Today, I was holding the ladder while my husband was in the attic,...

By Ohdear - 16/06/2019 15:08 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I was holding the ladder while my husband was in the attic, and I let out a silent fart, thinking he wouldn't notice. A minute later, he complained of the dreadful smell and told me he was checking for a dead animal. FML

agreeclassic 1 669

vote type 1 622

The rhythm of the fight
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Family portrait

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML

agreeclassic 124

vote type 1 526

By anonymous - 05/05/2015 05:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

agreeclassic 29 585

vote type 1 6 321

Chemical warfare

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 21:00 - Canada - Terrace

Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML

agreeclassic 158

vote type 1 441

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

agreeclassic 1 498

vote type 1 646

Hot air

By SuperSleuth - 07/10/2021 11:01 - United States - Miami

Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML

agreeclassic 844

vote type 1 366

Cozy

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML

agreeclassic 410

vote type 1 88

By StinkyandStupid - 15/03/2012 17:49 - United States

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

agreeclassic 9 657

vote type 1 38 151

By Anonymous - 05/06/2011 20:45 - United States

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss when I accidentally let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

agreeclassic 19 416

vote type 1 46 374

By Anonymous - 10/06/2013 01:52 - United States

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

agreeclassic 44 709

vote type 1 7 931

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

agreeclassic 8 349

vote type 1 32 320

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 16 June 2019 18:57

His search will be futile unless he checks your pants.

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Sunday 16 June 2019 18:48

My friends wife swears she doesn't fart, to make matters worse she's a nurse. I don't understand her logic.

Comments

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Sunday 16 June 2019 18:48

My friends wife swears she doesn't fart, to make matters worse she's a nurse. I don't understand her logic.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 16 June 2019 18:57

His search will be futile unless he checks your pants.

Ksweety_fml 27

Sunday 16 June 2019 19:06

You need to calm down eating meat

Laurea Lindroos 8

Sunday 16 June 2019 23:43

I can relate. When I went home with a guy I was dating, my feet smelled so bad that he kept looking if his cat had done something 🙈

HokieJ 10

Monday 17 June 2019 0:07

I'd recommend seeing a doctor if it was that bad!

ClumbsyHotty 10

Tuesday 18 June 2019 6:31

Hot air rises 😂

donb23 23

Tuesday 18 June 2019 21:58

Anna?

metroido 17

Sunday 26 December 2021 10:55

to be fair, 99% of my farts don’t smell at all. maybe you have the same deal as me?

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Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML

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vote type 1 4 070

Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML

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Today, my allergies started up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fractured my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML

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Today, I was home alone and it started to rain. It hadn't rained in days so I went out on my balcony and ran around. I felt great until I realized that my door had been swung shut because of the wind, and it had no handle. I had to wait outside in the rain for two hours. FML

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Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

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Today, I was showing my Mom how to use the Internet on her phone. As there was bad reception, it said "Unexpected Failure." Seeing it, she muttered under her breath, "Just like you, then..." FML

agreeclassic 33 958

vote type 1 3 108