Love: Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed....

By Mouhahaa - 09/05/2012 03:48 - France

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

agreeclassic 21 665

vote type 1 36 390

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By ouch - 16/06/2016 10:14 - United States - Livonia

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML

agreeclassic 13 400

vote type 1 2 021

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

agreeclassic 1 145

vote type 1 1 001

Chop chop

By shaz - 27/04/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML

agreeclassic 704

vote type 1 132

By Prae - 01/10/2012 05:47 - United States - Dallas

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

agreeclassic 24 705

vote type 1 2 122

911 please

By hurts - 04/05/2009 18:48 - Canada

Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML

agreeclassic 66 686

vote type 1 4 996

Happy wife, happy life, right?

By tradwife blues - 22/08/2023 15:02 - United States

Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML

agreeclassic 928

vote type 1 165

Fork off

By Godzilla’s wife - 28/12/2024 18:00 - United States - Orange

Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML

agreeclassic 346

vote type 1 120

By Anonymous - 10/08/2013 04:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

agreeclassic 65 781

vote type 1 6 095

By PanFace - 13/10/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

agreeclassic 11 126

vote type 1 121 423

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 09:37 - Australia

Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML

agreeclassic 35 489

vote type 1 3 862

Pug_On_Fleek 11

Sunday 2 July 2017 23:27

Never takes someone's fries...ok that's the number one rule while ordering fries

Monnlight 12

Wednesday 1 November 2017 19:34

Over reaction

Comments

Pug_On_Fleek 11

Sunday 2 July 2017 23:27

Never takes someone's fries...ok that's the number one rule while ordering fries

Monnlight 12

Wednesday 1 November 2017 19:34

Over reaction

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I was so desperate for a friend that I posted a Craigslist ad to find one. Now my phone's filled with spam and I still don't have any friends. FML

agreeclassic 9 687

vote type 1 2 824

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

agreeclassic 37 182

vote type 1 3 838

Today, after I watched my girlfriend get her head shaved in preparation for chemo a few days ago, I took the clippers and buzzed my long, well kept hair, gave her a loving hug, reminding her that, "We're at this together." She later broke up with me because I, pretty much, "look like shit." FML

agreeclassic 544

vote type 1 112

Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML

agreeclassic 43 694

vote type 1 5 211

Today, I figured out the best way to endure my wife's lack of sex drive: whenever she complains, I lose the urge myself. Works like a charm, because she complains all the time. FML

agreeclassic 1 603

vote type 1 269

Today, after months of enduring my neighbor's relentlessly yapping schnauzer, Molly, I moved into a new building. I was greeted by my new neighbor and her yapping rat terrier, Molly. FML

agreeclassic 43 326

vote type 1 4 036