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By Girl-with-the-glasses - 11/04/2012 07:34 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I found out about my old school's class reunion, which I wasn't invited to. Everyone has my number and e-mail address. They just "forgot" to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 887

You deserved it 2 876

By LesToiliettes - 25/03/2012 07:12 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 957

You deserved it 2 179

By Anonymous - 23/07/2016 23:04 - United States - Atlanta

Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 886

You deserved it 19 362

By JimiHendrix - 01/03/2013 01:55 - France - Luynes

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 988

You deserved it 7 369

By wolfie898 - 21/05/2011 07:28 - United States

Today, while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 674

You deserved it 8 309

Wolfie898 tells us more.

Wolfie898 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 7:09

my mom is actually divorced

By awkward_loser69 - 14/07/2016 04:42

Today, I went into labor. I called my mother to ask her to drive me to the hospital. She wanted me to wait for her to take a nap first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 963

You deserved it 1 074

awkward_loser69 tells us more.

awkward_loser69 21

Friday 15 July 2016 21:44

OP here, to answer some questions, the father and I are married, he was just working at the time and my mom is closer to me than my SO's work so we had already planned for her to take me if this were to happen since he works long shifts. She was definitely serious about taking a nap but thank god she didn't cuz I was in full blown labor and had a few complications. Long story short, in the end my daughter had to have her stomach pumped as soon as I delivered and she wasn't breathing due to her swallowing and choking on my amniotic fluid and her meconium. She was fine after all that happened other than a fever of 104.5. So if my mom had taken a nap I'm not sure what would have happened.

By asdfjkl - 06/09/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, I had a long, meaningful telephone conversation. After hanging up, I realized I hadn't had such a great conversation in a long time. Who was it with? The Dell Customer Support guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 250

You deserved it 5 666

Thanks, random stranger

By { o } - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Miami

Today, an old man approached me at work. I smiled and asked, "Hi, can I help you"? He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, "Fuck me, you need to lose some weight!" and then wandering off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 105

You deserved it 3 876

By goodgrief - 30/10/2013 18:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 958

You deserved it 8 800

By Awahso - 16/10/2013 21:42 - United States - Buford

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 247

You deserved it 3 619

By Damnsoup - 03/07/2009 00:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 304

You deserved it 6 999

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 03:24 - United States - Franklin

Today, at my minimum wage job, we received a half-way decomposed dog found in a lake. It was my job to tear open the bag and try to identify the breed and color. It would've been easier if the body wasn't crawling with maggots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 557

You deserved it 1 838

Spray it

By GoldenShower - 25/06/2009 10:17 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my son squirting liquid on me from a bottle. We have a high deer population in our area, so I spray urine contained in black bottle on my plants to help deter the deer from eating them. I also water my flowers with water from a blue bottle. My son used the black one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 986

You deserved it 8 099

By Embarrassed - 22/08/2013 04:40 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 839

You deserved it 4 355

By Anonymous - 13/09/2011 05:53 - United States

Today, I received a rejection letter from a college that I'd applied to 6 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 150

You deserved it 2 622

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, a guy at work was ranking the girls we work with in the order he'd want to date them. He told me I was 6th "because personality is important, too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 114

You deserved it 5 442

By fatguyinalittlecoat - 08/12/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 958

You deserved it 5 295

No help wanted

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 835

You deserved it 3 398

By NintyStar - 30/08/2016 20:15 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I found out that my college textbooks, which I spent nearly $200 dollars on for the two of them, did not come with the codes they were advertised with. The codes are needed for online classwork that is required to pass the course. Each new code is $90 a piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 836

You deserved it 1 583

NintyStar tells us more.

NintyStar 2

Wednesday 31 August 2016 16:35

OP here: for clarification, these are the books for one course. The rest of my books for my first semester (I'm a college freshman) drove my textbook costs up to over $500. So having to pay nearly $200 more for my books that did not come as advertised is a bit of a shock, to say the least. For reference, I bought all of my books the week before move-in, and I've only just finished my first week of classes. Luckily, my professor is very understanding, and she just sent me the link to where I could buy the codes and know they were legitimate, and she said she'd just give me credit for what I've already missed. So, I guess you could say this story has a happy ending, more or less. I'll just be better about it when buying books for next semester.