Geek: Today, my brand new and very expensive laser printer does actually...

By harry - 06/12/2008 07:51 - France

Today, my brand new and very expensive laser printer does actually print 10 times faster than my old one. Except there's nothing printed on the paper. Never mind, at least it makes a cool sound. FML

agreeclassic 25 778

vote type 1 4 156

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By Anonymous - 03/09/2013 19:50 - United States

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

agreeclassic 51 420

vote type 1 3 129

Trigger

By OhaiiKid - 07/03/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML

agreeclassic 11 491

vote type 1 26 072

By MrandMrsRendon20 - 11/11/2010 00:26 - United States

Today, I complained to my boss about how my printer wasn't printing colored ink even though I had just installed a new cartridge yesterday. Upon investigation, she noted that I forgot to take off the protection sticker from the cartridge. Good job. FML

agreeclassic 7 288

vote type 1 29 928

By Nathan - 17/01/2009 22:31 - United States

Today, I printed my 10 page econometrics problem set questions out on $15/100 sheet ivory resume paper that I'd accidentally left in the paper tray on my printer. It turned out to be the wrong assignment. FML

agreeclassic 9 702

vote type 1 18 640

Do it on company time

By Ayeya - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I wanted to print out a 100-page game strategy guide using company's printer. While not wanting anyone to find out about this, I picked a time when I thought no one would be printing. My CEO ended up standing next to me for 10 minutes, waiting for his stuff to print after mine. FML

agreeclassic 9 865

vote type 1 74 968

Self-care

By Mee - 05/10/2009 10:49 - Kuwait

Today, I was frustrated at work so to have fun, I wrote an email to myself saying that I was great and loved myself and should relax. I used all different colors and fonts. Instead of hitting "delete", I hit "print" without realizing. My manager got it out of the printer and put it on my desk. FML

agreeclassic 10 701

vote type 1 39 422

By Canonlizardjet - 13/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Ormond Beach

Today, I had a near-death experience. Went to print a document and a lizard shot out of the printer right out at me. Gives a whole new meaning to a Canon printer, a fricking lizard cannon. FML

agreeclassic 6 589

vote type 1 603

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 14:40 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, I went to the print shop to get some work printed. The guy serving me printed my entire order wrong because he pushed the wrong button, so it had to be done again. He tried to charge me a fine for the mistake he made because "it's not a viable business otherwise". FML

agreeclassic 24 266

vote type 1 1 590

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 17:11 - Germany

Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML

agreeclassic 23 670

vote type 1 2 704

By smidgit - 19/05/2016 17:32

Today, after many days of messing around with wording and pictures, a huge and expensive printed card order came in to the office. I spelt the first word wrong. I can't get a refund. FML

agreeclassic 7 907

vote type 1 9 872

mrmofong0 0

Friday 13 February 2009 15:50

take the little tape thing off the cartridge.

spazzmckiwi 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:17

How brand new? What's the return policy? btw I like how FML has turned into a tech support blog.

Comments

katwoman9 3

Wednesday 14 November 2012 14:25

Thus dubstep was born.

ViviMage 39

Tuesday 29 January 2013 19:43

It's called ink. Get you some! Or take the plastic tab off the cartridge!

Heathtastic 10

Wednesday 16 October 2013 17:56

Did you try putting ink in it?

Baller_Bob 17

Wednesday 12 February 2014 5:04

No ink?

fuckaduck246 5

Sunday 20 July 2014 11:08

How is that an FML ???

bigmike25 11

Wednesday 15 October 2014 14:50

My god, France FMLs suck ass ?

Rammer3500 23

Sunday 11 January 2015 20:33

Have you tried putting in an ink cartridge?

FragMatik_fml 12

Tuesday 25 August 2015 3:00

Try adding ink

shaanan 6

Sunday 6 December 2015 16:32

did you try putting ink into it?

isnobodyhere 32

Friday 29 January 2016 19:24

Return it goes!

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Today, I went to the dentist two years after having a front tooth knocked out because I could finally (barely) afford the $4000 bill for an implant. They checked me out and told me that my teeth have shifted to the point that I’ll need braces before receiving an implant, for another $4k bill. I’m sick of looking like a hick. FML

agreeclassic 987

vote type 1 128

Today, I had pest guys over, so I asked if I should put my cat away. They asked if he was crazy, and I usually call him a "nut job" or a "handful" but instead of one of those, I said, "He's a handjob" to them. FML

agreeclassic 632

vote type 1 235

Today, me, a coworker, and my manager were looking at random advertisements. One ad was a picture of three fish. My coworker named them what I thought were completely random names. I said, "Those are stupid names." Turns out those are my manager's kids' names. FML

agreeclassic 9 601

vote type 1 32 390

Today, my new girlfriend and I finally did the deed. I also realized today that I have a strange kink. An outie belly button. FML

agreeclassic 619

vote type 1 283

Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking Gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML

agreeclassic 30 401

vote type 1 3 235

Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my fridge. FML

agreeclassic 56 145

vote type 1 12 718

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Trigger

Do it on company time

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