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By Broke as a joke - 04/05/2019 04:00

Today, I received the bill for my trip to the ER months ago. Almost $1000 for a quick 2.5 hour stay, only to find out that I had bad gas from drinking far too much of the seltzer I had bought on sale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 562

You deserved it 985

By Crystal Crackles - 06/12/2018 05:00

Today, I used my rear windsheild wiper and it shattered a large hole in the glass where the rotating part is. No one can repair the window until tomorrow afternoon. It's snowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 534

You deserved it 194

The sweet smell of…

By Anonymous - 04/03/2017 14:00

Today, my not-quite-potty-trained toddler niece had a 'wee accident' in my bed. I used towels to mop it up and changed the sheets. Later, I had the bright idea to dry it faster by turning the electric blanket on high. Now my room smells like burned urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 961

You deserved it 6 605

Debate bro

By Anonymous - 23/01/2021 14:00 - Austria - Graz

Today, I realized my boyfriend never argues with me when I'm right, but goes to great lengths when I'm not. As a result, in the five years we've been together, he has won every single argument we ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 1 866

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 00:07

Today, I was sitting in Walmart when I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with, "You know I'm a guy, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 1 789

How? Why? What?

By Anonymous - 05/03/2021 05:01

Today, I wore leggings without underwear. When I got in the car after a busy shopping day, I realized that my pubes had poked through the fabric and my bush was on the outside of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 2 230

By Anonymous - 15/07/2017 00:30 - Italy - Verona

Today, as I woke up, the first thing I saw was a bee on my hand. I tried not to make the slightest move, waiting for it to fly away without stinging me. The second thing I saw was my cat jumping at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 795

You deserved it 453

Take a number

By Anonymous - 09/09/2019 00:01

Today, the guy I've been flirting with for a week, and would be meeting in two days, sent me a message that he wouldn't be able to text me this evening because he'll be on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 557

You deserved it 285

By Brain_fart - 18/09/2017 13:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I found out that both of my cats are afraid of mice. So far I've seen them run and hide from 3 different mice who've recently invaded my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 223

You deserved it 353

Seems fair

By Milly - 23/10/2023 02:00

Today, my boyfriend gave me a used Nintendo Switch for my birthday. I got mad that he gave me a used one, since I'm worth more than that. Now I have no boyfriend and no Switch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 2 536

By Brightbulb - 17/11/2017 05:00 - United States

Today, I went to work feeling great. I'd just paid off my student loans and was planning a trip to see friends in Italy. I left work unemployed because a fraud case I exposed 3 years ago got the company sued for slander. It was thrown out because everything was fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 823

You deserved it 376

Who won?

By AkaiKitsune - 16/11/2017 01:30 - Canada - Victoria

Today, my horse and I got into a disagreement over the jumps. I thought "we" should be going over them. He thought "I" should be going over them instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 693

You deserved it 541

By TheLostCauseFML - 31/12/2017 15:00 - United States - Quitman

Today, I'm so broke that I had a money nightmare. I'd accidentally purchased a single potato for exactly $22 and it was non-refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 725

You deserved it 471

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 30/10/2019 12:00

Today, I heard a man call a girl a r*tard. Furious, I stormed up to him and demanded he apologize for using such a vile slur. The girl started laughing her ass off and said, "Mind your own business, r*tard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 3 173

Welcome to the Splash Zone!

By Vomitoid - 07/02/2018 01:30

Today, we had a test in history. My best friend, who was sitting right behind me, had forgotten about it and put his finger in his throat to vomit. It sprayed all over his desk, his pants, and the entirety of my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 319

You deserved it 354

Very frustrating

By Anonymous - 18/01/2020 05:00

Today my Assistant Manager decided to pull a prank on me by walking up behind me and screaming my name. I screamed in terror and then swung around and punched him, full force, dead center in the chest, right in front of my supervisor, manager, and several other employees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 458

You deserved it 278

By Joboi23 - 07/03/2018 19:00

Today, I matched with a woman on Tinder with whom I'd already talked on another dating app. The conversation had died out pretty quickly, so I was surprised she gave me a second chance. Her first message was to tell me how boring I was on the other app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 110

You deserved it 787

By mother of piggies - 04/04/2018 15:00

Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 130

You deserved it 429

New Romantics

By sallyfradoodle - 13/03/2020 21:00

Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 634

You deserved it 452

Romantic afterglow

By easyontheeyes1 - 01/05/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 502

When you lie on your resume to get the job

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my boyfriend and I are devastated to return our newly adopted "cat friendly" dog to the shelter. He's perfect, other than the fact that he clearly wants to eat our cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 723

You deserved it 468

Behave!

By Anonymous - 06/08/2018 06:00 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 333

You deserved it 1 155

By iDontLikeMySiblingsThatMuch - 12/08/2018 20:30

Today, my husband of 10 years decided only after I told him I wanted a divorce that his niece is also his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 065

You deserved it 286

By the-yao - 24/01/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 922

You deserved it 3 818

Priorities

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 20:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, despite being an incredible single mother to my only child, and loving him more than anyone else could, my son still completely ignored me and my attempts to hug him at his gender reveal party with his wife. Apparently she deserved a hug more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 2 175

Rude

By Anonymous - 30/08/2020 02:01

Today, my brother-in-law still insists on referring to me as "his brother's wife" and tells everyone I'm not his "sister-in-law." I've been married to his brother for 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 496

You deserved it 183

Nebo baby

By Anonymous - 25/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Floral Park

Today, I was fired from the job I've had for 15 years. My boss recently hired his daughter as a senior manager and she made several cuts because, as she put it, the sales team was "too old and lame". I didn't know being a young bitch was a requirement to work at a furniture warehouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 012

You deserved it 146

By Jamie - 11/11/2018 12:00 - United States

Today, to get back at me for our recent breakup, my ex put a "9/11 was an inside job!" bumper sticker on my car. I work for the government in New York City, and I just got a text saying that my manager wants to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 461

You deserved it 286

By Sucks2suck - 20/11/2018 05:00

Today, I received an invitation to my ex’s wedding. We were dating for three years and just broke up four months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 143

You deserved it 231

By Druggie - 07/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Culver City

Today, after a week of being tired and depressed, I realized my bottles for anti-depressants and muscle relaxants had gotten switched around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 686

You deserved it 1 501

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The Top

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 848

You deserved it 4 929

Today, I got out of bed and immediately went to the window as it was supposed to snow today. I saw a man walking his dog and he waved at me. I waved back enthusiastically and realised I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 135

You deserved it 31 856

Today, I flew into New Zealand to surprise my girlfriend on her trip. In the New Zealand Airport I received a text message saying she wanted to break up with me. I live in Michigan and just spent $1,500 for this romantic surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 731

You deserved it 7 389

Today, I got an angry text, asking me why I wasn't at the staff dinner. I've been gone for the last 2 weeks, and I wasn't told about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 117

Today, I saw photos of my roommate a recent party. OK, I'll admit I'm a little dark-skinned, but was it really necessary for him to color his face in black marker so he could go as "me" for a Halloween party? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 326

You deserved it 223

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about my uncle who committed suicide when I was younger. When I tried to remember his name, my mind went completely blank. It was bugging me all day, until I remembered halfway through the movie we were watching. It took me a whole day to remember my deceased uncle's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 186