Accident

No good deed and all that

By Sam - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Belgium

Today, on the way to an exam, I saw a car accident happen. I stopped, helped the woman who was injured, and waited for the paramedics. I was late to school, the teacher didn't buy my excuse, and I failed the exam. It was an exam to test my first aid skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 808

You deserved it 4 410

The end of an era

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I had to quit my dream job, due to an injury I received at work over two months ago not fully healing. Not only do I really need the money, I’ll never find something I love doing so much, or a better group of coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 83

Thanks, guys

By Sophie - 27/12/2011 04:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 150

You deserved it 2 484

Slippery when wet

By anonymous - 03/01/2017 10:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 738

You deserved it 1 871

Tense

By This complicates things - 07/01/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my relationship with my sister-in-law has never been the greatest, so I've been trying to improve it. Any progress I may have made was destroyed when I accidentally slammed a car door shut with her hand in it. Good news: Her hand is not broken. Bad news: She absolutely refuses to believe it was an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 107

Freaked out

By scarredforlife - 03/10/2015 01:13 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, after taking my little niece out onto the balcony of her family's new apartment to enjoy the view, we watched as a man jaywalked across the street down below and was run over by a car. My niece is pretty much traumatized for life now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 426

You deserved it 1 650

No turkey for you

By Anonymous - 30/11/2024 16:00 - United States - Allentown

Today, I was on my way to a Thanksgiving dinner, with my dog in her seat in the front of my car. On the entrance ramp to the highway, my rear wheels spun to the left, and then my car spun completely around and hit the guardrail. My car is totaled. I'm broke, but at least my dog wasn't hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 145

Pull!

By Anonymous - 08/10/2020 11:01

Today, my tie-rod snapped, forcing me into a parked car. The wheel literally flew off my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 97

Noooooooo!

By please don't back that thing up - 09/08/2013 05:00 - United States

Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 718

You deserved it 6 256

It wasn't me

By Wanted - 19/08/2019 20:00 - United Kingdom - Salford

Today, I got a letter summoning me to court for leaving the scene of a car accident I had in London. I live in Manchester and don't own a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 109

Dumbass

By foxytheologian - 15/04/2017 02:00

Today, I was hit by an unmanned semi truck that rolled down an embankment onto the highway. I'm fine, but the entire left side of my car is smashed in. The idiot responsible had to be dragged down the hill by the cops. Apparently, he was peeing and forgot to put the parking brake on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 441

You deserved it 315

The sweet sighs of disappointment

By ThatGuyWhoRolled - 05/01/2023 15:00 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I was up against two others in a 120m race on my school's sports day. Unexpectedly, I heard my name being chanted from most of the classes watching and well, this made me want to win so much that I leaned forward too much whilst running and ended up tripping and rolling on the track. I heard loud sighs after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 415

Before you get mad…

By Anonyme - 05/12/2018 12:30 - United States - Pleasant Hill

Today, my wife came home and said, "Before you go into the garage, let me tell you what happened…" She was stopped at a traffic light and when it turned green, she stepped on the gas, but the truck in front of her didn't. The grill was smashed and the car has a 3-inch hole in the bumper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 593

You deserved it 255

Watch your step

By Gary - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated, and read a sign that said "Watch out for falling debris at all times." While I was watching out for debris, I fell down a staircase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 002

You deserved it 10 563

Get outta my way

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 921

You deserved it 4 495

None of my business

By Anonymous - 31/01/2025 20:00

Today, we witnessed a car hit a cyclist. My husband didn’t stop walking, even when I told him we should help. He said, “Why? Do we know him?” He then refused to help because getting involved and doing something wrong would risk us being sued instead of the driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 174

Rock n roll star

By MarsMayFall - 12/09/2016 09:56 - United States

Today, I was performing for a fairly large crowd with my band. I decided it would look cool to stand on one of the speakers and sing from there. It did look pretty cool for a bit until I tried to step off and fell face-first on the floor mid-song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 873

You deserved it 6 725

Treacherous weather

By Dopamin3 - 20/03/2019 06:00

Today, as I was driving to a conference two hours away, a giant piece of ice fell off a truck and did severe damage to my car's hood and busted the front light. The car was a few months old with around 5000 miles on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 274

You deserved it 160

Healthy lifestyle choices

By missy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Italy

Today, I was riding on a stationary exercise bike at home, when I went to get off, my shorts got stuck under the seat. I dangled half upside down until my shorts ripped and I fell on the ground face first breaking my front tooth. I broke my tooth riding a bike that doesn’t even move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 126

You deserved it 9 718

Gullible's travels

By Rebecca197 - 21/09/2022 13:30

Today, without trying, I convinced my 24 year-old daughter that Stop signs with a white border around it were optional. Her car is now totaled and she’s in the emergency room with whiplash. I didn’t think she’d be that gullible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 2 726

Crotch rot

By LassieToe - 30/03/2012 03:48 - Australia

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 482

You deserved it 2 835

Rough night, huh?

By Anonymous - 12/02/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was drunk and broke my leg. I called 911, only for the cops to turn up and make me try to walk, with them saying that I was faking my injury. They arrested me for being drunk in public and hours later I finally got to an ER. I had to have surgery on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 191

Up in smoke

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 817

You deserved it 46 725

Tumbler

By Anonymous - 27/04/2023 18:00

Today, I decided to clean out my closet and donate some clothes to charity. As I was carrying a heavy bag of clothes down the stairs, I tripped and fell, spilling everything everywhere. I had to start all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 147

Falling down

By Ouch - 26/06/2021 11:01 - Serbia

Today, I learned how it feels like when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot, landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 129

Oh dear…

By Wet Britches - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 055

You deserved it 1 747

Shut up and look out

By Bugs - 14/06/2022 04:00

Today, I was hanging out with a friend, and we were on our way to the nearest frozen yogurt place. The second we got out of the car, I immediately complained about how hot and bright it was outside. I was so busy complaining, I didn’t hear my friend telling me to watch out for the curb. I landed face first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 1 477

Told you so

By Anonymous - 02/02/2023 14:00

Today, I told my stepdad 3 times not to unload my new stove by himself, being worried about both the appliance and his bad back. When I came back to the car two minutes later, he'd taken the stove out and was wondering where that huge scratch on the side might have come from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 106

Butter fingers

By SplashOuch - 05/01/2010 17:58 - United States

Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs, while dropping everything else I was holding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 974

You deserved it 7 206

Sorry Sharon

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 244

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The Top

Today, I skipped class and went to back my apartment early. I found out that my roommate had broken into my room and was laying in my bed wearing my underwear, taking pictures of herself. Apparently, she's been doing it all semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 006

You deserved it 792

Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 071

You deserved it 4 687

Today, I ran for the first time in ages when I saw my bus coming. My loose shoe went flying into a shop doorway, and I tripped into the gutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 178

You deserved it 6 684

Today, I’ve had a blocked nose for weeks, so when I sneezed I partially dislodged a massive solid booger. It was so big and thick, I had to grab it and pull it the rest of the way out. I was on a first date at the time, and he left before I got back from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 211

Today, I had a gym date with a girl from Tinder. As soon as I saw her loading up the 45s, I knew I was in trouble. She could squat and leg-press over 100 lbs more than me on both. Somehow she let me come over that night anyway. I challenged her to a wrestling match to try and gain back my pride, then she made me tap out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 1 483

Today, I joined what I thought was my weekly team meeting on Zoom. I launched into a rant about our broken coffee machine, which I've been asking for weeks for it to be fixed, before someone interrupted with, “Erm, this is a parent-teacher conference.” I don’t even have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 434