AITA

No uncertain terms

By Andreww - 30/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I got broken up with yet again by my on-and-off ex-girlfriend. I had ended things with an amazing girl I was seeing just to go back to my ex. She'd made it clear that if things went wrong with my ex, I wasn't allowed to pursue her again. I tried to hit her up again anyway, but she told me to “take a short walk off a pier.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1 505

Going solo

By Im so lonely - 16/07/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend got married to a man she met last year. She left me after 8 years together because I told her I wanted to have fun and live my life, and wasn’t ready for marriage. Three years later, I’m not having fun at all. None of my bros wanna make plans because they’d rather be with their wives and kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 1 429

Have fun!

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I worked from home and, by coincidence, it was the day that my partner was going away for the weekend with some friends. When one of them picked her up, I noticed that the other friend's husband was going on the trip. So other husbands are invited… but not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 120

Priorities

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 20:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, despite being an incredible single mother to my only child, and loving him more than anyone else could, my son still completely ignored me and my attempts to hug him at his gender reveal party with his wife. Apparently she deserved a hug more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 2 172

Thick ear

By why - 23/06/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I made fun of a crazy-looking woman at the park. The man next to me turned out to be her husband, and he dragged me by my ear over to apologize to her. My friends are still laughing at me and my ear is swollen to twice the usual size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 1 263

Customer support

By Anonymous - 27/12/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I tried to buy a bottle of juice on sale. When it didn't ring up the sale price, they told me that the bottle was just on the wrong shelf and it wasn't on sale. I demanded that they honor the price, and they had security escort me out, without the juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 994

It's a doggy dog world

By Tom - 02/10/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - Zoetermeer

Today, it's been two years since I got a Dobermann as a gift for my husband. For two years he has cried non-stop, constantly played with his privates, reeked of dead corpse, and used shit to mark the entire yard. He cries all night long. I haven’t slept in two years. I think I have sleep deprivation. My husband says he must stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 561

Am I the asshole?

By Yanil - 20/06/2021 16:02

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 4 years ago. Turns out she hasn’t found love again since I broke it off with her for her best friend. She’s not the bubbly, cheery girl I met before. I can’t help but feel like an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 4 265

Father figure

By Anonymous - 26/08/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, I realised my step-kids never really thought of me as their dad, given that since their mother died 7 months ago, they haven’t visited me once, don’t respond to texts, or answer when I phone them. I’ve been totally abandoned by them, even though I’ve been their stepdad over 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 108

You what?

By he does WHAT - 23/06/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I went with my wife to her work picnic. Some guy I don't know slapped her on the butt. I was ready to deck the creep, but my wife giggled and said, "Oh relax, it doesn't mean a thing. He does that all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 104

Ain't no way

By sigh... - 21/12/2024 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my mom offered to drive us into the city after Christmas. I told her months ago that I wasn't getting in a car she was driving, because I don't trust her not to secretly drink and drive. I guess she either forgot or didn't think I meant it. Now I have to tell her again, two days before flying down there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 96

No thanks!

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me that he has a secret love child, but that its mother had passed. I'm supposed to now raise this kid? FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 123

Son of a snitch

By Anonymous - 25/04/2024 16:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 781

Never change the routine

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 00:00 - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend and I got up, dressed, and dealt with the kids. I had to be somewhere so I poured coffee for her and me and started eating my breakfast. She got offended, refused to drink coffee with me, and has been ignoring me since. She regularly starts eating before I sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 82

Modern romance

By Herbie03 - 15/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my partner caught me cheating... on ChatGPT. I was secretly using AI to write my love poems. She said that she knew it, because she could “feel the difference in emotional tone.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 637

Old hag

By Michael McMike - 27/08/2024 12:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I was trying to compliment a colleague on her new hairstyle. I said, "I love how you did your hair today, it makes you look so mature!" She didn't take it as a compliment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 463

Am I the asshole?

By Springmaid - 02/10/2023 06:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, a heavy set lady came to my boutique asking for our "largest" 28in size jeans. I decided to humor her by giving a 52 mislabeled as a 28. It fit perfectly! She happily bought it and left. Later, her mother, who is a Super Karen and twice her size, came to complain about me to the owner for bodyshaming her daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 285

A Caturday surprise

By fucking cat - 02/03/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 245

Never question upper management!

By Anonymous - 14/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I told my supervisor that I would have appreciated more oversight when running an advanced protocol for the first time recently. I'm now doing remedial basic training, for reduced pay and benefits, and my probationary status is "extended indefinitely." FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 133

Entitled much?

By r/entitledparents material right here - 06/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, a woman came up to me at a restaurant and asked if her autistic son could borrow my headphones. I agreed, but when they were leaving and I asked for them back, she accused me of trying to steal MY headphones that she BORROWED from me. If not for other people backing me up, I would have lost them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 177

Self report

By i got the ring - 13/10/2023 20:00

Today, I told my husband’s ex that she is under no circumstances to contact him for any reason, and that if they must discuss the kids being dropped off, I am to be included as a group text. Her reply? A bunch of laughing emojis. Now he’s pissed at me for trying to protect our marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 2 216

Lesson learned

By Anonymous - 23/12/2023 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, some guy has been routinely parking in my designated spot outside my block of flats, so I thought I’d teach him a lesson by putting a clamp on his tyre. I later went outside, and not only had he cut the clamp off, he’d left me a note basically saying, "Better luck next time, asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 279

Was it "Girl Afraid" by The Smiths?

By what - 21/07/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was listening to some music with my wife, and I mentioned that the song that was playing changed my mind about breaking up after an argument from years ago. For some reason, she got insanely pissed, threw a suitcase at me, and told me to pack and go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 585

Swiss cheese

By Anonymous - 30/10/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife is furious at me because she made a memory box for our kids, with objects linked to milestones, silly memories, holidays and so on, and try as I might I couldn’t identify a single damn one of them, except for a paint sampler from the time we repainted the whole house in one weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 477

Get me the manager

By WhyMe - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 247

You deserved it 4 437

Reputation

By Joe - 22/04/2025 00:00 - United States - East Carbon City

Today, it's my wife's birthday. I'm known for being forgetful and she already thinks I don't care. I had some little things planned for today, but her sister messaged me telling me to remember her birthday before I even said happy birthday. Now my wife is crying and upset because once again, I "only act on prompt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 162

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 31/07/2024 20:00

Today, my brother asked his wife for a divorce, but she got so mad at him that he backtracked and told her it was a prank I'd put him up to. She’s still mad as hell at him, but thanks to his lie my name is now mud in our entire family. I was at work all day, and I did nothing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 108

Twists and turns

By Anonymous - 12/12/2024 00:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend got drunk and started crying, begging me to never break up with her, only for her to say 10 minutes later, "I don’t wanna be with you anymore." Then she asked me if she could buy me some pot, and, "Let’s watch movies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 123

New hire

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Brazil - Jacare

Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "Mom" while at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 583

You deserved it 2 963

Entitled much?

By grandpa - 27/11/2023 05:00

Today, despite being the first to hold all my other grandchildren, despite my son and bitch of a daughter-in-law agreeing I would be the first, I showed up at the hospital to see my daughter-in-law's father holding my grandchild before me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 2 592

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 051

You deserved it 4 583

Today, my boyfriend said that we can "maybe have sleepovers" at his house when he FINALLY moves out. He's 24, and we've been dating for 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 470

You deserved it 8 102

Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 428

You deserved it 4 426

Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 662

You deserved it 15 783

Today, my cat vomited down my heater vent. It went very far down. I'm not even sure if I got all of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 140

Today, I watched Alien for the first time with my husband. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I got so wet during the facehugger scene, I had to fake a panic attack and ask him to turn the movie off because I was scared he'd notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 316