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By Rhea - 28/10/2009 11:00 - Australia

Today, I won a raffle organised by a friend. I discovered one of the "prizes" was actually a present that I had given to her, that she had "loved". When I asked her where she had gotten it, she said, "Oh, just some crap someone gave me once." She didn't even remember that I had given it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 179

You deserved it 3 734

By MADfml - 26/02/2009 03:12 - United States

Today, I went to my crushes Mardi Gras party. He was handing out beads to all the girls at the party that flashed him. When he came around to me he stopped and said "I will give you these beads NOT to flash me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 675

You deserved it 5 213

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 21:05 - United States

Today, I had my first chorus concert. We got a bigger applause when we left the stage than when we sang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 555

You deserved it 6 813

By canadiansun - 26/02/2010 18:37 - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 225

You deserved it 4 063

Baked

By non-baker - 18/03/2015 02:12 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 157

You deserved it 9 049

Dutch courage

By not a jesse pinkman joke - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Princeton

Today, my dad turned up drunk to an intervention for my brother's drug addiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 638

You deserved it 2 641

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 19:02 - United States - Lemont

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 971

You deserved it 2 465

Trauma for life

By he's still not convinced - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 939

You deserved it 3 644

They see me rollin'…

By Anonymous - 02/02/2016 10:06 - Ireland - Cork

Today, I got to work and saw a new desk had been setup on stilts. "Oh, who got the standing desk?" I asked. Turns out it's for the guy in the wheelchair who was right behind me. It needs to be high so the controls of his wheelchair can fit under the desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 662

You deserved it 3 863

By Studying is for crazy people. - 22/11/2014 04:36 - United States - Stockton

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 630

You deserved it 3 928

By Anonymous - 28/10/2014 21:58 - United States

Today, my school put on a musical. I was one of the leads, and in the middle of my solo, I got a huge nosebleed. A little girl in the front row screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 866

You deserved it 2 742

Rammed

By StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Radcliff

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 511

You deserved it 2 371

I'm right here

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 10:39 - Australia

Today, after applying for a promotion to a position which I've been working my ass off for two years to get, my managers thought it would be appropriate to discuss other applicants in front of me, even asking me to compare my resume with theirs to see the "caliber" of what I'm up against. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 764

You deserved it 2 203

By GoodDog - 09/09/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 858

You deserved it 51 923

Lisp

By Megan - 23/02/2009 16:47 - Canada

Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 989

You deserved it 5 496

By Failsafe - 09/05/2016 14:35 - United States - Newark

Today, I worked up the courage to ask out the girl I liked. I got her a nice bracelet for her birthday and asked her on a date when I gave it to her. "Aww, you're so sweet!" was the response to the gift. Her response to the date proposal? "Wait, you aren't gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 675

You deserved it 1 454

By now what - 23/02/2015 23:52 - Canada

Today, I got laid off. I abandoned my friends, my boyfriend and moved 10 hours away for this job because my uncle convinced me to. My uncle is my employer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 142

You deserved it 4 888

By LadyNexus - 07/01/2015 03:54 - United States - Mohrsville

Today, I asked my boyfriend how he felt about me and he said, "You're the hottest seven I've ever met." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 244

You deserved it 4 288

Cutting corners

By HALIFAAA - 28/12/2014 13:56 - Germany - Braunschweig

Today, my boss sent me a Word document that he wanted me to make into a PowerPoint presentation for him. It was a set of proposals for the board of directors about cost-saving options. The third option was to eliminate my position in the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 526

You deserved it 2 195

By Anonymous - 10/02/2016 15:32 - United States - Wexford

Today, my aunt informed me that my dad thinks my boyfriend is a loser deadbeat because he hasn't proposed to me after two years of dating and co-habitation. He hasn't asked because I already made it very clear I have no interest in marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 402

You deserved it 4 881

By notahomewrecker - 09/01/2010 16:07 - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I'd been seeing for a few weeks. It was his wife calling to find out what was going on with us. He told me he was separated. He left his kids home alone to hook up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 933

You deserved it 5 040

By grosssss - 01/01/2010 13:03 - Australia

Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 756

You deserved it 3 439

By ugh - 01/12/2015 03:52 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 678

You deserved it 1 591

By Jen - 09/11/2010 03:36 - Australia

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 839

You deserved it 2 752

Redecorating

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Amersham

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months moved into my apartment. I had never been to his place because his roommate was a drug addict, so it came as quite a surprise when he brought three taxidermied cats with him, insisting that I let him mount them in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 514

You deserved it 12 667

By Jaime - 31/03/2014 22:05 - United States - New York

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 417

You deserved it 6 831

By stink - 01/07/2015 02:40 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 477

You deserved it 5 014

By Rover - 11/07/2016 19:03

Today, unfortunately, my new husband's idea of foreplay is to tap me on the shoulder and tell me to roll over. I saved myself for marriage for this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 713

You deserved it 3 415

By zoearcu - 17/04/2011 18:32 - United States

Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 906

You deserved it 3 527

Red flag

By kappu - 07/05/2018 01:30

Today, I got home to find my house trashed, my TV, PlayStation, and laptop smashed, all my clothes burning in the backyard, and all my food gone. Turns out my girlfriend did this after going through my phone and finding a contact named "Kristi". Kristi is my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 867

You deserved it 483

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The Top

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 059

You deserved it 13 637

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 633

You deserved it 17 172

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said, "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 929

You deserved it 3 983

Today, I got really sick after drinking a lot of alcohol and started throwing up. Every time I threw up into the toilet, the water would splash back up into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 3 220

Today, I decided to start working out. I made a bit of Internet research, and I found out about my body type. The first and only example that popped up is Natalie Portman. Oh, by the way, I’m a 16 year-old dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 173

Today, my car was broken in for a second time in a month and a half, and for the second time it's now Inoperable. I only got it returned from repairs two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 73