The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month

The top of the year

On the twelfth day of Xmas, my true love sent to me…

By Yudith - 14/12/2025 15:00

Today, it's the twelfth day since I ordered the fittings (which are not sold in hardware stores) needed for one of our tenants' leaking kitchen sink. I received two emails; one that says the package will arrive today, and one that says never mind, the package will arrive in seven weeks. For the tenant, FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 76

Britain's got talons

By Anonymous - 15/01/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking down the street when a pigeon flew into my head and got caught in my hair. To make matters worse, a group of kids thought it was hilarious and started filming me with their phones while I screamed in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 112

What is wrong with me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, after I randomly started having mild stomach rumbling in the mornings, I went to the hospital and the doctor simply told me that I had to eat more, I took his advice but it didn't work. Now I’m 6 hospital visits down the line and my stomach is so loud the sounds made could fill a hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 76

Karen in seat 14A

By Dammit - 16/02/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I was on a long-haul flight, desperately trying to sleep. My husband next to me started snoring so loudly, I swear he was vibrating the seat. In a dazed, half-asleep state, I leaned over and hissed, “Shut up!” It wasn’t him. It was the guy next to him. He woke up and looked at me like I was the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 464

Valid argument

By Anonymous - 27/02/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancé actually tried to skip my mum’s birthday by claiming the cat was asleep on him, and he didn’t want to move, then he yelled at me when I moved the cat for him. Guess he forgot it’s a surprise party and we’re the ones supposed to be driving my mum there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 133

Punching

By Sky Deleter - 04/03/2025 16:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. My dad took one look at him, sighed and said, "You deserve someone better. Someone who is responsible, and has their priorities straight in life." Beyond upset, I told my dad that I love him. My dad disgruntledly responded, "I was talking to him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 208

Corner cutting

By Anonymous - 17/03/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got some lumber delivered to site and that shit was so bent and warped I could've cut it into foot long pieces and sold them as boomerangs. My boss is breathing down my neck about finishing on time to a high standard of work, yet he keeps buying subpar materials on the cheap. Tosser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 53

Help!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I went about pet-proofing my house because my new kitten is exploring every nook and cranny. I locked up everything dangerous. Then, while trying to put a safety lock on the pantry/cold room, I managed to lock myself inside. I had to yell for my roommate to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 379

Da ba dee da ba di

By Embarassed - 07/04/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was in a meeting when my phone suddenly rang. I'd forgotten to silence it, but it wasn’t just any ringtone, it was "I'm Blue" by Eiffel 65. It played for 30 seconds while everyone stared at me rushing to retrieve it from my bag on the other side of the room and turn it off. The worst part? That fucking song is still stuck in my head, and it's been hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 441

I hate shopping

By Kelly - 11/04/2025 00:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried a polo neck sweater on at a store, and when I tried to take it off, it got stuck halfway over my head. I panicked and tugged harder, only to realize I was now stuck inside, unable to get it off. A store employee finally saw me struggling and came help me. I'm never going back there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 107

Cunning plan

By Anonymous - 16/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was texting a friend about how my date last night went, which gave me a goofy idea: I thought it would be cute to pretend that I'd made a mistake and send my response to my date, just so he'd know how I felt it went. I should've proofread, because instead of “It went well, he was really sweet!”, I sent him “It went well, he was really sweaty!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 643

Probably a Monday

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 11:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, running late for work, I ran outside and the door handle literally broke off my vehicle when I pulled to open it. I climbed in through the passenger door, turned on my car, and the windshield wipers were on… swiping a fresh $78 parking ticket across my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 136

Deadline

By ToxicFamily - 02/05/2025 09:00 - Germany - Porta Westfalica

Today, I have a good job that I like and excites me. I screwed up by bluffing my updates on an ongoing task. Now I think my manager is onto me, as he wants me to give a presentation about my current work. I have to complete 10 days of work over this weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 991

Button fever

By i hate it - 09/05/2025 12:00 - United States - Fresno

Today, I had a conference call with a client. I was feeling confident and had been preparing all morning. Right in the middle of my presentation, I hit the wrong button, and my webcam feed turned into a close-up of my face, which had a giant zit right in the middle of my forehead. The client didn’t say anything, but I could see their eyes glued to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 203

How bizarre…

By Jenn03 - 21/05/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend, best friend, and another friend went out in my boyfriend’s new car. I was connecting my phone to his Bluetooth so we could play music. I saw my best friend’s phone in the list. He bought the car two days ago. Their avoidant reactions and my boyfriend trying to change the subject said it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 93

Sexy moves

By Anonymous - 23/05/2025 19:00

Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 164

Not the time to get distracted

By Lost Reggie - 28/05/2025 20:00 - United States - Vilonia

Today, after a tearful weekend of burying my best friend, I stopped for gas on my way home. I got distracted by a guy next to me who was acting strange. I unknowingly filled my car with Diesel. It cost over $1000 to tow home, and I can't even get it looked at until Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 293

Chill out zone

By Gassy Patient - 06/06/2025 14:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, while a patient in my local psych ward, I attended a relaxation group. Apparently it was too relaxing, as I farted in the middle of it. It smelled. People noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 149

Sticky

By Anonymous - 13/06/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, it's been a few days since I had surgery, which means I can’t wash my hair myself for a couple of weeks. Today I paid to have it washed professionally… then proceeded to spill liquid glucose all over the ends of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 124

Memory hole

By Anonymous - 17/07/2025 22:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I spent an hour trying to log into my work email. I apparently kept typing the wrong password and eventually got locked out for 24 hours. My boss texted me five minutes later asking why I wasn’t responding to his emails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 312

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 21/07/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, my car crapped out in the middle of the road, after over a year of only being able to find short contract jobs, all while juggling the grief of the back to back deaths of my mother and grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 82

Not now, Alexa

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was having an intense argument with my girlfriend. At the height of it, in a rare moment of total silence, Alexa announced, “Now playing: ‘Someone Like You’ by Adele.” We both stopped, stared at the speaker, and then continued arguing while Adele sang on in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 345

Local dog catcher

By Anonymous - 17/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I saw what I thought was my neighbor’s dog running loose down the street. I chased him for a full block, shouting, “Buster! Come here, buddy!” I finally caught him, only for an angry stranger to yell, “That’s my dog! And his name is Kevin!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 136

Moral panic of the day

By I don't even like Roblox - 22/08/2025 09:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I came home to my frantic mom boxing up all the family electronics. She'd heard about the Roblox lawsuit and is now convinced that every inch of the internet is crawling with pedophiles. Now my two little brothers are throwing earsplitting tantrums and I have no way to drown them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 83

Nice try

By GregIsGreg - 29/08/2025 12:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to flirt with the supermarket cashier by saying, “Guess I’m buying enough food for two!” She smiled politely and said, “That’s nice. Will your wife help you carry it?” I said, “What wife?” only to realize I’d just exposed myself as a lonely man buying family-sized frozen lasagna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 494

Party time!

By Anonymous - 12/09/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I surprised my friend at their birthday party with a confetti cannon. I pulled the string, expecting colorful joy. Instead, it misfired, launched backwards and smacked me in the forehead. The confetti came out five seconds later, directly onto my dazed head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 288

One thing after the other

By Anonymous - 16/09/2025 00:00

Today, someone did a hit and run on my car hard enough to knock it onto the curb from its parking spot, destroying the bumper. They didn't leave any info behind. After taking care of police reports and such, I got home and took off my shoes just to step in a puddle of my roommate's horrible cat's diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 101

Smooth criminal

By Chad69 - 17/09/2025 22:00

Today, I went to pick up my laundry from the communal machines in my apartment building. When I got there, all my clothes were neatly folded on top of the dryer. I was impressed, until I realized half of the pile wasn’t mine. I'd been carrying someone else’s underwear up to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 300

Boo! Get better jokes!

By Bad open mic night - 25/09/2025 00:00

Today, I thought I was alone in the breakroom, so as I reheated my lunch, I started practicing my stand-up comedy routine out loud. I was halfway through a joke about constipation when the vending machine guy poked his head out from behind the vending machine he was restocking and said, “Don’t quit your day job.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 414

Morning glory

By Unwanted - 26/09/2025 20:00

Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 93

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I went grocery shopping with my grandmother. Our bagger offered to help load our groceries, to which my grandmother replied, "Oh, what a nice young colored boy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 219

You deserved it 360

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 429

You deserved it 62 582

Today, I performed a piano piece at a school play. Everything went well until I got up and accidentally smashed my shin against one of the piano legs. Before I could bite my tongue, I'd already yelled "Fucking hell!" in front of about 50 second graders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 806

You deserved it 5 185

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 846

You deserved it 2 619

Today, I was pulled into an office by the head of my college department. I was told that I was “making someone uncomfortable” but refused to elaborate on who it was, or what I’d done wrong. How am I supposed to fix a problem if I don’t know what the problem is? FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 92

Today, after talking to a girl for a little over a month, and both of us saying we liked each other and FaceTiming each other for multiple hours each day, she told me I’m “too easy to talk to” and friendzoned me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 153