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op here! i submitted this two weeks ago and every thing is fine now, did get induced about four days later. since this is my first baby, it was expected of me to go over the due date :P we're both happy, healthy, and chilling with the new window ac.

By jacie - 18/11/2018 15:30

Today, I tried on a pair of pants in a dressing room and they didn’t fit. However, my period came suddenly and left a massive bloodstain, so I had to buy them anyway. In case you’re wondering, the pants were white, the cashier was male and cute, and he definitely noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 238

You deserved it 401

By Anonymous - 10/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Houston

Today, my wedding ring came off in a Walmart bathroom and fell into the toilet. It was an automatic toilet. It flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 879

You deserved it 850

How could you?

By failing - 27/04/2017 22:00 - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, after searching frantically for my economics notes for a week, I asked my friend to send me pictures of hers. I recognised my handwriting on the pictures she sent me and she admitted she'd "borrowed" them. The exam is in three days and she refuses to meet me and give my notes back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 581

You deserved it 382

By Anonymous - 29/06/2017 21:00 - Italy

Today, I played back the images of the tiny camera I attached to the collar of my cat to figure out where she goes when she disappears for several days at a time. I found my husband with another woman in our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 606

You deserved it 389

Poop

By Roma - 16/06/2017 20:00 - United States - Chevy Chase

Today I asked my mother-in-law to borrow a plunger, so she asked what I needed it for. "Poop," I replied. "I've told you this before," she huffed, "you have to poop a little and then flush, poop a little and flush. You can't go all at once." I can't even shit right for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 437

You deserved it 559

By dumbblonde - 13/07/2019 00:31

Today, I figured out that the roommate who I let move in with me on Sunday is probably a prostitute. I’m a lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 423

By graphite01 - 01/11/2016 04:08 - United States - Eugene

Today, I found out that I was never actually enrolled in the class I've been attending all semester. I guess that explains why I only got $400 dollars in student aid, not the 1,200 they said I'd get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 722

You deserved it 1 263

Teenagers

By Chuncan Duncan - 01/04/2021 16:59 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I can’t decide if we should force my stepson to wait when he rudely demands something, in the hope he’ll learn patience and some manners, or just give him what he wants so he’ll go away and stop making us miserable. He’s 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 1 346

By lene - 17/02/2009 21:53 - United States

Today, the ninth grade dean called me into his office to talk. He asked me if I was new, because it seemed like I was having trouble making friends. I've been going to the same school, with the same people, since kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 470

You deserved it 3 382

Are you lonesome tonight?

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my two best friends decided to boycott Valentine's Day, ditching their boyfriends to hang out together. Not only am I single, but I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 793

You deserved it 2 703

By Anonymous - 11/08/2018 01:30

Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 880

You deserved it 365

By khannnn - 20/03/2016 18:25 - United States

Today, looking to hire new tech support members, but due to not looking over any resumés, my ex-wife is now one of our potential candidates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 092

You deserved it 7 513

Entitled

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while I was working at Starbucks, a customer dumped a hot chocolate on me and yelled, saying it wasn't his order. The order actually belonged to a 4-year-old boy with the same name, who started screaming when he didn't get his chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 392

You deserved it 620

By weatherlike - 02/09/2008 05:12 - Cuba

Today, it’s been a week since I arrived in Cuba. Gustav came to visit us. Now it’s Hannah’s turn. Ike and Josephine want to come and say hi too. They’re not friends of ours, but rather the next cyclones that may pass by the island. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 90

By ashlyrose45 - 27/12/2016 06:03 - Canada - Whitby

Today, I went back to my friends place drunk. As we were walking in, she told me to be quiet, so as not to wake her parents and let them know we were drunk. I then walked in and looked at her parents, who were still awake watching TV, and said, "Shhh. Meg told me not to wake her parents." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 752

You deserved it 3 259

ashlyrose45 tells us more.

ashlyrose45 12

Monday 2 January 2017 3:17

Didn't realize this got posted! But her parents knew we were out drinking so it wasn't a big deal :) it was just really late, like 3 or 4 in the morning, so she figured they'd be asleep. Felt pretty stupid when I woke up!

By invasive species - 07/11/2016 15:08

Today, my step-mom tried to ground me. I met her just yesterday, when she moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 771

You deserved it 754

By dangerwaiter - 19/06/2017 14:49

Today, as a waiter, I was bringing drinks to a table that included a 3-month-old baby. I accidentally spilled a beer on the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 969

You deserved it 1 078

Tiny Terror tells us more.

Tiny Terror 19

Saturday 17 June 2017 16:42

Hi, I submitted this FML. I'm not the waiter, but I was part of the table he was serving. It was my sister's baby and while she was upset, by the end of the dinner she realized mistakes happen. We just changed the baby, cleaned/wiped things up and had to do some laundry that night!