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It was one of those knee-high single wire barbed fences they use to keep deer/horses and stuff away from certain places like roads...I think. I don't really know what those fences do, except trip people and hurt a lot. At least it wasn't electric.

By Gross... - 16/08/2011 06:22 - United States

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

agreeclassic 38 642

vote type 1 3 277

Better Call Small

By not-so-young-shortie - 18/02/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He's 6'2 and I'm 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

agreeclassic 80 960

vote type 1 5 105

By notaprossie - 03/02/2010 08:42 - South Africa

Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML

agreeclassic 9 564

vote type 1 39 188

By kaybax - 19/11/2011 11:42 - South Africa

Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML

agreeclassic 19 090

vote type 1 46 598

By Anonymous - 27/04/2012 18:01 - United Kingdom - Hatfield

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. After she left, they told me they disapprove of her because of her supposedly lower social class. Now I have to either dump her or lose the money they set aside to pay for my university tuition. FML

agreeclassic 37 687

vote type 1 3 170

By tooflufoschool - 14/10/2009 13:00 - United States

Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML

agreeclassic 44 891

vote type 1 5 539

By Damian - 22/04/2011 11:11

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

agreeclassic 89 026

vote type 1 6 668

By Arniii - 01/02/2012 18:53 - United States

Today, it was our class field trip. I got five dollars from ten different people because they wanted me to sit away from them. FML

agreeclassic 32 466

vote type 1 5 017

By Anonymous - 05/02/2013 06:40 - United States - Northbrook

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

agreeclassic 27 166

vote type 1 39 713

Supportive

By fuckthepopo - 21/01/2012 02:31 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML

agreeclassic 29 858

vote type 1 6 491

By brie - 02/11/2011 16:01 - United States

Today, after 3 years, I saw my ex, who I still love, at a coffee shop. Being nice, I said hi. He turned around, looked at me, and said, "Thank God I broke up with you. You look like a hot mess!" before getting up and walking out with his model girlfriend. FML

agreeclassic 45 423

vote type 1 5 935

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Today, I woke up at 1 a.m., after having a nightmare that I was pregnant. I took pregnancy test, and… baby boy or girl in May 2025? FML

agreeclassic 367

vote type 1 284

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

agreeclassic 34 362

vote type 1 7 872

Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML

agreeclassic 10 787

vote type 1 67 587

Today, I bought a Halloween fog machine to make my front yard look spooky. I didn’t realize it would set off my house's fire alarm when I tested it before putting it on the front porch. I ended up outside in full costume while firefighters checked my “haunted” house. FML

agreeclassic 141

vote type 1 421

Today, I found out one of the neighborhood kids has been stealing from my mailbox. Several packages marked "delivered" had gone missing over the last few months, so I set up a trail cam in the yard. I notified the USPS and the police; they confronted him at his house. He's been reselling everything I ordered on eBay. FML

agreeclassic 666

vote type 1 90

Today, I was having a romantic conversation with my boyfriend under the stars. He said, "You know how there are people who are beautiful on the inside and people who are beautiful on the outside? Yeah, well you're one of those 'inside' people." FML

agreeclassic 36 744

vote type 1 4 623