Intimacy: Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on...

By countryblumpkin - 01/08/2013 18:06 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

agreeclassic 66 119

vote type 1 7 172

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Romantic

By Anonymous - 22/01/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML

agreeclassic 32 931

vote type 1 6 876

Romance

By shortyybrooke - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my wife sat beside me on the ledge of the bathtub because she wanted to make out. I was on the toilet. Shitting. FML

agreeclassic 3 729

vote type 1 542

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 05:56 - United States - Silverdale

Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML

agreeclassic 35 180

vote type 1 7 837

Hot shit

By Well, shit - 07/12/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

agreeclassic 569

vote type 1 102

By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 18:28 - United States

Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML

agreeclassic 48 520

vote type 1 7 376

By Helseac - 17/12/2018 03:00

Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML

agreeclassic 2 768

vote type 1 461

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

agreeclassic 30 973

vote type 1 6 547

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 20/08/2021 20:01

Today, my husband shit himself a little during sex, but tried to keep going because he was "so close" and didn’t want to ruin the orgasm. I, of course, shoved him away but it was already down my leg and had stained our cream bedsheets. FML

agreeclassic 2 529

vote type 1 202

Sensitive

By airbiscuit - 21/01/2013 12:36 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

agreeclassic 55 144

vote type 1 6 512

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

agreeclassic 15 386

vote type 1 1 531

dalink 24

Friday 2 August 2013 1:42

So so so disgusting... And unhygienic.

Black_Rose97 9

Friday 2 August 2013 1:43

well isnt that a load of crap... anyone?

Comments

baconofthepan 7

Sunday 8 March 2015 8:27

Isn't this called a blumpkin? Something like that lol

kevinsagirl2323 8

Friday 13 October 2017 15:42

that is just so disgusting. What is wrong with him???

Sashiee Chuu 8

Wednesday 15 November 2017 18:53

While I believe that it's okay to have kinks that others don't, if you're not into that then it's not cool to try and convince you. Personally I wouldn't go anywhere near poop in a sexual situation >.> Also, the idea that you would have an ****** from zero stimulation is laughable. It's possible but oh so rare.