Miscellaneous: Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through...

By fububc - 05/02/2010 15:14 - France

Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML

agreeclassic 31 852

vote type 1 6 428

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By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML

agreeclassic 446

vote type 1 992

By wtf - 30/01/2015 09:00 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

agreeclassic 28 621

vote type 1 2 658

By lizzard0416 - 30/11/2012 03:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

agreeclassic 36 989

vote type 1 10 003

By ewww - 03/12/2009 05:59 - United States

Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long, nasty toenails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML

agreeclassic 42 409

vote type 1 3 884

Eye bleach

By deardaughter - 14/08/2019 06:00 - Australia

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML

agreeclassic 1 837

vote type 1 125

By no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no - 01/09/2013 20:04 - Greece - Athens

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

agreeclassic 41 315

vote type 1 3 233

By EwwEwwEww - 19/02/2017 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML

agreeclassic 5 867

vote type 1 469

Happy wife, happy life, right?

By tradwife blues - 22/08/2023 15:02 - United States

Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML

agreeclassic 928

vote type 1 165

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

agreeclassic 1 145

vote type 1 1 001

By Avomitmous - 09/02/2014 21:18 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML

agreeclassic 41 744

vote type 1 5 334

darienlake 0

Friday 5 February 2010 19:57

hahaha. you should have gone back in and started a conversation while casually using the scissors to cut your pubic hairs and see what he does

RipIt 0

Friday 5 February 2010 19:58

YDI for smoking! naaah just kidding, that's gross!

Comments

jlynns79 0

Sunday 25 April 2010 9:49

my husband does that kind of nasty stuff too!!! arg!!

isthisanfml 0

Sunday 2 May 2010 17:09

smoking kills you dumbass

resultsmayvary 5

Friday 21 May 2010 8:26

um, that's not as disgusting as smoking cigarettes!!

brianjman14 22

Saturday 24 July 2010 6:01

I love how you all miss the point of the FML.

happybillie 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 2:05

31,(: agreed

brianjman14 22

Friday 6 August 2010 16:02

I love how everyone doesn't focus on the point of the FML.

glitchedgamer 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 13:45

Well, you seem to enjoy filling you body with nasty shit anyway, ms. smoker.

Lalala1996 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:43

Your husbands a winner.

Norther 1

Saturday 16 April 2011 15:51

#31 agreed! Smoking sux. Come over to Norway and try snus :-)

JellicleCats1831 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 4:31

Yes, and filling your lungs with black tar is so much better. FYL, for smoking

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

agreeclassic 45 049

vote type 1 3 878

Today, my mom threw out years worth of trophies that I'd put tons of effort into earning. Her reason? They all looked the same to her. FML

agreeclassic 33 112

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Today, my boyfriend told me he watched True Life I'm Pregnant. Now I know why we haven't been having sex. FML

agreeclassic 27 538

vote type 1 3 343

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML

agreeclassic 166 800

vote type 1 13 714

Today, I started six weeks of radiation on my left axillary region. Besides not being able to shave my armpit, I also can’t use lotion of any kind near the area, nor wear deodorant. This wouldn’t be a problem except it’s summer and I live in Southern California. The sweat is killing me. FML

agreeclassic 1 466

vote type 1 118

Today, I had a Zoom interview. My chair decided to break from under me. CRACK! One leg broke. I tried to compose myself and played it off. CRACK! The second leg gave out and I couldn't hold myself up anymore and fell down with it. The interviewer promptly stopped the interview and said, "We’ll be in touch." FML

agreeclassic 1 002

vote type 1 159

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