The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Poor old Johnny

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 12:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I treated my adult daughter to a vintage record player to celebrate three months of sobriety. Now whenever her boyfriend comes over, they crank up the volume on my old vinyls, and I now have to associate Johnny Cash's "Get Rhythm" with them screwing like rabbits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 353

By Erik Aleckson - 05/05/2019 02:00

Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 895

You deserved it 140

Mr Nice Guy

By Anonymous - 23/01/2021 08:02 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, it was our 12th anniversary. My husband only remembered because family members texted to wish us a happy anniversary. When he went out to the store to get groceries, he didn't even buy me flowers. He's also irritated that I "seem sad or something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 119

You deserved it 210

By Devil's Pigeon - 18/04/2017 14:00

Today, on vacation, I had my first encounter with a macaw parrot, who promptly bit my ear and shat on me while amused tourists laughed and took pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 269

You deserved it 422

Great dad

By Anonymous - 28/06/2023 12:00

Today, I found out my son has not one, not two, but three children with various women. I confronted him about this and he truly doesn’t care. He has support payments he hasn’t paid in months, and he doesn’t even know his name of his youngest son, because he doesn’t care enough to remember it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 309

Edmund Hillary

By Anonymous - 29/04/2022 16:00 - United States

Today, my sciatica is so bad that my feet feel like they have frostbite, I don't know what to do. Getting older sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 91

Jealous?

By Jen - 24/01/2021 19:58 - United States

Today, my unborn child's father told me he stood outside of my friend's house for an hour in the snow in the middle of the night because he thought I was with another guy. I was at her house helping with her four kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 152

By Anonymous - 20/05/2019 14:22

Today, I had to cover for a coworker so I worked a 12-hour shift. I worked so late, I missed the final episode of Game of Thrones, which I have been really looking forward to. Guess who texted me, talking about how it ended? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 185

You deserved it 339

Brainwashing

By stuck - 11/05/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, due to some serious health and financial issues, I literally have no choice but to have my mom watch my kids. She's turned my son into the most spoiled insufferable brat, I can’t stand it. Then I feel like I’m punishing him at home for what his grandmother enforces in hers. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 202

Eco-friendly

By Anonymous - 31/01/2021 02:01

Today, my colleague heated 1,5 liters of water, waited visibly impatient the several minutes it took to boil, made himself one cup of tea, then poured the rest down the drain. Maximum amount of time and energy wasted in one go? Check. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 122

Hot shit

By Well, shit - 07/12/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 104

Yada yada yada

By Anonymous - 04/02/2021 21:30

Today, after almost a year of no steady work, I struggled to get anything done once my 7-months pregnant girlfriend woke up at noon. She wanted to talk the whole time, and eventually broke down crying because of her relationship with her mother. I spent the the day consoling her. No wonder I can't get any work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 809

Picture perfect

By Anonymous - 17/04/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend proposed with the perfect ring, restaurant, flowers, and champagne. He’s never been this well prepared for anything in his life, so he admitted that my mother planned the whole thing and forced him to propose, even though neither of us want to get married. She even bought the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 321

You deserved it 173

Moment of self-realization

By Bad fiancee - 19/12/2024 22:00 - Romania

Today, I caught my fiance lying about being at work. Furious, I started breaking his things, demanding to know what skank he'd been sneaking around with. He gave me a stack of receipts, saying he'd been Christmas shopping. He's not cheating, just getting me everything I wanted. God, I'm a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 1 639

Another birthday ruined

By Michael - 13/02/2021 00:30 - Australia - Southport

Today, my girlfriend of one year broke up with me because I started having PTSD induced night terrors. On my birthday as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 94

Overdraft blues

By Anonymous - 16/04/2022 18:00

Today, I got a text from my bank saying that my chequing account is below the threshold amount, and that they will have to charge me if I don’t deposit money soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 219

Nature calls

By anon - 27/07/2023 22:00

Today, my idiot boyfriend, who thinks he's an outdoorsman, made sauce from mushrooms he'd foraged. I refused to eat it. He got upset and had two helpings. He's now in bed, whining about how bad he feels. Stupid dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 191

Worth it

By Anonymous - 19/02/2021 22:58

Today, my mom thought it would be funny to wake me up with a monster mask on, holding a knife, and screaming, "I'm going to kill you!" My first response was to punch her in the face then kick her. Guess who's grounded for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 526

You deserved it 104

Jumping the gun

By mygirlnoloveme - 04/08/2023 08:00

Today, I told the girl of my dreams that my love for her was deeper than the ocean. She laughed hysterically. This wouldn’t be so bad but we happen to be dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 630

All you need is love

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 10:00

Today, my polyamorous friend has 3 boyfriends. My other polyamorous friend has 2 boyfriends and my other other polyamorous friend has a girlfriend and a boyfriend. I'm still single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 205

She works hard for no money…

By shaianne - 10/01/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my job decided not to pay me. I talked to HR about it and they told me it will be “very hard” to fix the issue of my missing paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 62

BFF

By peapapeanut - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, after months of my best friend telling me we were going to be roommates and moving to a new city together, with me trusting her, she ditched me because “everyone” told her not to live with me. She’s still moving, and we’re going to be in the same school and class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 016

You deserved it 220

That's not how anything works

By GodHelpMe - 01/06/2022 00:01

Today, my son got fired from work. He took it upon himself to openly insult his boss, and make racial derogatory jokes against a Hispanic coworker of his. He labeled it “freedom of speech” and is gonna “sue for wrongful termination” for “attempt to censor him for having a different opinion.” He’s 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 308

By Oh. - 23/07/2019 02:00

Today, I told my dad that failing to kill yourself must be really awful, because you think you’ve failed your life and then you even fail your death. My dad who, as I recalled when he shot me a sour look, tried to commit suicide during his youth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 2 536

I'm new to this, sorry

By Fifi - 01/09/2023 06:00

Today, I was eager to learn how to use chopsticks, as I was in a nice Chinese restaurant and had ordered noodles. As I was visibly struggling to eat, the server brought me a fork. When I reached for it, I flicked a noodle into a lady's soup at the next table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 457

They aren't property my dude

By Anonymous - 09/09/2023 14:00

Today, my brother's will left all his wealth to his second wife, while I get left his two kids and a small amount to help cover raising them, because his second wife isn’t mother material. Bitch, neither am I, I love my nieces but I’d go mad if I had to be their new parent. Leave me the money instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 287

Simping

By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 07:59 - India - Bangalore

Today, my girlfriend moved to Germany for her Master's degree and perhaps a PhD. I'm still stuck in this third world mess which we call India. I simped for her and agreed that she can have non-serious relationships with other men. I'm so broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 1 249

No more late night beers

By so this is how today is going to go? - 19/06/2022 04:00

Today, I shit the bed. Like, full on shit. I had to go ahead and throw my clothes away. It made it all the way to the mattress. The worst part, it didn’t even wake me up, my alarm did, so I have no idea how long I was sleeping in my own shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 348

We all grieve in our own ways

By clearkim - 08/04/2021 17:00

Today, it’s the anniversary of my mother’s death. My stepmom decided that since I’m not unusually sad or crying, it must mean I didn’t care that my own mom is dead, and am therefore a psychopath. Anniversaries mean nothing to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 110

Parked out

By penne_pasta580802 - 23/01/2020 14:00

Today, I drove my car to work as I had some errands to do after, even though I only live a few blocks away. After driving round to find a car park for ages, the closest car park available was outside my house. I ended up walking to work instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 919

You deserved it 600

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Annoying Hospital Work Management Language DIY Miscellaneous Relatable Mysterious Awkward Cars Embarrassing Cooking Coworkers Love Anniversary Divorce Transportation Health Surgery Healthy Lifestyle Growing old Technology Money Ironic Animals Relationships Horses Jealousy Birds

The Top

Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 217

You deserved it 1 782

Today, I walked past a girl giving out leaflets for a nightclub. She ignored me the first two times. I dismissed it cynically, thinking she was only giving them to good looking young people. The third time she gave one to a balding 40-year old guy with his pre-teen kid. She still ignored me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 278

You deserved it 5 429

Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 732

You deserved it 5 242

Today, I found out that my fiancé of three years, with whom I share a child, fell in love with my best friend and they’ve been going on dates for the last four months after work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 153

Today, Facebook showed me pictures from five years of a happy time I had traveling with a boyfriend, who later ended our 8-year relationship by telling me he had gotten an apartment and furniture in secret, and was moving out. No warning, no reason, no explanation. He never spoke to me again. I loved him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 921

You deserved it 229

Today, my demented mother-in-law had my dog euthanized while I was on vacation, because he was, "too feral and disorderly." Why? Because he, "peed on the grass." I had that dog for 9 years. Why couldn’t my husband put her in a nursing home instead? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 605

You deserved it 111