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Father, you mean father

By Anonymous - 17/11/2020 02:02

Today, I found out wife has two baby daddies for our two kids. I’m neither one’s baby daddy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 187

You deserved it 109

Goof friends

By Headshotsgal - 22/04/2023 22:00

Today, I uploaded what I thought were beautiful selfies. One of my "friends" commented, "I've seen what your whole body looks like, so that's why you take only headshots. You're not fooling anybody, fatty." His comment got 18 likes. I took down the photos and spent the rest of my afternoon in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 328

You deserved it 253

So sweet

By Aislinn - 12/02/2022 12:01

Today, my one year-old took his diaper off and peed on my chest while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 199

Pets are life

By mikalovernj - 27/11/2020 14:02

Today, my neighbor asked me to check in on his pet. When I went into his house, I couldn't find any animals. I searched all over, and finally gave up and called him. I asked him what type of pet he had. His response? "My pet rock, Stubby." That's right, I just spent some time looking for a rock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 174

They all look the same to me

By Anonymous - 29/09/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I picked up my daughter from daycare. As we were getting into the car, I strapped her into the car seat, but something felt off. I looked back and realized I had picked up the wrong kid. In my defense, she was wearing the same jacket as my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 622

Proud mama

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my darling first born 23 year-old son just called me, a single mum who works full time, disgusting because I’ve gained weight and been too busy to go to the gym. He’s living at home and not paying rent, despite working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 128

The eternal argument

By Annoyed atheist - 07/05/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I was watching the episode of New Amsterdam where a man's cancer goes into remission very abruptly. As the doctors wonder how the hell that's possible, my mom says, "God." Okay. So if this "God" controls what happens to your body, why is cancer still a thing? My mom is no longer religious. She's delusional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 306

Monster!

By lu… - 08/12/2020 17:02 - United States - San Jose

Today, my mother decided that I'm a complete sociopath and that I don’t care that my grandmother just died. Why? Because I haven’t lost my appetite. My grief response is to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 92

Prove it

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 15:00

Today, my workplace demanded a doctor's note to prove that I can’t stand for long periods, and would benefit from a desk job. I guess my above-the-knee amputation and spinal surgery scars don’t count as evidence, but a piece of paper from a doctor is just fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 132

Manipulation demon

By Cal - 18/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I convinced my daughter to tell my wife that the coworker she’s been getting a bit too close to lately touched her inappropriately so she’d stop interacting with him. After arguing and confrontation between the four of us, my daughter threw me under the bus and told them the truth. Now they’re all mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 1 110

Gold digger

By Anonymous - 26/05/2023 06:00 - United States - Moscow

Today, I asked my boyfriend to help me with groceries, since the last of my money went to last week's groceries. His response was to start a fight, then tell me it's my fault my daughter acts the way she does, which is when he finally got me to break down and cry. I'm pregnant with his kid, and I also pay 90% of our bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 1 011

Heartless

By Zerofilter - 18/02/2022 18:01

Today, my coworker said her dog died. Without thinking, I tried to cheer her up and said, “Oh man, that’s rough. Get it? Ruff? Ruff ruff!” and giggled like a schoolgirl. Nobody laughed. My coworker burst into more tears. I have a Teams video meeting with my supervisor and HR this afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 2 228

Classic brainworms

By Anonymous - 23/10/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was talking to someone on the phone, and then I panicked because I couldn't find it, searching for it while speaking on the phone, asking them to call it. It wasn't until they started laughing did I realise that it was up against my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 464

Merry Christmas

By Jules - 23/12/2020 11:01 - Germany

Today, I'm unemployed and just had to move. My country’s unemployment agency considers that the ideal moment to invite me for a talk about my job search activities is smack dab in the middle of Christmas vacation, while I’m still busy unpacking moving boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 186

Teenage zealot

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 15:00

Today, my daughter was complaining about having no friends. My son told her it’s her own fault for attending church 3 times a week and trying to convert everyone at school like a Jehovah's witness who you can’t shut the door on. He’s 100% right but now she won’t stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 359

Merry Christmas, or not

By Anonymous - 23/12/2020 05:02

Today, I got a quick COVID test and got a positive result. Christmas is in 3 days, my son and husband have to stay with my mom and Christmas is my favorite holiday. I've never been away from them this long and it is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 1 466

Anyone would've ran

By Mike - 25/02/2022 15:59

Today, my friend is mad at me because last night at the midnight show, I “left him there” when he was drunk and thought it would be funny to take a dump in the theater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 106

Disney 2021

By Anonymous - 04/01/2021 14:01

Today, I realised that I'm kinda living the life of a Disney princess, because I'm lonely and all my friends are animals. Yes, I also talk to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 161

Exhausted

By Anonymous - 28/04/2019 12:00 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, I made plans with my boyfriend for some "alone time" after work. I then stepped on some black ice in the parking lot, landed on my head, and got sent to the ER. Per protocol, until cleared by a specialist, I am not permitted to work. Or drive. Or drink. Or do anything "strenuous". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 155

You deserved it 250

Unreasonable

By shary - 12/01/2021 01:59

Today, I was terminated from my job because my boss “felt like it.” My parents have made it clear to me that if I am ever fired from a job, for any reason, they will kick me out on the street and never speak to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 109

Can't compete

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 17:01

Today, my husband told me, "Your job is easy! You do nothing but play and have fun with children all day." Mind you, I'm a toddler teacher and have 10 children in a day. When I come home from work, he complains he’s tired because he was watching our only child who's a toddler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 343

You deserved it 144

Mind your own business

By janie - 10/01/2021 17:01

Today, I'm so skinny that I was told to, “Eat a burger.” While I was eating a burger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 167

By Audrey Anna Grace Somers - 12/05/2019 14:00

Today, I was trying on a dress at my grandmother's house. When I posed for her, she told me she would expand the waist, because I won't be sucking in the whole time I would be wearing it. The joke's on you Grandma, I've been sucking my stomach in since I was twelve years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 362

Pied piper

By Middle Age Divorced Dad - 09/07/2026 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, the school called and their first words were, "We only took our eyes off her for a second." It's worse than you can imagine. My daughter had been digging a hole under the fence at the back of the schoolyard all week. She lead a breakout of her kindergarten class under the fence and down a commuter railway track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 67

Genius mode

By Dumbass Dude - 24/05/2019 14:10

Today, I pulled into a parking lot, for the car to simply shut off because I ran out of gas. Then I couldn't get the key out of the ignition, so I called my dad, who walked all the way to where I was, only to find out that the car was still in drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 2 207

Heavy rotation

By Anonymous - 12/05/2022 10:00

Today, I went to my friends-with-benefits's house as planned. My phone was on do not disturb so I missed the message half an hour before I was supposed to be there, asking to come tomorrow. I arrived and he had another chick there. Most awkward encounter, being asked to leave when she was the last minute plan, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 1 340

Check these out!

By Imdeadalready - 11/07/2023 00:02 - United States - Portage

Today, I meant to send a nice picture of the flowers my boyfriend got me set up in a vase on my nightstand. Turns out I sent it to his mom. My vibrator was in the shot. I'm mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 971

Wild night, huh?

By Anonymous - 06/06/2019 22:00

Today, I had a party at my house. I have a nice laptop that I hook up to the stereo, but someone almost spilt beer on it, so I took it downstairs. Later on in the night, I went down to look something up on it. Someone had taken a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 965

You deserved it 425

Doggy dog world

By Anonymous - 15/02/2021 21:30

Today, someone let my puppy escape. I didn't know, until I arrived home and hit him with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 114

Healthy lifestyle influencer

By I’m done - 26/04/2022 10:00

Today, my already disabled mother is on the brink of becoming bedridden due to her weight. I flat out refused to buy fast food or unhealthy food to keep in the fridge. She started screaming through the wall that I was beating her, until the neighbors called the cops. Sadly, this isn’t the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 579

You deserved it 98

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The Top

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 243

You deserved it 4 179

Today, I was rear-ended while at a stop sign, by my driving instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 695

You deserved it 2 816

Today, my doctor called and asked me when I could have my broken hand x-rayed again. I said the ER staff had told me it was a bad sprain over two weeks ago. I'm now in a full cast, and have to have my partially healed bones re-broken. There goes my summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 960

You deserved it 2 846

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 785

You deserved it 7 073

Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 777

You deserved it 570

Today, I spent an hour listening to my mother-in-law go over the details of how happy my husband was at his wedding, while she went through the photo album and stared at the pictures. The wedding with his first wife. I spend several days each month with her taking care of her, and she does this kind of thing every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 449

You deserved it 229