Kids, Pregnancy, Weird, Awkward and Babies: Weird family

Weird family

By Pinsky - 22/08/2021 00:01

Today, I learned I’m shooting blanks and can’t have children. My wife’s response was that her brother can be our sperm donor. She has no issue with this. FML

agreeclassic 1 245

vote type 1 110

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By Derek - 05/08/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that my kids are both my half-brothers, and the fertility tests my wife had us do a few years ago showed that I'm sterile. She didn't tell me until I found the test results in her desk and asked her about it. FML

agreeclassic 5 063

vote type 1 288

By dazzla08 - 26/03/2011 00:07

Today, in front of my family, my brother's wife announced that she was pregnant with their first child. Everyone joked around and said I was next. Two weeks ago I found out that I'm sterile. FML

agreeclassic 54 640

vote type 1 3 364

By sosad - 09/03/2011 22:08

Today, I was told that I will never be able to have children. Thankfully for my husband, his girlfriend sure can. FML

agreeclassic 53 463

vote type 1 3 660

This Charming Man

By Anonymous - 06/02/2022 00:01

Today, my wife and I have been trying for kids for years and nothing, yet my deadbeat brother just ran out on his third pregnant girlfriend in a row, with no intention of meeting the baby ever. FML

agreeclassic 1 208

vote type 1 151

Family coincidence

By Anonymous - 06/11/2019 02:30

Today with a DNA test, I found out that my husband is my half brother. 30 years ago his father made a donation to the sperm bank my mother used, and I’m the result. To make matters worse, I’m pregnant. FML

agreeclassic 3 817

vote type 1 217

Trust

By Anonymous - 03/02/2024 05:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my wife revealed to me that the doctor at the fertility clinic where we stored embryos is her ex-boyfriend. She’s now furious that I don’t trust that our freezer babies are mine. FML

agreeclassic 531

vote type 1 340

The boy is mine

By Not the daddy-o - 01/03/2023 02:00

Today, I found out that I’m not the father of my “son” but I'm his uncle. The only thing my wife did was to shrug and say, “Shit happens.” FML

agreeclassic 1 315

vote type 1 162

By Ford - 03/01/2018 01:30

Today, a child that was born due to my donation to a sperm bank in 1995 contacted me. My current wife, who I met in 2003, is convinced I cheated on her and is filing for a divorce. FML

agreeclassic 5 723

vote type 1 551

By Xandar - 09/11/2018 17:30

Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML

agreeclassic 3 479

vote type 1 529

Three kids?

By Anonymous - 08/01/2020 20:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got the results proving if my ex-girlfriend's kid was mine. The results came back negative and I can't have kids. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have 3 kids with my wife. FML

agreeclassic 3 201

vote type 1 320

Annies 17

Sunday 22 August 2021 0:10

Excuse me...HER brother!? Not yours but hers!??? Did I read that right?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 22 August 2021 0:40

He probably already is.

Comments

EBrogen 12

Tuesday 24 August 2021 1:51

I just came here for the comments.

Dylan Borg 12

Friday 10 September 2021 16:24

This reminds me of Rick and Morty's giant incest baby. Your wife sure is big on keeping the bloodline clean.

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Keywords

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Today, I was walking on my crutches towards the bus through the rain. The bus driver looked into my eyes, punching the button to close the doors while I was still a few meters away. As he drove off, he kept his eyes on me, while I had to wait for another 15 minutes for the next bus in the rain. FML

agreeclassic 23 464

vote type 1 1 453

Today, I was replacing some outlets for work and I got surprise-electrified. I threw my wire strippers in the air while yelling, "Oh fuck me." The homeowner and his 2 kids were standing 3 feet away. He was not happy. FML

agreeclassic 1 352

vote type 1 677

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has a thing for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant though, my roommate is. FML

agreeclassic 40 309

vote type 1 3 571

Today, at my new job, I took some food out to a customer. Walking away, I heard a lady mumble, "Oh my God, you could never pay me enough to wear that." FML

agreeclassic 25 579

vote type 1 3 538

Today, after I had planned a romantic weekend for my boyfriend and me, with an itinerary of dinner, events and outings, it got cut short when he had to have his cat put down, which he had for 12 years. FML

agreeclassic 437

vote type 1 77

Today, I had to sell my only means of transportation, my 92 Chrysler Lebaron, to a junking company because the transmission blew. When the guy finally got there, I had to shovel out the 5 feet of snow around my car, help him push it, and help him hook it up. Then his dog bit me. I only got $100. FML

agreeclassic 26 686

vote type 1 2 842