Health: Today, my friend figured out that if you poke my neck I scratch...

By Cait - 30/01/2017 20:00 - Canada - Olds

Today, my friend figured out that if you poke my neck I scratch like a dog. She has yet to cease doing it. FML

agreeclassic 5 338

vote type 1 806

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By Anonymous - 15/12/2013 06:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

agreeclassic 28 375

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By CheeseMonsters - 24/01/2010 12:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML

agreeclassic 31 497

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No pain, no gain

By What's neck't? - 01/11/2022 20:00 - United States

Today, on this edition of me getting pimples in painful or uncomfortable places, I got a huge one on the side of my neck. I never thought that simply turning my head would be such a horrendously painful task. Also, the afflicted area of my neck suddenly itches like crazy. FML

agreeclassic 795

vote type 1 112

By phillyfan4life - 21/02/2011 19:50 - United States

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

agreeclassic 17 814

vote type 1 28 507

Revenge is sweet

By Jim20 - 20/02/2025 03:00 - Germany - Friedberg

Today, I found out my sister scratches her butt with my toothbrush every time she is mad with me. FML

agreeclassic 481

vote type 1 91

Fight or flight

By hannah - 17/02/2011 05:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

agreeclassic 27 861

vote type 1 4 152

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

agreeclassic 10 524

vote type 1 28 657

By anonamous - 12/03/2012 21:45 - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

agreeclassic 22 175

vote type 1 9 138

Doggy dog world

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 10:02 - United States

Today, I reached down to pet an elderly man's dog. It jumped up and utterly mauled my face, drawing blood. As I gasped in shock and pain, the man said, "Careful, he likes to scratch." FML

agreeclassic 20 224

vote type 1 11 279

Let cats be cats

By Anonymous - 28/02/2022 06:00

Today, I disciplined my cat for meowing too loudly in my apartment and disturbing neighbors by picking her up by the scruff. She then proceeded to scratch the ever living crap out of my hand, now it looks like Wolverine got a hold of me. FML

agreeclassic 273

vote type 1 2 237

mcaisse77 17

Tuesday 31 January 2017 4:16

So you scratch it with your foot?

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 31 January 2017 4:17

I'm sure she'll quit when it no longer amuses her. That could be 15-20 years because that shit is funny af!!!

Comments

mcaisse77 17

Tuesday 31 January 2017 4:16

So you scratch it with your foot?

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 31 January 2017 4:17

I'm sure she'll quit when it no longer amuses her. That could be 15-20 years because that shit is funny af!!!

awildwhisper 30

Tuesday 31 January 2017 5:13

You can't control scratching yourself?

coming back in the future 30

Tuesday 31 January 2017 6:28

woof woof

TyBootleg1499 4

Tuesday 31 January 2017 6:57

Too many negative votes, comment buried

Show the comment

alvarny 17

Tuesday 31 January 2017 8:31

if she throws a stick, do you fetch?

lilchica22001 22

Tuesday 31 January 2017 9:58

Too many negative votes, comment buried

Show the comment

Humanoidfreak 5

Tuesday 31 January 2017 10:33

shaggy dog is that you??

Robert Knighton 5

Tuesday 31 January 2017 11:21

The real question is do you start to drool when she rings a bell?

TheBroCodeBros 15

Tuesday 31 January 2017 13:02

Are you sure you're from Alberta and not "Scratchawan"

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Today, I found out that my neighbours are mad at me because I smoke. I don't smoke on the balcony, I walk away from the apartment complex so that they won't be affected by my bad habit. They're still mad at me because they can still see me. Didn't know that you could smell with your eyes. FML

agreeclassic 4 573

vote type 1 902

Today, my grandmother was sent to the ER. My family blamed it on her being allergic to my cats, making me feel guilty. She just called me to tell me the test results informed her that she is actually allergic to the carrot cake they got her. I gave my cats away 15 minutes ago to a little girl. FML

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vote type 1 8 243

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