Accident

Delicious

By MYLIFESUX - 12/04/2009 06:50 - United States

Today, I was sitting using my laptop, while eating a bag of Starbursts. The bag slid off the bed, so I went to catch it and in the process my knee hit my laptop, which flew off the bed onto the wooden floor, and shattered. I broke my laptop to save 11 Starbursts from falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 212

You deserved it 56 975

Introductions

By Mayshod - 03/05/2011 12:04

Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 240

You deserved it 2 808

Protect the child at all cost

By Anonymous - 26/12/2022 03:00

Today, carrying my 10-month old niece down the stairs, I missed a step. Protecting her on the way down, I badly sprained my right foot and snapped the ligament in my left. I now can’t walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 183

Neat

By ohhi_itsme123 - 16/12/2009 12:33 - United States

Today, I worked for three hours writing very neat notes with one of those pens that erase. I felt very accomplished, so decided to share it on Facebook. I brought my computer over to my lap on top of my notes. Turns out heat from laptops smudges ink from eraseable pens. I can't read my notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 644

You deserved it 30 392

Meme life

By Anonymous - 02/02/2023 22:00

Today, I tripped on an actual banana peel and fell over in front of my crush. I'm pretty sure that's the closest I'll ever come to being a meme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 146

Rekt

By Shaun - 16/06/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 384

You deserved it 6 176

Road rage

By badidea - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, someone nearly hit me with their car, so I flipped them the finger. They turned back around and tried to run me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 269

You deserved it 10 262

BIKES!

By Anonymous - 29/05/2024 02:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I took my motorbike out for the first time ever, after having waited for five weeks for it to be returned from the mechanics. Three hours later and I crashed after getting caught in the rain and hitting an oil patch on the road. Looks like I won't be riding until it's fixed. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 215

By 282 - 29/10/2018 14:00

Today, I was sitting on my younger sister's bed while I was on my phone. She came in the room and pushed me off the bed, and I ended up slicing the skin under my eye. Now, my parents are forcing me to pay for the injury for "hanging off the bed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 747

You deserved it 351

Live through this

By IceBreaker - 17/12/2022 18:00

Today, while on my way to a meeting and the following job interview I had lined up, I slipped on ice crossing the road, landing on my dominant arm. The pain was awful but I persisted and attended both. Later, it turned out I'd shattered my elbow and fractured my radius. I really hope I get that job now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 113

Mad bastards

By oof - 13/10/2022 21:00 - United States - Steele

Today, my cats decided to start sprinting back and forth across the house while I was holding a cup of coffee. They both ran into each of my legs in unison, sending me crashing down on top of them. I also hit my head on the corner of a shelf and spilled coffee all over my neck, in addition to breaking the cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 199

Do not attempt this at home

By PetiteLover - 28/12/2022 21:00

Today, I’m dating a petite girl, and I've had fantasies of picking her up and fucking her in midair. I attempted to try this fantasy last night. I'm now in the hospital with broken and bruised ribs and tailbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 1 666

How does that happen?

By Anonymous - 24/08/2024 16:00 - Australia

Today, I started a home workout routine by following a YouTube video that promised "beginner-friendly" exercises. While attempting a lunge, I lost my balance, fell forward, and knocked over my TV. The TV fell onto my yoga mat, breaking both. Now I have no motivation and no TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 353

Didn't see ya there

By mbrooke - 23/03/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, a couple of friends and I were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car that had stopped to help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 189

You deserved it 102 586

Feeling real worked out

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 11:00

Today, the lights went out at the gym while I was holding a heavy bar. I tried to put it back on the rack, missed, and dropped it on my toe. Then, as I was limping around in pain, I hit my head on one of the other bars on a rack at head height. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 103

Hey!

By Richocet - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I saw my dad on a bike, so I shouted after him. He turned his head around and then ran into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 354

You deserved it 36 644

Priorities, mate

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 06:10 - United States

Today, I hurt my arm in a scooter accident. When my dad came to pick me up, instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad, he took me directly home where he spent a hour shaving and taking a shower so he would "look nice" when we went to the hospital, while I clutched my arm in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 987

You deserved it 4 163

Help!

By Bug - 15/10/2012 21:38 - Canada - Ajax

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 121

You deserved it 2 443

Can't let the big man upstairs wait

By Sirsriracha - 21/10/2021 14:01

Today, I posted bail for my mom from jail. She did a hit and run, and then resisted arrest. When I asked why she didn’t stay at the scene, she unapologetically said, “I was gonna be late to church.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 125

Coming through

By hellogoodbye - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, at work my arms were full. I needed to get the door open, so instead of pushing the swing door open with my shoulder, I kicked it open with my foot. Right into my manager's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 101

You deserved it 12 721

Baby you can drive my car

By yeah - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Eugene

Today, I got in trouble for missing my shift. According to my idiot boss, "Crashes don't just happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 436

You deserved it 2 018

Didn't see ya there!

By jazojigga - 02/03/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the crosswalk. Suddenly, I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 810

You deserved it 52 313

One thing after the other

By Anonymous - 16/09/2025 00:00

Today, someone did a hit and run on my car hard enough to knock it onto the curb from its parking spot, destroying the bumper. They didn't leave any info behind. After taking care of police reports and such, I got home and took off my shoes just to step in a puddle of my roommate's horrible cat's diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 103

Psycho

By deadgirl - 15/05/2021 01:59

Today, I accidentally broke one of my mom’s favorite glasses while she was away. My dad saw and offered to tell her instead that he broke it, because, "let’s face it, if she knew it was you, she’d shove the glass shards down your fucking throat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 142

Two in one

By cactii - 16/02/2015 20:43 - United States

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 475

You deserved it 14 449

Roofed

By Anonymous - 29/08/2021 11:01

Today, a tile slid off the roof and knocked me out as I was fetching my mail. Apparently, I lay there for a while with the wind blowing my dressing gown up, flashing my bare ass to the neighbourhood. People took pictures, but no one thought to check I was alive, not even my kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 123

Social safety nets, now!

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 04:00 - Malta - Tarxien

Today, it was my birthday. I spent a pleasant day with one of my best friends, then I spent four hours in the emergency room because my husband broke his foot while working. We're both self-employed, so production is going to fall 6 weeks behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 146

Crotch rot

By LassieToe - 30/03/2012 03:48 - Australia

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 480

You deserved it 2 834

Premonition

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received a "Get Well Soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 961

You deserved it 2 553

Shut up and look out

By Bugs - 14/06/2022 04:00

Today, I was hanging out with a friend, and we were on our way to the nearest frozen yogurt place. The second we got out of the car, I immediately complained about how hot and bright it was outside. I was so busy complaining, I didn’t hear my friend telling me to watch out for the curb. I landed face first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 1 475

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was told by the guy I've liked for years that he would date me if he was straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 157

You deserved it 1 465

Today, I was telling my friend how much I love my 20-year-old kitchen scale, because it has this one handy function that even new ones don’t have. Later, my mom melted it on the stove and isn’t even convinced she should buy me a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 106

Today, I found out I will always come in second to my new husband's alcoholic parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 155

Today, I was in the middle of walking home when I saw an old woman trying to get away from what looked like a mugger. I go over and try to help her out and get the man off of her, which was successful. Turns out she was having a heart attack and the man was a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 439

You deserved it 17 855

Today, my mom asked me to bring the groceries in. In doing so, I brought in a bag full of toilet paper. She saw me and said, “Um, hello? I only said bring the GROCERIES in.” I was thus today years-old when I learned that ‘groceries’ only means food items, not just things you get from a grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 147

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 339

You deserved it 8 347