The Top

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Hang in there, man

By Anonymous - 08/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, my best friend of five years left cause I “followed them” and that made me depressed, then I couldn’t go outside or to class anymore cause I was too depressed, then my girlfriend, whom I was going to marry, left me because, you guessed it, I was too depressed. Now I’m in a mental hospital for trying to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 217

Une rule for thee, none for me

By Anonymous - 13/06/2023 12:00

Today, I got fired for following my work directions. I found out when I tried to badge into work, and paid $40 for a ride home. There also was an argument with my supervisors because I actually follow the directions correctly and knew what they meant. I'm temp to hire so there's no recourse for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 131

How could you?

By Anonymous - 10/11/2024 00:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for "cheating" on him with his best friend. What did I do? I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek when I finally met him in person, after years of hearing about how great he is and how much we would get along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 195

The work wife

By Anonymous - 16/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I found out that my favorite female coworker was in a car accident. When I told my girlfriend, her only reaction was to roll her eyes and sarcastically say, "Oh no." She then immediately, and very enthusiastically, asked if the accident killed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 327

Quickie

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 15:00

Today, I walked to my boyfriend's house, which takes literally 2 minutes since we are also neighbours. He wanted sex straight away. The walk took longer than the sex, by over a full minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 220

Racketeering

By Anonymous - 21/06/2023 03:00 - United States - Isle

Today, I woke up to the most excruciating pain in my jaw. No dentist that takes my insurance has any openings, and the one doctor I can see to get antibiotics isn’t in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 12:00

Today, after a trip to the emergency room for severe stomach pain and almost passing out in the shower, I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and broke my two front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 131

More context please

By Anonymous - 30/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I invited my mom over for lunch so we could discuss how she broke my trust while she last babysat for me, and that as a result she won’t be babysitting for a little while. She then yelled at me and told me I was being disrespectful and dramatic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 137

Red tape

By Anonymous - 02/07/2023 15:00

Today, I drove for 45 minutes to find an open print shop to scan and email my signed severance agreement for the job I'd worked at for two years, so I can keep the maximum value of the severance. They specifically asked me to scan a copy, instead of mailing. Now they've blocked my email, so I can't get my severance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 114

Mirage

By No date for me - 06/12/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I spent an entire hour talking to someone at a party. I was feeling a real connection, only to find out halfway through the conversation that she wasn’t actually a guest, she was the caterer who just happened to be really nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 225

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 11:47

Today, I found out that my new roommate is dating my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 875

You deserved it 147

It's the thought that counts…

By Charlatan126 - 03/02/2021 11:00 - United States - Hilliard

Today, I finally had a man say, "I love you" to me in a sincere tone. It was a customer, who was high, over the phone. I said it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 166

Patsy

By Anonymous - 28/04/2022 12:00

Today, my brother ran in, handed me a spatula, and told me to stand still. Barely a second later, our sister came tearing in the house with a fresh, raised welt on her ass cheek in the shape of said spatula, saw me holding said spatula, and kicked my ass up and down the house until I escaped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 181

I'm the taxman, yeaaaaaah

By Anonymous - 09/07/2023 15:00

Today, according to my tax bill, I’ve been employed by a company I interviewed for over a year ago. They apparently hired me but forgot to tell me, then they also forgot to fire me for not turning up, so I’m somehow their unpaid employee and yet owe taxes for wages I’ve never been paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 107

High maintenance

By Anonymous - 27/07/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally farted during my orgasm with this new woman I’ve been seeing. She said she’s not into that sort of thing, and no matter how I tried to explain it was just an accident, she asked me to leave, and that she’d call me, maybe, if she can forgive me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 94

By Anonymous - 12/02/2021 23:01

Today, I was texting my boyfriend while in the car with my family. He sent a particularly racy text, and my little sister happened to look over at my phone and then asked quite loudly, "What does anal mean?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 1 219

By NYeeerrr - 09/06/2019 22:00

Today, after having my Apple Watch for a year, it asked me something it has never asked me before. As I began my hike around a lake, 10 minutes in, it asked if I was starting to workout. I hit yes, and it then congratulated me on my very first workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 752

Sitting ducks

By Anonymous - 30/07/2023 12:00

Today, my friend and I stopped at a convenience store. She mentioned that it was was "a bad part of town", and I angrily reminded her that just because it's a poor area doesn't make it bad, and that she needed to be more tolerant. We then got jumped, beaten, and robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 1 229

Reliable

By Anonymous - 01/01/2025 15:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I loudly proclaimed my New Year’s resolution was to stop drinking. I made this declaration while holding a margarita in one hand and a beer in the other, in the middle of a rowdy New Year's Eve party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 578

A real mess

By huh? - 09/05/2022 00:01

Today, a guy I went out with twice, and slept with once, came knocking on my door, hysterically crying. Apparently his wife found out about “us” and kicked him out. He’s now asking where he can put his stuff, since he’s now homeless. I had no idea he was married, and she’s now looking to fight me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 382

You deserved it 297

Favoritism

By Anonymous - 27/04/2022 16:00

Today, my older sister dragged us to a restaurant that charged us $80 a piece for 8 mouthfuls of food. She does this all the time. When our youngest sister defended her, it removed all doubt that our parents still pay her bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 151

Boo!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2022 08:00

Today, I excitedly waited to watch the finale and reunion of The Ultimatum on Netflix. It was the worst thing to ever happen to reality TV, which is really saying something considering all the shit out there. It was the only thing I was looking forward to in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 728

Good intentions

By Anonymous - 13/01/2025 00:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I tried to be eco-friendly by bringing my own reusable coffee cup to the café. As I handed it over, the barista said, "Sorry, we can’t use that. It’s company policy." Guess who just looked like an overzealous hipster… FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 419

To the point

By forever alone - 14/05/2022 04:00

Today, after years struggling with obesity, alcoholism, and mental illness, I finally decided I'd fixed myself up enough to try dating. The first girl I went out with said, "You're 31 and you've never dated? Sorry to break it to you, but nobody's going to want to walk a 31-year-old through Dating 101." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 381

You deserved it 216

Canine alarm clock

By ManlyStallion - 21/01/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, my dog woke me up with the sound of vomiting. I immediately got up and tried to figure out what he was doing. After 30 minutes, he didn’t vomit, just kept making the sounds. I banished him from my presence for some more shuteye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 216

Family issues

By thanks bro - 06/03/2021 02:00 - United States

Today, my brother refused to bring his kids to a small family get together for my daughter’s birthday, due to his fear of Covid. Later, I saw online that he was at a huge party for his wife’s family, no masks in sight. When I confronted him, he blocked me and won’t return my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 226

You deserved it 149

Man is a cog in the vast economic machine

By Anonymous - 27/05/2022 18:00

Today, I put my notice in at work after being one of the top performers in my department. They didn’t even acknowledge my notice, they just sent me boxes to return my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 186

Alexa, play "This is a Low" by Blur

By IHaveThePower - 17/08/2023 16:00 - United States - Carson City

Today, the month-long muscle spasms that have been shoving my hips out of joint went to a new low. My whole body feels like I have the flu, with muscle aches and tension. Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome does not mix well with PMDD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 106

Happy/Sad

By McNuggets - 19/08/2023 08:00

Today, I started the job of my dreams, which I’ve spent 20 years trying to get, only to get a call that my mom, who supported me when no one else would or could, went into a coma. I didn’t even get to tell her I started the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 106

Stuck in a rut

By Mary - 23/08/2023 14:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I realized I don't have a family, I only have garbage people who have been sucking my time, my money, and my life from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 132

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The Top

Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 297

You deserved it 7 964

Today, I was getting my chest waxed. The woman dipped the stick into the wax and hit her elbow, making wax fall into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 089

You deserved it 3 734

Today, I had a weird dream I woke up on the bathroom floor at my local gym. Turns out it wasn't a dream, and I passed out from "overworking myself". I was on the treadmill for under 5 minutes, walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 106

You deserved it 14 600

Today, the entire back room of Walmart smelled like cat piss. No one else complained, as they all claimed they couldn’t smell a thing under their masks. I, on the other hand, have a headache and nausea from the overpowering scent despite my mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 147

Today, I tried to propose to my partner in a creative way, but ended up getting stuck in a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 706

Today, not only was I kicked out of the house, but also from the family. What did I do? Fought betrayal with betrayal. What happened? Someone cut my long well kept hair, which they all disapproved of, down to stubble while I was asleep, and they all acted like they knew nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 76