020 05:02

Today, I was ecstatic that the pregnancy test I took was negative. I went to high-five my boyfriend as I told him the good news. Apparently, it’s monstrous, unladylike and weird for a woman to not want children. When I pointed out he doesn’t want kids either, he said, "That’s normal for guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 868

You deserved it 256

Adopt a different attitude

By Anonymous - 09/04/2022 22:00

Today, I have always been adamant on not wanting children ever, then I did a stupid thing, and now I’m now single and pregnant with twins at 22 years-old. My life is so fucking over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 1 665

But now…

By Anonymous - 05/09/2018 08:30 - United States - Sewell

Today, my mother-in-law insisted we go to a baby clothing store. When I reminded her that I don’t want children, she sat on the floor, crying, kicking and screaming. She then said I was denying her grandchildren because I hate her. Well, I didn’t… FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 816

You deserved it 212

Impasse

By Anonymous - 30/08/2023 04:00

Today, my wife and I have a perfect life together, nice house, nice cars, fun hobbies, fun holidays, love each other, lots of sex and so on. After 12 years of marital bliss, she wants to ruin all that by having a baby, and has even threatened divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 1 030

Change my mind

By Anonymous - 27/01/2022 01:59

Today, my wife and I had zero interest in being parents, so she's on the pill and I always wear a condom, but now, with my vasectomy less than a week away, she somehow got pregnant and decides she wants to keep it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 402

Surprise backfire

By No kids - 05/11/2022 07:00 - United States - Eagle Mountain

Today, after two years of dating and my boyfriend knowing I hate kids and don’t want any, he surprised me with his 4 year-old daughter, thinking I would change my mind. I immediately dumped him, leaving him at the mall we were shopping at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 093

You deserved it 818

The Pope thinks you're selfish

By Anonymous - 16/01/2022 23:01

Today, as part of my job, I had to watch a few 5 year-olds while their parents were busy with my manager. It only confirmed my choice to never have children, and yet my mother still insists I should have one, because once they exist and I love them, I’ll see how silly my choice to not have them is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 178

No kidding

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 18:41 - United States - Portland

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 945

You deserved it 10 875

Don't mention it again

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 12:00

Today, our daughter threatened to throw us out if her mom asked about having children again. My wife is completely unable to control herself, and lasted a full 30 seconds before trying to restart the baby conversation. We weren’t just thrown out, she soaked us with the hose all the way to our car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 2 029

Give it to me baby!

By Anonymous - 26/01/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend is so terrified of having a baby that he won’t screw me, even though I’m on the pill and we have condoms. He gets so worked up, he usually goes soft before we get the condom on. His oral game is on point but I just want a good hard dicking, is that too much to ask? FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 193

Baby baby

By Anonymous - 12/12/2023 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I have been in the same massive argument for two weeks. We agreed when we were dating that we couldn’t think of anything worse than having kids, we married on the basis we would never want kids. Now, a year later, she wants a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 214

Awkward conversation ahead

By Anonymous - 19/12/2021 23:01

Today, for the last two years of trying for a baby, my wife has been secretly still on the pill and takes a morning after pill every time we had sex. Funny, I thought we both wanted a baby, so I guess she doesn’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 827

You deserved it 244

But mah grandbabiiiiies

By Anonymous - 01/07/2022 02:00

Today, according to my mom, she didn’t make the selfless decision to have me just for me to grow up and make the completely selfish decision not to marry my long term partner, nor to give her any grandkids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 179

But they're so cute…

By Anonymous - 03/01/2023 12:00

Today, I went to a restaurant in a casino, thinking I wouldn’t have to deal with any kids. There was one family with rowdy toddlers and a baby, all crying and being loud. Guess where the restaurant seated us? There goes my child-free outing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 254

Plans

By Anonymous - 02/10/2022 02:30

Today, we saw a woman with two out-of-control children. As we walked away, my husband said to me, “Disgusting, I’m glad we’re never having children.” News to me, he'd always said he wanted a kid before we married. An uncomfortable conversation is imminent, damn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 226

It's a sign

By Anonymous - 19/01/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, while talking with my sister about why she and her husband never want kids, my own kids kicked a football into the kitchen cabinet, breaking the very bottom shelf, and tipping every plate, dish, and bowl to smash on the floor. My sister just gave me that look, the look that says, “Duh!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 697

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 12:00 - Germany

Today, the doctor saw in my file that I was 39 and asked me straight away, “How many kids do you have?” Not IF I had kids, just how many. Sure, a woman's main purpose is to procreate. What else could she want from life? FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 474

Dodgy

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 12:00

Today, after 6 years not wanting kids, my wife suddenly wants them with a desperation I’ve only seen in the drug addicts I work with wanting their fix. I still don’t want children, so now we just don’t have sex because I can’t trust her to take her contraceptives, or somehow tamper with my condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 385

You deserved it 278

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The Top

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 2 114

Today, I bought a delicious $17 lobster sandwich at a restaurant on the beach. The seagull who zoomed in and ripped it out of my hands as I was about to take the first bite seemed to enjoy it very much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 504

You deserved it 507

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 250

You deserved it 3 213

Today, I tried to get out of my boyfriend's car in an angered exit because he got a text from the woman he's been cheating on me with. I ended up tripping on my purse, falling out of the car and face-planting onto the sidewalk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 102

You deserved it 7 490

Today, my 12 year old cousin decided that "all men are pigs" and deleted every male contact in my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 203

You deserved it 4 908

Today, after spending almost an hour in the dentist's waiting room, watching other people get called in for their appointments, I finally lost my patience and asked the receptionist what was taking so long. I'd forgotten to sign in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 529

You deserved it 48 248