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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Bikes

    By Anonymous - 06/07/2009 19:21 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 58 299
    You deserved it 7 303
    Share  

    Rekt

    By Shaun - 16/06/2009 02:13 - United States

    Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 88 397
    You deserved it 6 178
    Share  

    Nature is harsh

    By fallsdownplenty45 - 02/06/2009 11:08 - Taiwan

    Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 72 966
    You deserved it 6 763
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Smartphone Money Thief Transportation Relatable Argument Love Mental health Bikes Cars Pranks Weird Awkward Spooky Family Christmas Kids Cats Animals Coffee Cute Health Clumsy Dogs Break-ups Coworkers Singing Work Bodyshaming
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 177
    You deserved it 1 004
    Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year-old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 46 740
    You deserved it 6 744
    Random FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 46 805
    You deserved it 5 120
    Today, I found cigarette butts at the bottom of the toaster. My mother has been dropping them in there for I don't know how long. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 35 977
    You deserved it 3 383
    Today, I applied for a dental insurance that claims "you cannot be denied". I was denied. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 34 955
    You deserved it 3 521
    Today, I found out that I drunkenly texted my boss yesterday asking for nude pictures. He sent them. I'm afraid to go to work tomorrow. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 16 839
    You deserved it 40 463
    Today, my boss fired me because someone hacked our website and replaced pictures of our products with furry porn (don’t Google it, it’s weird as fuck). We don’t have an IT department, but since I spend the most time on the computer controlling stock and purchases, he blamed me instead. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 721
    You deserved it 176
    Today, I was chilling at home when my roomie cruised in with a baddie on his arm. She turned out to be a total ho and started trying to get in my pants while he was sitting RIGHT THERE. I did everything I could to shake her off and in the end I just asked her to leave. Fuck, I feel bad for him. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 368
    You deserved it 79
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