The Top

For anybody wondering, it was "Medieval 2 Total War" on very hard mode. I don't own a microphone, and don't play Call of Duty. Watching the Iberian peninsula falling to unstoppable Moorish hordes really tugs at the heartstrings though, y'know?

By Tristan Brantley - 11/03/2012 07:36 - United States

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 952

You deserved it 3 403

Mommy knows best?

By Mamasboyhater - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me because his mom told him to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 194

You deserved it 5 729

Bizarre love triangle

By addicted2v - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 616

You deserved it 4 265

By anonymous - 19/03/2011 10:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 318

You deserved it 8 531

By pillowless - 13/10/2011 14:41 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 988

You deserved it 2 415

By idiotfriend - 16/06/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I rented some movies in attempts to cheer up my best friend. Her husband just died a few weeks ago in a helicopter accident. I was in a rush and didn't read the descriptions of the two films, one was about a plane crash where all the passengers died. She cried through the entire movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 740

You deserved it 87 834

By SydIsPrettyCool - 04/08/2011 05:44 - United States

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 166

You deserved it 3 399

Silver linings?

By blutownie13 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I told my ex-boyfriend I lost 20lbs due to the stress of the break up. His response was, "You're welcome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 947

You deserved it 28 215

MOVE!

By AHole - 21/11/2012 14:03 - United States - Grand Forks

Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 848

You deserved it 76 020

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 11:51 - United States - Desoto

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 810

You deserved it 4 659

By Anonymous - 30/10/2012 19:34 - United States

Today, I found my fiancé is cheating on me. Our wedding is in 26 days and everything is already paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 806

You deserved it 2 641

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria when one of my friends yelled out "Jake is uncircumcised!" as a joke. The girl I have a crush on was sitting at the table behind me and turned around and asked if it was true. I said yes, she responded with "wow, hope I never have to see that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 129

You deserved it 4 437

Today, after I'd left the love of my life because he didn't want kids, got into another relationship, he now tells me he's changed his mind about having kids, 5 years in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 242

Today, my 61 year-old father snatched a letter from my hands and threw four different fits because he misread it four different times, then yelled at me for "not reading it properly." I had to explain it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 94

Today, I stopped watching porn at 6 a.m. to Google if depression makes you not able to cum. I was masturbating because I can't sleep. Insomnia is also a sign of depression. There's no joy at night anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 250

Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 277

Today, I was at a baseball game. This kid in front of me had binoculars and was constantly shouting. Trying to amuse the girl next to me, I leaned over and said, "That kid probably has wet dreams about baseball." She got up and said to the kid, "Come on honey, we're leaving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 3 578