The Top

As soon as I said it I realised the implications and just had to laugh. We both got a good chuckle out of it. I thought it would do the same for all of you so I thought I would share.

By Outfoxed - 07/08/2018 22:00

Today, I'm moving to the barn. Two weeks ago I bought my girlfriend the birthday gift she most wanted: two ducklings. They’re scatting everywhere but she eats, cuddles, and sleeps with them in our bed. I asked if they could go live outside and she said, "No, you can." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 754

You deserved it 705

By moronicmoroccan - 23/01/2009 10:16 - Philippines

Today, we received a wedding invitation from a couple who are renting an apartment from us. They haven't paid rent for several months. My father is listed as the "principal sponsor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 223

You deserved it 2 379

By pubquizgenius - 27/01/2010 08:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a tense tiebreak round to win the local pub quiz. As the quizmaster read out more clues, I got the answer, got up and rushed to be the first team to the bar. I tripped, faceplanted. The whole bar laughed, and then I realized that it wasn't a "fastest to the bar" round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 877

You deserved it 25 412

By traumatized - 11/11/2018 03:00 - Canada - Joliette

Today, I accidentally opened my dad's sex tape. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 631

You deserved it 2 123

Rare insults corner

By ButImBeautiful - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, a little girl came up to me and told me I looked like a foot. Thanks a bunch, darling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 733

You deserved it 698

By Uhg - 10/03/2019 02:00

Today, my spouse made it clear that they would rather play video games than be intimate with me. I've tried everything, but get nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 362

You deserved it 427

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The Top

Today, one of my friends made it to school. He has been sick recently, missing days out of the week. When I saw him, I greeted him with, "Were you dying yesterday?" Apparently he wasn't, but his grandmother really did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 425

You deserved it 4 342

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 057

You deserved it 5 869

Today, I was watching anime in my room when my mom walked in with fresh laundry. It would've been fine at literally any other moment, but the scene on at the time involved girls groping each other in a hot spring. Now she's accusing me of being in cartoon porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 277

You deserved it 894

Today, my phone chose not to deliver a message to my girlfriend. This isn't the first time either; It has a habit of failing to deliver or receive messages to/from her, making it look like I'm ignoring her by not responding. It only does this with her, none of my other contacts. My phone may be trying to sabotage my relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 166

Today, as always, I had to change clothes and reapply my deodorant as soon as I got to work. It’s only a kilometre walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 130

Today, I was talking on the internet about my goal to get back up to a healthy weight. Their responses consisted of, “Uh, don’t you mean DOWN?” No, I meant up. I had a stomach condition for months that made me puke if I so much as thought about food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 144