Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie....

By oumalina - 12/08/2010 01:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML

agreeclassic 41 093

vote type 1 8 431

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By elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

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Today, I told my long-distance boyfriend that I'd like to throw my legs over my head and have him cram his dick deep inside me. He told me to order a pizza, "It'd be more fun." FML

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By Anonymous - 22/04/2013 20:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML

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By fatgirl - 16/05/2010 04:08 - United States

Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML

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By Samantha K - 19/10/2020 20:08

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he stopped and got dressed. Naked and confused, I figured he’d be right back. Yeah, 20 minutes later with a plate of food for himself. So much for sex. It would've been nice if he told me though. FML

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By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

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By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 18:00

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

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By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

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_streets_ 19

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:19

haha isn't that the rule for swimming or something

Raleigh_bruh 7

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:23

The real Fml here is that you two made out after eating pizza.. Not a very appetizing taste you want in your mouth mixed with someone else's saliva. :/

Comments

motor_butt 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 12:25

omg. hahahhaha. I was thinking Sausage pizza instantly after I read the first line. ;) heh.

dom9228 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 12:35

wow haha his loss?

biagginoUSA 5

Thursday 12 August 2010 12:57

DAMM FYL LOL NEXT TIME HE WANTS IT TELL HIM IT'S THE RIME OF THE MONTH LOL OR SOMETHING ELSE IDC

yuhimjesus 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 13:54

do you like to fist pump?

dodgewama 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 13:45

BAHAHAHAHA EPIC FAIL

BrandiG 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 13:55

ur boyfriend must not have wanted it bad enough.

jnjones04 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 14:10

pizza won't turn u down....

funnieguy89 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 14:16

i agree with 24. only thing is we might not finish before the pizza got there... ;)

roflinyourwaffle 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 16:42

i'm pretty sure you can finish before the pizza arrives, seeing as how you're most likely referring to you and your right hand; i know of no pizza place that finishes delivery under 3 minutes.