Intimacy: Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many... - FML

By robotchickens - 10/03/2010 19:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

agreeclassic 26 211

vote type 1 2 712

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By flowerchildd2 - 12/12/2011 23:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

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By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

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By annabellatrix - 14/09/2015 18:20 - Hungary

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Today, a pervert was visibly playing with himself right next to me on the train. Then on the bus. Then on the other bus I changed to in order to lose him. At least somebody's interested. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 22:00

Spicy

Today, on the bus, a man in his late 30s sat next to me. After a moment, he turned to me and said with a wink, "You must be ovulating, I can smell your vagina." FML

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By Anonymous - 11/06/2015 21:20 - United States - Helena

Spicy

Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML

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By missprude666 - 19/01/2012 08:32 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

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By pokeballbra - 17/10/2011 05:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with, "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML

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By bridezilla - 05/07/2009 04:12 - Canada

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

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By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

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Thanks for sharing

By uni life - 15/05/2012 08:08 - Australia - Perth

Spicy

Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

aardvarkish 16

Wednesday 10 March 2010 23:26

I'm all ears

KaylynKicks 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 23:26

oooooo sexy! what a turn on

Comments

paperisuseful 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 23:45

ydi for having orifices

LaLaJuice 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 23:46

lmao @45

awesomechica1229 5

Wednesday 10 March 2010 23:47

chill dude it's a comment, you'll survive :)

natepyron 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 23:49

use context clues retard..

DGross 8

Wednesday 10 March 2010 23:51

47... it's like offices... there are many different rooms in a building but which one you pick is ultimately your call... some like a traditional room while others are into kinkier... I mean "more colorful" rooms :-P

samantha_durano 6

Wednesday 10 March 2010 23:54

haha that's not wierd at all.

JackRocksSoSuckI 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 23:56

haha bitch

Fedor_is_KING 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 23:56

Chill out and pop some pills Matt.

peskoly 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 23:57

you should have replied with all the many things you've made up on fml

megissocool 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 23:58

uhmm ok...kick him then pour hot coffee on his head(to add extra pain!) that'll teach him!!!

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Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

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Today, I came to found out that every time my husband told me that he was on "a work trip", he was actually cheating on me with some other bitch. FML

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vote type 1 76

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

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vote type 1 40 028

Today, my maid of honor and best friend of 10 years won't answer my texts and blocked me on social media. This is because last night she and my fiancé got into a huge drunken fight about who loved me more and she stormed off. I get married in 5 hours and I have no idea where she is. FML

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Today, I slipped walking down the stairs. My mom thought I sprained my right ankle. In her haste to get me to the doctor, she grabbed me and accidentally tripped me. I broke my left ankle. The right one was fine. FML

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Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

agreeclassic 24 237

vote type 1 3 641