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By clementine8 - 14/02/2009 06:23 - United States

Today, my Mom came to pay me a short visit at college. She handed me some flowers, which were a Valentine's Day gift, because she "figured I wouldn't be getting any from anyone else this year." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 544

You deserved it 2 806

By Flavorite - 10/02/2009 19:35 - United States

Today, my boss asked me to pick up an extra shift. I said I couldn't because I have a date. He told me I didn't need to lie and to just say no next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 600

You deserved it 2 853

Here we go again

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I went to the dentist and found out I still have a wisdom tooth. I got all four out last summer… or at least I thought I did. Now I have to go back and get it removed. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 665

You deserved it 242

Shocking reaction

By Anonymous - 01/07/2020 14:00

Today, I was replacing some outlets for work and I got surprise-electrified. I threw my wire strippers in the air while yelling, "Oh fuck me." The homeowner and his 2 kids were standing 3 feet away. He was not happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 353

You deserved it 683

By Somethingtoworryabout - 26/10/2018 22:00

Today, I couldn't help but laugh at my girlfriend because she always becomes paranoid when she's around cars. I found her reaction cute and told her that "there's nothing to worry about". A car ran over me two hours later. I'm in a hospital now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 668

You deserved it 849

Philosophical

By Too available to be sexy - 04/05/2019 20:00

Today, during foreplay, my husband asked if I found him sexually attractive. When I asked him back, after a yes, he was silent for two minutes then went into a ten-minute philosophical discussion on the nature of attractiveness. He would find me more attractive if I wasn't his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 725

You deserved it 334

By Anon - 17/03/2017 18:00 - Australia

Today, arriving home with my boyfriend after a night away, we opened our bedroom door to find his younger brother and a girl naked in our bed. She looked at me, looked at him and said, "Ew. Who's that?" She then asked for a pair of socks, because she had, "rank feet". FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 408

You deserved it 433

By not my fault you’re a vapid idiot - 01/04/2019 16:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, my coworker told everyone on staff that I’m a stuck up bitch because I stared blankly at her when she tried to talk to me. I tried to listen, but I zoned out after she rambled on endlessly about the Kardashians and Kanye West. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 430

You deserved it 215

By wantsleep - 28/12/2016 08:25

Today, my boss continues to think it's appropriate to send me whining texts about work at midnight. Or 4 a.m. I think his complaints about not selling as much candy as he expected can wait till work hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 795

You deserved it 331

#MentalHealthAwarenessWeek

By a816090 - 15/05/2019 04:30

Today, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I have no idea if when I feel an emotion if it's me or my disorder. I'm my brain's bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 817

You deserved it 189

Effed up

By sunny_funny - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Cyprus - Nicosia

Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 371

You deserved it 1 208

By The Dishwasher - 07/06/2017 22:00 - Canada - Guelph

Today, I started work at catering company. I was aware that I'd be cleaning dishes, but they forgot to warn me how many. Needless to say, after polishing 527 glasses, my hands hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 713

You deserved it 1 127

That one friend

By meesa in big doo do dis time! - 13/06/2017 12:00

Today, I learned that all of my "friends" refer to me as the, "Jar Jar Binks" of our circle of friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 544

You deserved it 482

By jxfc - 07/11/2016 08:11 - United States - Tracy

Today, as I was helping a customer, she asked if it was my first day and who was training me. Evidently, I'm bad at my job, because I've worked there for 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 622

You deserved it 1 544

Love isn't…

By bruh - 20/07/2019 06:20

Today, I found out my boyfriend made a move to hook up with my best friend. She was about to reciprocate, only for him to suddenly tell her that she’s a horrible friend, and then he told me about it. I’m not sure if I should be picking sides here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 756

You deserved it 225

Quack quack quack

By mikki_arlert - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my mother threatened my psychiatrist with legal action because he told her the organic and herbal "medicine" she swears by don't actually "cure" mental illness like she claims. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 941

You deserved it 779

Sorry mate, you're on your own

By LivingBroke - 21/08/2017 20:01

Today, I signed the lease for a flat that a mate and I decided to move into. About five minutes after leaving the renting agency, I received a text from my mate saying he couldn't move in with me after all. I am now the happy tenant of a large inner city flat that I can't afford. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 265

You deserved it 500

HELP!

By SeatofIgnorance - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 767

You deserved it 5 497

Time to GTFO

By Anonymous - 06/10/2023 12:30

Today, my girlfriend cheated on me, and for the second time in two days. She has now cheated a total of 7 times in the space of 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 1 177

By Dan V - 05/09/2016 06:35 - United States - Troy

Today, I found out my co-worker had made plans for a night out, just as I'd cancelled all of mine to work with him on a project for the next 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 067

You deserved it 861

By Jack - 09/08/2016 00:23 - United States - Asheville

Today, my mom said, "I'm sorry your life is such shit." She meant it as an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 000

You deserved it 1 364

Who's the worst?

By good mom - 06/11/2019 04:00 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, despite the fact that I own my home, car and have a career, I was once again told that I’ve shamed my family by being a single mom. Meanwhile, my brother has four kids with three different women and constantly hits up every family member for money. He gets nothing but just support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 283

You deserved it 197

By Eric John Los - 29/01/2018 19:00 - United States - Haydenville

Today, I wore a coat that was too tight. The button gave way and quickly flew about ten feet to hit my very attractive new coworker right in the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 881

You deserved it 984

Not my turn

By Perry85 - 10/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she says "Don't cum in me, my husband has plans for later." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 320

You deserved it 1 036

Witches Brew

By Hellassi - 09/07/2021 00:01

Today, my stepmom burned all my Harry Potter stuff. Apparently, Harry Potter is the "Devil’s plan to corrupt good Christian children" and "That shit is make believe anyway." What did my dad ever see in this evil witch? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 147

Photoshopped

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, when I visited my grandmother at her nursing home, I was looking at pictures she had of all the grandkids. All were normal graduation pictures etc. but mine was a cutout where she made me skinnier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 974

You deserved it 4 055

By C. Kronick - 11/02/2009 05:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started affectionately calling me "Burt Reynolds" because I wax my upper lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 942

You deserved it 5 465

Funny how?

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom was telling me a funny story about when I was young. I said, "Yeah I was funny, huh?" She replied, "Yep, I had a funny one and a pretty one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 978

You deserved it 2 765

Cropped Out

By steph - 15/07/2018 15:00 - United States

Today, my cousins cropped me out of a picture of all six of us at a wedding, then captioned it, "We have such a good-looking family!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 963

You deserved it 284

By Anonymous - 06/08/2018 22:00

Today, I learned that the "nasty smell" in my room, which I cannot detect, does not exist. It was just my stepmother trying to make me go insane deep-cleaning my room for her personal amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 100

You deserved it 281

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The Top

Today, a man sat next to me on a train carriage, despite various empty seats. During a weird conversation, I told him that I'm on my way back from London after seeing a friend from Germany there. He goes on to talk about Nazis and, with one arm in the air, asks me if he's doing the salute right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 393

You deserved it 970

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 901

You deserved it 12 885

Today, after a guided meditation class, our instructor asked us all to name the thing we are most thankful for. My fiancé, completely serious, answered, "Nintendo." When the teacher looked at him, slightly incredulously, he changed his answer to, "Our dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 644

You deserved it 609

Today, after months of being called paranoid, distrusting and over-possessive by my girlfriend for being suspicious of her, I learned that she really is cheating on me with her coworker. When confronted, she called me ignorant, gullible and naive for believing her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 525

You deserved it 439

Today, at the age of 21, I learned that the phrase, “A stitch in time saves nine” is not about traveling back in time and saving nine people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 783

Today, I got to find out for myself if dying in a dream causes you to die in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 196