Health: Today, I went to the doctor to check the dark growth I just discovered...

There is this new type of cleansing bar, its called soap. No seriously, just use it with a bit of water and it gets rid of that gym-sock stench under your arms. Quite revolutionary, I must say.

Youd_laugh_2 0

Monday 14 December 2009 23:52

If you can't find the shower how could you find the doctor?

quackquackquac 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 0:07

I saw this in Mad magazine (i don't really know what it's called... i just randomly picked it up at the library.)

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The Top

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 418

You deserved it 5 739

Today, a woman who I have spoken to approximately twice in my life, asked me out. I turned her down in the most harmless way I could. Three hours later, I found my car keyed and my windshield wipers gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 335

You deserved it 2 030

Today, I learned that not only am I pregnant, I'm too far along for an abortion. My husband and I originally bonded over the fact that we both hate children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 718

You deserved it 29 524

Today, I was walking with a friend to tell him how excited I was for college and even motivating him to apply for the same school, until I found out later that I got rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 149

You deserved it 2 475

Today, my wife and I decided it would be funny to pull a prank on her family who we were going to see for dinner. I hid in the foyer while she went in and announced to her parents that she was leaving me. I watched as her mother hugged her daughter and cried "Finally..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 295

You deserved it 21 585

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 333

You deserved it 8 974